How Could I Almost Forget?!

!! HAPPY 49TH ANNIVERSARY, MOM AND DAD !!

I'm so glad you're still going strong and more in love than ever. Thanks for living in such a way that everyone can see how much you like each other and are glad to be together. Enjoy your celebratory date.

You have taught me so many things about marriage:

• do nice things for each other: get the door, plant flowers, make lunches, train the kids to clean up after themselves;
• work together at something: gardening, canning, camping, backpacking (even if someone keeps pretending that there's a bear in the bushes), family stuff;
• go on dates regularly;
  
• "Couple Time" is important, call it what you will—"nap time," "we need to talk alone," "don't knock on the door or you're in trouble time"—just have it;
• always treat your spouse in such a way that they will always know they are loved;
• don't leave the house angry;
• sleeping on a problem is often a good idea—or space, whatever;
  
• don't air your dirty laundry with everyone in the family—speak well of your spouse at all times;
  
• forgetting a birthday or anniversary is not nice but it's also not worth punishing a spouse for—assume everyone is doing their best and some things just get forgotten.
  

My favorite concept is the idea that there is no one person out there meant only for me. There are many people that I could choose to be with and be happy. The important thing is to decide well and then keep on choosing to stay married. This set my mind at ease from a very young age. Knowing that my husband would be up to me and not the universe was very comforting. And look how well I chose!*

I'm so glad that you're both following your dream to serve missions. Thus combining your love of service, learning new things and making new friends. I'm so proud of you for putting yourselves out there, struggling to learn new languages, fit into new cultures, taking cinnamon rolls and Red Feather stories to the world.

Again, happy anniversary.

________________
*Ed. note: Universe 1, Kitti 0, Justin ∞

But Enough About Me

Firstly, you're all such lovely people. Thanks for your sympathy and sorry to be all 'poor me'. Things are fine now. It's just nice to get out of my own head every once in awhile. Okay, enough of that.

Merry Christmas everyone! I'm bound and determined to not only take pictures this year but to post them as well. I hope everyone else has that goal in mind because I can't wait to see what y'all do over break.

My best and brightest wishes to all for a lovely Christmas and happy New Year.

Can I Just Tell You...

The difference it makes to not be in pain? HUGE. That's the difference it makes.

Last night was dark (both literally and metaphorically). Life is just so terrible when you can't walk. Grace was trying to cheer me up by offering to time* how long it took for me to walk from the kitchen to the office. At two, I had to ask her to stop. Concentrating on staying upright when there's a little voice counting out, "one, two …" is really more than one can be expected to handle at such times.

I started to think, it's too much: Christmas, work, cleaning, cooking, living, finding joy, blah, blah, blah. Then there's the stand-by, "I never should have gotten married or had a family. I'm bringing them down. I can't live like this...." and so on.

(I never voice this out loud because then this conversation would ensue: K:"I'm bring you down." J: "What?! That's crazy talk. I'm the one bringing you down." K: "You? No, it's me. I'm cramping your style." J: "No, you're insane. I'm the party pooper." K: "Shut up. It's me." And so on. You can see that this is going no where. Also, J would never call me insane and I would never say "shut up" to him. Random strangers and other people we're mad at but never each other.)

Today I saw the handsome and talented Dr. A for my little toe and my ankle. He did a little fixing, some talking, a lot of planning and I left his office feeling so much better.

I went in thinking something had better get cut off or I needed a cane or heads were going to roll. Seriously. My feet are a hot mess. (My poor little tootsies.) Even Dr. A agreed. Then he so nicely said, "Here's what we can do about that..."

Woohoo! That's what I was thinking, going back to work, still limping but without the "I'm going to kill someone if they so much as look at me wrong" kind of pain. Yay! Sunshine and daisies. It turns out when you use orthotics and braces in-tandem they work so much better. Synergy, how I love thy name!

But really, I feel so much better. I have a ton to do up until Xmas vacation and now I feel like I can do it. (As opposed to thinking, "there's no way in h***" but finding a way to do it anyway. The "can-do" attitude totally helps the process.)

____________
*(She LOVES to know how fast she can do things. We time everything around here: getting dressed, dumping the garbage, laps around the quad, drinking milk.)

Note: Sorry Mom, it's true. I totally swear in my head when things get rough.

Holiday Bark-Off

At work today we are having a Bark Throwdown. Bark is another thing I didn't know about before moving to PA.

Melt chocolate chips, add almonds or crushed candy cane or anything else you can think of and spread out on a cookie sheet, lined with wax or parchment paper. Allow to cool in the freezer. (Or if you live in PA, put outside your door for a few seconds.) Once completely cooled, break into pieces. And there you have it, Bark.

Here's the one I did (P.S., they all had to be original recipes -no internet cheating):
1 bag 60%cocoa Ghirardelli chocolate chips
1/2 chopped macademia nuts
6 caramels (chopped in quarters)

Melt the chocolate. Add the stuff. Spread on parchment. Freezer for 5 minutes. Break and (put in a) bag.

I haven't actually tried it yet -it was 8am when I made it- so maybe it won't be great. Well see.

What I really want to know is, have you heard of bark and have you ever made it? I don't know if bark is just not a west-coast thing or if I was hanging with the wrong crowd.

Maudie Jane's Birthday

Yes, it's true. The Best Little Sister I Ever Had is turning....something. Happy birthday, Maudie Jane (on Monday)!

Now for the roast. Or some less embarrassing stories.

As children, there was of course, the fighting of many varieties: fist, feet, yelling, tickling (I'm so so sorry for that one), name-calling, food (I wish we'd done more of that), throwing, etc. Sad times. Sometimes we were enemies.

Also, don't forget the rush to the best spot at the dinner table (always next to Dad -why was that?), the licking of the plate to ensure no one else took the spot and the calling of the couch corner on Saturday mornings.

Sometimes we shared: interests, rooms, barbies, candy, friends, dressing Tyler up as a girl, ideas (remember the pretend play with the girl who always got everything but was never spoiled?). Good times. Sometimes we were friends.

Then we grew up to be teenagers and there was the borrowing and trading (sometimes not admitted to until much much later): clothes, hair-stuff, shoes (not as much), styles, friends, babysitting jobs, the car, wild stories (mostly on the part of MJ), jokes -I love the hilarity of MJ, music (it's true, MJ introduced me to Nirvana and Green Day). Good times.

Then I went to college and we forgot that we were ever frenemies and became just friends.

Favorite scary story: I called from UT, one night when you were home alone. You were totally freaked out because someone kept calling and hanging up. I told you to go over to our friends house and you took the land-line outside with you so that I would know you were okay--all the way to the car. But as you got in the car, you dropped the phone and shrieked a little and the phone cut out. All I heard was a shriek and the phone went dead. Scariest 30seconds of my life until you called to say what happened. Phew. The End.

Then we grew up some more and now there is only sharing and sharing.

• favorite books
  
• secret favorite books
• sometimes only "ok" books
• texting and phoning
• love of fine yarns and cheeses
• husbands who love the Wegman's bakery
• so many stories and so much more laughter
• sometimes tears
• sometimes soda through the nose
• still clothes (now through our kids)
• and on and on

I love you, MJ. Happy birthday.

Belated Homecoming Parade Pictures

Penn State knows how to have a Homecoming Parade. And the 2008 version was no exception. We staked out our plot of sidewalk a mere six hours before 'go' time. Good thing too. Not five minutes later and the whole area had been staked out by other eager beavers (er, eager lions?), also wanting a good place to watch. Phew, that was close.

I'm not even ashamed to admit that I got kinda choked up when the Alumni Band went by. Loud music, played by PSU-loving old people? What's not to love?
And we all loved Charlie Brown.
You're seeing the crab of The Maryland Chapter of the Alumni Assoc . Seriously, there were at least a dozen different State chapters of the Alumni Assoc. represented in the parade. Even Utah had people to march in the parade. They don't kid around about football.
The fanciest floats were all from The Greeks. Very impressive and mostly appropriate for young children. And they all throw candy. That's really the point, right?

I put this one in mostly to show what a poor camera-womam I am. Poor Jose, I didn't mean to cut her off. She was a HUGE hit at the parade. All the floats (going by us) were targeting Josie with their candy. I think she out-collected both Grace and Dane by about half.

And that's all folks.

Harry Potter On Hold

It turns out that reading a story about big, dark, invisible ghosty-things, to an eight-year-old, with an imagination, at bed-time can sometimes be a bad idea.

The Gracetress has been having nightmares. Guess who else hasn't been sleeping?

Needless to say, HP #'s 4-7 are on indefinite hold. Poor sweetie. We're on to happier stuff.

Prince Caspian, here we come! Or Ella Enchanted. Or Something.

My Back Is Killing Me

And so the dearth of posts.

More when I can sit for longer than 10 minutes without wanting to die.

Harry Potter Party 3

Here at Casa Halverson we are reading book 3 of HP. When we finish we will be having a HP Viewing Party.

Our first HP Viewing Party included popcorn and blankets on the couch. Oh, how inexperienced we were.

The second HP Party included black wizarding robes, Hermione-accidentally-turned-cat-face-esque Ears, and again, popcorn. We had learned.

The third viewing approaches and, as yet, we have nary a plan. Help me out, folks. You know the book: think escaped prisoner, wild animals, time turners... what else? I don't know which direction our décor or costumes should take. What would you do?

Keep in mind, it will be The Gracetress who will don said costume or be in charge of the décor. She loves this stuff. J and I are merely the Procurers of Movies and Things. I just like to have a few ideas in my arsenal to throw out there when she brings it up.

Ideas, anyone?

A Tale Of Two Bras

Yep, that's right. I said bras.

This Spring I finally admitted to the universe that all was not perfect in my life. In fact, it was time for new bras. And a fitting to be sure that said bras were doing their best jobs: to lift and separate (don'cha know). Very important. I bought three and life returned to its regularly scheduled happiness.

This Summer, however, what with The Wee Beasties Incident and all, a tragedy occurred. I accidentally threw all three new bras into a super hot wash load that happened to also include Bright Red Things. Yes. My new beige, neutral-colored bras. Hot Water. Bright Red.

Sadly enough, one did not make it; both wires mysteriously missing, strange blue/gray/pinkish color, one of the hooks was broken. Did I mention there were also jeans in this load. And also, this was an Accident (read: not on purpose. I would NEVER do this on purpose!).

And then there were two.

The other two came out a lovely shade of mauve and only missing one wire between the four possible (if you're following). Fortunately, I found the rogue wire and put it back. Phew! But then I didn't have any appropriately colored bras for white shirts. Because really, nothing says "I dressed in the dark" or "I'm a skank so look at my bra" faster than a dark bra and a light shirt. (again, don'cha know).

Well, maybe you can see where this is going. I HAD to bleach one of them. Yes, I did. And it did lighten it. It also sped up the decline of said bra, about one-hundred fold. (insert head thrown back in a wail)

This month that rogue wire decided to go, well, rogue again. Only, it didn't just poke out. Oh no. It poked in. Ahem. Very uncomfortable. Things must be done. Or thing. Whatever.

And now I have new bras again.

What have we learned?
A) Never wash bras on anything other than delicate cycle (or hand wash, if you're not lazy or pressed for time like me)
2*) Never wash with Bright Colors
D) Don't Bleach Your Bra. It doesn't like it.


*Sorry, MJ, I totally stole this but it makes me laugh every time.

For The Ignorant and The Haters

See what I did there? I'm that good.

RD -this thread is for all those who have not read the books, never intend to read the books, and will never even pick them up for perusal. No never. Yea verily.

So, this is the thread where you get to vent all your frustrations with the aforementioned books. That's how much I love you. I'm providing a safe-zone for criticizing something you've never experienced.



I'm the best wife ever.

Wha???

People. If you read the book, please go see the movie. I need to have more people to talk to.

Go. Now.

Come back.

Discuss.

Thank you.

I'd Like To Buy An Indulgence,Please

Wrong religion? Darn it.

It turns out that what I really want is not so much to confess my meanness as to receive absolution. J pointed this out to me last night. And it's true. I just want the guilty conscience to go away.

I need to go back to meditating. The thing is, it's hard for me to sit still for long enough to really have a meaningful experience. I think about Enos praying for a whole day and I just don't get it. What did he say for that long? Did he meditate for part of it? How did he fill the time?!

How do you all quiet your mind? How do you make yourself sit still? Or maybe you don't have to make yourself - you lucky dog. Still, I'm looking for strategies for meditation.

If you have any...you know where to find me. I'll be the one running in circles.

The Holiday For Lovers

Yep, you guessed it. Valentine's is just around the bend. Time to get started planning. We're T-87 days until the big event.

So. Ideas anyone? Big plans? I'm sure if we put our collective heads together we can share the wealth of ideas.

Let's everyone getting lovin' and then we can get back together and plan.

No, really, Justin outdoes me every year. I need to step it up this year (well, technically next year but, whatever).

More to follow.

**Edited to add: The truth is, J makes the bed for me nearly every evening because I can not sleep (no, not ever) in a messy bed. The sheets have to be perfectly aligned and I can't/don't want to do it myself.

Also, on bad days he puts my shoes and socks on and even hooks my unmentionables.

So, when it comes to V-Day, if no flowers or chocolates are forth coming...well, I'll take the day-to-day kindnesses any day and buy myself the damn flowers.

That said, J still puts on a good show, more V-Days than not. I'd like to out-do him some day.

Confessions of A Secretly Mean Person

It's important to me that you understand that I can be a mean person. Why? Just because. Maybe so you all will have lowered expectations and then when I do something nice you will be pleasantly surprised. There's just too much pressure in being known as a "nice person."

Sometimes I'm not nice!

I've done some mean things in my life. For some reason, they always come back to haunt me at night or when I slow down (metaphorically speaking) for too long. Naturally, I try to keep busy.

I HATE having my meanness come back to haunt me! Doesn't everyone? Sometimes I wonder if anyone else has been as mean as I have. Any of the really nice people I know (I mean you), who I think are wonderful — have you been mean, ever? Probably not.

If the truth be told (and it is, right here), many of the mean things I have done involved boys*. It just seems a more grievous sin to be mean to my own sex**. Don't we have it hard enough already? Unequal pay, subordination and then meanness from other women?! No. It is too much. We have to stick together, ladies.

We already have the built-in fights: college or not, married or not, kids or not, more-than-one or not, stay-at-home or not, preside or not, breast-feed or not, SO MANY THINGS. To borrow a phrase from the beloved Lola, we should be lovers, not haters.

This post has evolved into something I had not anticipated. Really, I was planning to confess all my meannesses and have done with it. Instead I want to ask, why can't we be friends?

No, really.

Women of the world, why can't we be friends? What gets in the way of us accepting each other? Beside the whole issue of not everyone will like us, individually. What is the reason that we can't decide to accept all women as they are? (Whether or not they accept us.)

Okay, turning the pointer back to myself: what's stopping me? I think firstly I'll need to tone down my sense of outrage and self-righteous indignation. That's going to be a tough one. I really enjoy the outrage.

Next... actually, that first one is a doozy. I'm going to work on that for now. Less outrage, here I come.


*Since writing this sentence ten minutes ago, I have been reminded of the many women/girls I have been mean to. In my defense, growing up with more sisters in the house than brothers puts one at a disadvantage when the meanness points get tallied. I'm just saying....

**Upon further reflection, if the above is not is not accurate (I have been mean to women and men equally), then I guess I'm an equal-opportunity-mean-distributor. Whoa. Watch out.

Various and Sundry IV

At some point, you'll learn to skip over these posts as they're not very interesting, even to me. Until then, while I have someone's attention...

• Where would one find an anthology of fairy tales? Not the traditional Grimm Brothers or Hans Christian Anderson. I'm thinking more Middle Eastern, Russian, African or even Nordic. I want to check out some new stories or different versions from ones I've grown up with. Any ideas?

• Also, I found some fun new (new to me) books: The Ordinary Princess, by M. M. Kaye (I think this was recommended by amazon) and The Lightning Thief, by Rick Riordan (thanks to D.F.D. for that one). Both are great for kids, and apparently for moms pretending that they are reading, in advance, for their kids but are really just reading for their own pleasure. Good for them, too.

• I came home from a girl's night, last night to find Grace still awake. She called me up to see her and had a very serious confession to make. It turns out that J had fallen asleep while they were watching a show together and Grace switched it to a TiVo'd Project Runway. "Mom. I knew it was getting late but I just had to see the clothes! Then I knew I should tell you. I stayed up until 9:23. I'm sorry." Dude, I stay up for the clothes, too.

• In Twilight news, I won't be going to the midnight showing of the movie. What kind of fan am I?! The tired kind, I guess. How sad for me. So, confess, who's going to be there at midnight?

What Elephant?

This is true: until this election period, I always thought that the donkey was for the GOP and the elephant for the Dems. How did I mix that up? Embarrassing but oh, so true.

Moving on from things I don't know.

In light of recent events, you may or may not have been reading Føfee. If you have, you may have been surprised, disappointed, interested, freaked out, or relieved at what you have read there. I don't know. You don't have to tell me. Clearly.

The purpose of my blog, however, has been to keep in touch with family and friends, post about The Gracestress and to express my many bewildered and bewildering thoughts on all things not political. Naturally, I slipped a little with the "not political" in the last couple of months—I am human.

J, however, has set no such constraints on himself and I admire his honesty and transparency in sharing his thoughts, ideas, frustrations and loves. I generally save my politicking for his blog.

What I have to say is this: I don't want my personal beliefs or disbeliefs to be a reason that we can't all get along. I can't stand the idea of offending anyone and driving a friend or family member away because of something I say or agree with (thus the aim at posting noncontroversial, one might even say milk toast, blog posts).

Isn't it possible for us to have differing, strongly held beliefs and continue to discourse? Or at least continue to make polite conversation until such time as we remember that we have many other things in common: books, movies, books, life experiences, books, friends, perhaps clothes (sorry, I'll return what I've borrowed, eventually).

Everyone here has always been kind, loving and above reproach. So I'm not really addressing this to my lovelies. I just know that both the election and Prop 8 have been a really big deal for a long time and we all feel differently about each of those things. I hope that won't stand in the way of the continued sharing of funny stories, the telling of deep, dark secrets, and the various and sundry other things we talk about. Not to mention the pictures. Oh, the pictures.

I love you all. I'm striving to be more honest about who I am. I'm still figuring out where I'm going with all of this. (If you're thinking, "A hot place," stop that! It's bad karma!) I'm thinking about Gandhi and MLK, Jr a lot these days. I'm thinking a lot about President Hinckley's call for greater decency and understanding. I'm pondering his invitation to welcome all truths into our communities.

Here I am.

My Fair Gracie

Grace and I had a Girl's Day on Saturday. We went to the library, dropped stuff off at Goodwill and perused their aisles a bit. We got our nails done and had lunch at a pizza place.

We went to the mall, picked up a new pair of "church shoes"—if the shoes are not designated as "for church only and forever, no, don't ask if you can wear them to school again" then they get worn to school and scuffed up and then the mom isn't so happy anymore. Flip flops (albeit nice ones) aren't cutting it, what with our colder weather and all.

We stopped in and got some sunglasses for The Gracestress—got to protect those baby blues. We met our favorite people at Sam's and got ourselves invited over, which apparently was in Grace's master plan all along. Good thing it worked out. Thanks, guys.

We ended by stopping in at Target and I let her pick out a dollar slinky. All the way home she sang, Rogers and Hammerstein-style, "The slinky is the greatest gift. The greatest gift of all, the slinky is." And so on. In her most soulful, sincere voice. Also, girl's got volume. And there's no end to the lyrics once she gets going.

Had I known that the slinky would be the hit of our 12-hour day, I think I would have gotten it a little earlier.

But seriously, isn't this the baby going for the gift box all over again? When will I ever learn?

Yes We Can

I'm so happy right now.

Too Verclempt

I already couldn't sleep last night as I considered the outcomes of today's election. J did his best to talk me down and then couldn't sleep himself. Poor guy. For the record, J was the one reminding me, "family before politics."

Fortunately for family relations, he also suggested it would be in poor taste to title my next blog entry, "If you voted for McCain, we can no longer be friends". He assures me, on either side of the aisle, what we really need is to get along and strive for understanding before guns.

A few other people had these ideas in mind as well. I wanted to point them out, in case you haven't already read them.

Big thanks to Christian for sharing this. I'll need to see if I live close enough to anyone willing to admit to my face that they voted opposite me. And I'll need to play nice. Maybe I'll wait 'til after the election to see how I'm feeling about this one.

Also to Darin and Dave for sharing this. I LOVE this post and agree with so much of it. Sadly, as always happens, it was taken in the wrong way by some. However, I think it's a fantastic way of broaching what Christian suggested in his post.

And because I so often agree with RD. Not so much conciliatory but certainly well-thought out. Would you expect anything less of the man I love?!

Anywho, BBQ anyone?

Also, tomorrow, let's all go back to being the best of friends. Happy voting.

A Question and A (possible) Confession

Question: Is is possible I was subconsciously influenced by the works of S. Meyers when choosing my current hair color? Just a thought that occurred to me the other day.

Confession: I think you know.

PS -Maudie Jane don't pretend you haven't had the same thought.

Hey

Hello there, all. I seem to have lost a couple of blogger weeks. Busy life, cranky body, Halloween, you know the drill. To Erika and Nicea, I missed you guys too.

As a peace offering here are a few never-before-seen pics of Frida Kahlo as a child:


And with her dear friend Diego Rivera:

Street Cred

I've noticed an unexpected side-effect of dying my hair; Grace's friends think I'm very cool. Hey, whatever it takes. I'm clearly not going to be the mom handing out condoms or buying them beer, but I can totally keep it real in the hair department. Nice.

Grace is the smartest, bestest, most beautiful daughter ever. Yes, she is. Of course, yours are too; let's not fight. Last night Grace and I had a conversation about wanting to grow up to be beautiful. She's concerned that it's not going to happen:
"I mean, Mom. I look like a little kid. I don't want to look like this forever."
But then she said:
"I just want to be respected for who I am. I feel like my friends don't let me just be myself and respect me."

Um, yeah. That's what we all want. We then talked about all the people who love her and respect her. If you're reading right now, your name was probably mentioned (unless I don't know you, in which case, I'm sure you're a lovely person and maybe your name will make the list next time). Thank you all for being on that list. It meant a lot to her to hear your names.

I remember this time in my life so well. Of course I wanted to have friends and fit in. Of course I wanted to be beautiful. (I also wanted to always wear my older sisters' clothes.) The struggle for respect among friends was a hard thing to go through, and even as an adult it can be unpleasant.*

I wish so much that I could convey to Grace how little the spats she has with friends will matter as she gets older. She won't care when she's thirty if she didn't get to hear the secrets the other girls were telling each other. Being told she's not rich enough(?!) isn't really a big deal (yes, a little girl totally told her that. You better believe I wanted to call her up and say mean things, but water under the bridge. Not to mention, who even cares about that in third grade?!)

But that's not entirely true. The person she becomes and the coping mechanisms she develops as a result of her childhood experiences will shape the adult she becomes. We all had to go through it, right? We all survived. We're all mostly nice and normal. Kids are resilient, right?

I don't want Grace to feel that she has to fit a mold and act in a way contrary to her nature to be accepted. Cue appropriate books, movies, conversations. What have you, did you, will you tell your daughters (okay, and sons too) when this stuff comes up?

I really wish children were born with the collective understanding of both their parents. Children would have more perspective on the short span of childhood. Maybe they would enjoy it more, knowing that life only gets more complicated. Think how wicked smart each new generation would be. Nothing could possibly go wrong with that.

Until then, we're going to need so many more conversations.

*BTW, I have awesome, wonderful, lovely, wicked smart friends. Thank you all.

A Farewell to Like and MissKitti Goes Brown

I say the word 'like' entirely too much. How embarrassing for me. In an effort to stop embarrassing myself I am trying to only use the word 'like' in case of emergency. It's a lot harder than one might think.

Who knew that my inner child is actually a teenaged-valley girl? Yes, it's true. So. Please bear with me if we are talking and I suddenly seem tongue-tied; I'm merely trying to say something without the use of my secret favorite word.

What word can you not live without?

And. Me with new and improved color:
Yep, that's right. I'm a newly minted brunette. I totally admit to being inspired by Lauren's own fabulous brown locks.

New Information on SIDS

Click on the title to read the article, if you feel so inclined.

Interesting. Also, I'm so happy to see that SIDS-related infant mortality has gone down.

Conference Weekend?

While listening to conference on Saturday morning, first talk of the day,

Grace in sotto voce, "Mom, I just filled FIVE MINUTES of time! Just like that! I filled five minutes."

Um. Yeah. I didn't get to listen to much conference the weekend. I do remember a talk on hope. Would anyone like to fill me in on a few details?

In Other News

GingerGold is the new way to go in apples. Honey Crisp is a close second and a nod goes to Pink Ladies.

Any other honorable mentions?

Well Played, Joe Biden

And to S.P.- not so bad. She clearly had talking points that she was asked to stick with: energy, taxes, the word 'maverick', and being middle-class.

Hated the winking -I found it both annoying and insulting, but whatever. The bottom line, she didn't provide SNL with as many jokes for this week. Definitely a plus. And now we are all aware that she is a middle-class mom trying to make ends meet (yes, heavy sarcasm intended).

Senator Biden -he was able to answer the actual questions with specific examples, less skirting around the issues. He addressed criticism towards McCain, which is appropriate as SP hasn't been on the radar long enough to be anything other than a face (sorry, but it's true, unless you live in Alaska and I would totally say this even if she were a he).

All in all, a good debate and it left me with the same impressions that I had to begin with. Biden good for the job, able to reign in the speechifying. SP needs more experience, also one hell of a fighter.

I've discussed the experience issue with coworkers and we all agree that there is a certain amount of on the job training. A learning curve, if you will. One can't know what it is to be President or VP until one has walked in those shoes. Granted.

However, there needs to be a certain base of knowledge already in place to effectively build on. In the case of SP, there's no shame in not being familiar with foreign policy or the Bush Doctrine. However, being as she's running for VP, she needs to already know this stuff. She doesn't have time to play catch-up. Just my opinion.

I appreciated that Biden acknowledged that, while he does come from more modest roots, he is now well-off and does not fit into the 'middle-class'. Also, that he admitted that the office of VP doesn't really get to set policies or legislate. Important information to understand.

Who did you like? What were your impressions? More importantly, Can we still be friends?

Please Watch The Vice-Presidential Debate Tonight

Then let's talk tomorrow.

A Woman In Grey*

First of all, go read this interview. Secondly, Jessica Day George rocks. Even if I didn't love her books, which I do, I would buy them. Just to support her literary view of women. I approve big time.

The interviewer gets JDG to talk about what she doesn't like about how women are sometimes portrayed in literature. This is my favorite passage:

JDG: When the girl does save the day, but does so by, essentially, becoming a man. (William Shakespeare, she’s talking to you!) Dressing as a man, short hair, ultra-butch, sometimes even having to conceal her identity and live as a man completely, in order to earn the right to fight her own battles. No. NoNoNoNoNo! There is no reason why a girl who also enjoys high fashion cannot pick up the candlestick and knock the evil wizard unconscious. There is no reason why a woman cannot be a military strategist and still knit as a hobby, or have kids, or enjoy riding off into the sunset with a tall handsome guy on a white horse when the battle is won. So I write my heroines the way I like to think I am: smart, funny, tough, and well-dressed! In short: normal. It isn’t a fluke when a girl saves the day, she isn’t a freak of nature. She’s a heroine, the equal of a hero.

Seriously, go read the interview if you haven't. It's not long and you might even like it. Also, I have it on good authority (another awesome author, "Hi Michele") that JDG is super nice. I always love to hear that.

I've talked on and on, ad naseum, about wanting Grace to have positive role models in the books she reads. I've been reading up a storm in preparation for her soon-to-be great love of reading, just in case. I'm collecting books and lists of books like mad -thank you everyone for contributing to that cause.

Back to the quote. "It isn’t a fluke when a girl saves the day, she isn’t a freak of nature. " And this is often the case. When I read about this strong, normal, heroine -she is unusual within her society. She stands out. Is this because a woman such as JDG describes would automatically stand out in a real world or because she needs to stand out as the main character? Which is it, do you think?

I'd like to hope she stands out only because she needs to for the purposes of storytelling.** I like to think that this strong, normal heroine is part of a society that produces women just like her and she is what she is. Am I wrong to hope?

I'm finding more stories to suit this vein of thinking and it's great. Hermione is a start. Miri is another (Princess Academy -it's not Disney, don't get turned off by the title). You can read it in every one of JDG's stories.

So, anyhow, I loved this interview. I'll keep looking for the SIW -strong independent woman (thanks Lauren and Eric for that phrase) in books and real life. But now you know what I think.


*as opposed to black and white (you now, helpless or uber-witchy)
**did you get that, J -I actually used the phrase 'purposes of storytelling' please don't shun me later

Talk To The Hand Smurf Goes Native

I don't know what that means but it amuses me.

On Saturday Grace and I went downtown with Camille and Kgordee for a little shopping adventure amid the football crowd.

At a random jewelry shop, Kgordee found a brain-teaser-type toy and quickly picked it up and solved it. He started to show Grace how it worked and couldn't seem to get it to work as quickly the second time. Finally, Grace lost patience and here is what she said,

"Kgordee, why don't you buy it and take it home and work on it. Send me a letter when you solve it."

And she moved on. Um, ow. Better watch your back, Grace.

Also, should you come to visit between now and election day. Be prepared to answer Grace's questions regarding who you will be voting for. Then be prepared to defend your answer if it's not Obama. I swear we did not put her up to this. (But I must say I am pleased.)

Tagged By Moddy

Because I can't resist answering questions, taking quizzes*, making up answers:

What was I doing 5 years ago?

Working part time as a research dietitian, helping Grace get used to her new daycare, starting to come out of my clothing funk, crushing on Justin.

Pet Peeves
-being cold in the morning when I have to get out of my warm bed
-clothing tags -they feel terrible against my skin
-crusty people
-people who hold grudges -c'mon, forgive and move on, stop with the stink-eye already!

Pet Peeves Related to Reading (yes, really, what?!)
-(stolen from Moddy) when the library doesn't have the book I'm dying to read
-not being able to get the book I want IMMEDIATELY (or faster)
-not owning the book I'm dying to read
-this is an oldy but goody: pictures of people on the covers of the books I'm reading -eww, let me just imagine it

Things I would do if I were a Billionaire**

Don't think I didn't have this planned out years ago. Of course, I was just thinking a million would do.

So, all the usual stuff: houses for me and mine, cars, trips, charitable contributions, personal library to rival that of the one in Beauty and The Beast, trust funds for the kids (there was always the plural in mind).

Moddy hit on a great one: socks. Totally. All the socks.

I think billions is too much to spend. It would have to be spread over a lot of people and we could all come up with our own ways to continue to spread the wealth. Charter schools, literacy programs, etc.

Oh and I would want to fix the next presidential race. Would billions be enough?

Favorite Foods

Always the Mexican

*I think this might be me trying to make up for being such a poor tester in school. Seriously, I can talk myself out of a right answer faster than a speedo-wizard.

**I think the correct answer here is "nothing different, I am perfectly content with my life", but I'm not and therefore I want.

Favorite Conversations

This morning at the bus-stop:

Grace: Mom, yesterday I was a good example to a bee.

Me: ??

Grace: Yep. I just sat still and showed him he didn't have to sting me. Then he went away.

Last night at dinner:

Grace: 'Eeney-meeney' isn't fair any more. It used to be far but now it's not.

Me: ??

Grace: Because look: [goes through 'eeney-meeny'], see it always ends up on the other person. It used to be fair but now it's not. With 'bubble-gum-bubble-gum' at least you can put two feet in. That's fair.

Me: okay.

The Internets Would Like To Welcome Miss Moddy

You can read more here. I'm so glad you've come to play.

In Which MissKitti Profoundly Apologizes To The Universe

I am SO sorry.

Okay, the guilt of not speaking in glowing terms about my calling is killing me. Killing Me!, I say. The shame is too much. I must make amends.

Really, all there is to say is that the children I taught are each lovely in their very own ways. Each possess charms, talents and, abilities that are uniquely their own. When pressed, I say they're elegant. (thank you, Jane Austen)

Each class member I've had is very intelligent and certainly very capable. Whether I could interest them enough to join in the lesson was always variable.We had some good discussions and some mediocre ones and there were some discussions that should have happened that didn't.

No really, lovely children all. And I'm sorry for not saying that to begin with.

In Which MissKitti Returns To The Adult Class

I'm not going to lie, folks. I'm pretty excited to be going back to Relief Society.

I was called to be the RS Secretary on Sunday. Sweet. (I hope.) I have no idea what all that entails. I'm sure it will be great, whatever it is.

For the next little while, I'll be playing double duty until someone is called to replace me as teacher to the ten-year-olds. Everyone assures me this will happen quickly. I hope so -no RS until then.

It's not that I didn't love my calling in the Primary. Or like it, often. The presidency and other teachers are totally great and sweet and very helpful. And I often enjoyed the children. I also really liked singing time.

However, it turns out I don't have a lot in common with ten-year-old boys. Other than books -they gave some really good reading suggestions. Fablehaven, anyone? Artmeis Fowl? (To be fair, Burton and Tracy have been recommending these for years.) Spiderwick. Unfortunately, the Book of Mormon isn't on their list of "must reads".

So, while books other than the BoM can take up a portion of the lesson time, at some point we're going to have to get to the whole point of their being in Sunday School. Yep. And then the sound effects start. And the crawling around and under the chairs. Sometimes the throwing of things. The spontaneous shouting or calling out -not to be confused with speaking in tongues. Sweet boys, all, just still working on impulse and volume control.*

I've started to see my class as cosmic justice. I was not what you would call a quiet and sedate child in my Primary-going years. Oh no. I remember many Sundays having to sit in Grandpa's chair, after church, to practice being reverent.

Quick note on 'grandpa's chair' for the uninitiated: my Grandpa was an amazing carpenter-wood worker. He often built things for his kids and grandkids: beautiful cedar chests, plant stands, roll-top bread boxes (Mom, I really want yours), toy boxes, many things. He made us two oak chairs. Very functional and sturdy and lovely to look at. Also, not especially comfortable if you're a little kid and your legs don't reach the floor and the seat of the chair hits at an awkward spot on the back of your knees. And the backs are hard. People with bad backs love these chairs.

So. If we didn't sit reverently in church -all three hours- we had to sit in Grandpa's chair when we got home. Half-hour, hour, whatever. We learned to be reverent, let me tell you. I think my parents were on to something. Surprisingly enough, I really like those chairs now.

Moving on. I spent a lot of time alternately visiting the Bishop's office (who was my dad for five of those years) and sitting in Grandpa's chair. Which translates, roughly, to me not being a favorite with the teachers in Primary. Bless their little hearts.

Anywho, I'm sure I'll take another (many more) turn(s) in Primary. I'll try harder to be a better teacher. More fun lessons and all that. But for now, WAHOO! I'm going to Relief Society!


*if you're the parent of any of the above, and I don't think you are, don't feel bad. i'm sure my kid is giving her teacher a run for her money at least occassionally. we all raise our kids the best we can and hope they don't torture their teachers. no hard feelings.

Sometimes I Wonder

Are people really only mean because they are insecure? Or are there just mean people who also happen to be insecure?

Because I've met some mean people and they really seemed to think they were awesome. Maybe mean, insecure people are also very good actors.

Someone should study that.

Various and Sundry III

• It turns out that grass tea tastes better with other herbal teas mixed in. So far I have tried: lemon, mandarin orange, orange spice. All greatly improve the flavor of grass. Just so you know.
• 
  
• Cereal, when purchased in small, individual-sized boxes, tastes way better than the same cereal in a larger box.
• At least, they taste better if you're eight and your mean old mom is making you eat some thing for breakfast and the dumb breakfast cookies (yes- breakfast cookies, made by Quaker and they are yummy, with fiber and whole oats) aren't very appealing and she refuses to buy cereal straws because something about "just like candy" and yogurt is not appealing this week. Yeah.
• 
  
• Plus-sized jeans are not just bigger in the waist, as I previously thought. If you get them for a regular sized girl, thinking they will give her a little more room in the waistel region, then you will be wrong. They will be at least a full size too big and look similar to saggy-baggy elephant skin when worn to school.
• And then you'll be kind'a sad that you didn't try them on your daughter two months ago (when they were on sale at gapkids) when you could have just returned them. Sigh. At least she can wear them for the next couple of years.
• 
  
• You should always check under your kids sweaters before they go to school. If not, you might discover, on arriving home at the end of the day, that your child has in fact thrown a sweater over the shirt she wore to bed that she wore under another sweater so that I would not notice that she was wearing the same shirt to bed that she wore to school that day.
  
• For at least the last half of the day she will have taken her sweater off so that everyone will know that her parents let her go to school for two days in a row with the same shirt on. Naturally.
• Apparently, it was very comfortable. And it was from Grandma Natalie. She really likes it. When questioned about this, your child might respond, "What?! Oh, I forgot."
• You might then considering questioning your parenting skills. But don't give into it. You're just making all the other parents feel better that someone else misses things too. And you're making it easier for your kid's teacher to pick your kid out of a crowd. Good times all around.
• 
  
• Would you count the tomato sauce on a slice of Sbarro's pizza as a serving of fruit or vegetable? Because I was leaning toward vegetable but I don't want to anger the fruit party.
• Tomato. Tomahto.
  

Speaking of 19th Century Novels...

Take the Quiz here!

I've always found Elinor Dashwood to be a perfectly lovely woman. And she always looks like E.T., in my mind. Could be because I saw the movie before reading the book.

So. Which Austen heroine are you?

Thanks so much, Erika, for sharing. I love these quizzes.

And Now For An Inflammatory Post

Actually, I meant "anti-inflammatory". But whatever.

Surely I can't be the only one considering aching joints these days. If so, well then move right along. This post is not for you.

The following has to do with dietary practices to help reduce inflammation. Which should help alleviate soreness and joint stiffness. Which would help the (above-) average arthritis suffer to suffer less. Good idea, no?

The Arthritis Foundation puts out a magazine every couple of months that shares arthritis-related studies and research that may be helpful to its readership (that's me). This last installment featured several useful pieces of information, of which I will be sharing two or three with y'all. Good stuff.

Before I begin, let me just state that the information shared is based on scientifically conducted studies by scientists, who are not me, and I do paraphrase. If you'd like real references, please follow the links and then follow those links. You will see the words "may" and "might" because these people are cautious and also because they want to cover their hienders against lawsuits.

Also, please understand that I'm not recommending the replacement of medicines, only the addition of good dietary habits. They can work in tandem. (I would never stop taking my meds. They make me feel good, why would I do that?!)

Now, on to the helpful interesting stuff:

• An apple a day really is good for you. See here:

"Apples also may help fight inflammation. They lower levels of CRP – a marker of inflammation that can spike during a rheumatoid arthritis flare – according to a review of data from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey, a government database. And you don’t even have to take the time to slice an apple: Along with those who ate apples, people who ate applesauce or drank apple juice tended to have lower blood pressure and a smaller waistline than those who didn’t consume apples."

• Higher amounts of fiber = better for you:

"Fiber is good for the heart, may prevent some cancers and now appears to lower C-reactive protein (CRP), an indicator of inflammation found in the blood. A high CRP level signals general inflammation and could indicate anything from an infection to rheumatoid arthritis to heart disease."

Also, the tested amount of fiber was 27-28gm/day. Just so you know. Side note: there are many things that amaze and delight me about my mom. One of them happens to be that she is the Fiber Queen. She includes more fiber in her diet (30g for breakfast) than anyone I know. She is Awesome. And she doesn't have arthritis. Coincidence?

• Probiotics = happy digestion. Probiotics being the good bacteria in your digestive tract. Not really inflammatory-related but interesting, nonetheless. I'm always interested in keeping my GI tract happy and healthy.
  

• Green tea: a natural medication? Inquiring minds are working on this one. It looks like including green tea in the diet may help to reduce the effects of RA. How nice would that be? Very. I know how my biologic drugs have helped, which is to say SO MUCH. Having a natural addition to that may very well put me into running marathons. You never know. (Actually I do know -I hate running, even before RA.) Maybe I could do a bike race with Burton. We shall see.

What about the WoW, you may ask? To that I say, indeed. I follow the word of wisdom and I also want to take care of my body. If green tea will improve my body's ability to function, then I will drink it. Methotrexate is a drug used for abortion -I have no qualms taking it. If you have a compelling argument to the contrary please let me know. (I'm not saying it's impossible, I just haven't thought of one I would accept.)

Okay. Now what I want to know is, how soon can I expect to see the benefits of my good habits?. I ate a FiberOne bar for breakfast washed it down w/ a DanActive drinkable yogurt. Then I had a cup of green tea (which tastes like essence of grass -eww). I will be eating two small gala apples with my lunch.

So. I should be running circles around Grace by dinner. Right, guys? Guys?

Things I've Learned in PA II

• Red-up - means to tidy up, to do a quick cleaning before guests arrive. Not to be confused with deep cleaning or Spring cleaning.
• Run the Sweeper -same as to vacuum
  
• Chipped-ham BBQ -traditional food to be eaten while watching a Steelers' game
• Ham Pot Pie -surprisingly is not a pie but whoa, it is good, homemade noodles included
  

Just so you know.

Anyone Can Be President?

I don't accept the notion that having a president you'd want as a bar-buddy is a good idea. If s/he's really intelligent, has a good range of life experiences, great ideas and means to get them done -well, I imagine s/he would be interesting as a dinner companion. And that's great.

However, if our first criteria for president is that s/he be just like (the collective) us -we totally deserve what we get. Which in my mind, is a country at war and a failing economy. Oh wait.

I'd like a president who is willing to talk to my higher instincts rather than "meet me at my level". I'd like the president to see the big picture of our country's needs. I'd also like to know that s/he can get members of both parties to work together for the profit of The People. I'd also like to know that the president can play nice on a global scale.

Given all these high-minded ideas, is there a candidate to satisfy?

A friend of mine, K., gave me an article from the Parade (in the Sunday edition of the paper). The article is written by Doris Kearns Goodwin, entitled, "The Secrets of America's Great Presidents". It's a look at what qualities are important in a president, using Abraham Lincoln and Franklin Roosevelt as examples. It's an excellent article and I would encourage anyone who has access to this week's Parade to look it up.

Just in case you don't get the Sunday paper (I don't), the main points are listed below. An American President should have:

1. The courage to stay strong -A.L.'s rise above poverty, FDR's rise above paralysis
   
2. Self-confidence -both former presidents chose for their cabinets people who disagreed with them politically and vocally, so as to have all sides represented and the best ideas put forward
   
3. An ability to learn from errors -both presidents admitted errors and changed policies as needed
   
4. A willingness to change -see #3
   
5. Emotional intelligence -A.L. "shared successes and shouldered public blame for failures from subordinates"; FDR was able to encourage others to rise to their potential, to do their jobs well
   
6. Self control -A.L. would write "hot letters" when angered by someone else and then set it aside to deal with the issue calmly. He would apologize for offenses given; FDR was noted for his calm under calamity, reasoning over the next steps to be taken
   
7. A popular touch -both presidents made themselves aware of what everyday citizens needed and expected from their governments, they were accessible (as much as possible) to their country-people.
   
8. A moral compass -A.L. refused to give up on emancipation; FDR chose to support England against Hitler; both because they felt it was the right choice
   
9. A capacity to relax -FDR would host a cocktail hour in the evening with a strict no business policy; A.L. was known for his sense of humor and long-winded tales
   
10. A gift for inspiring others -both presidents were able to "convey their convictions with stories and metaphors, as well as a profound sense of history and a love of poetry and drama."

Marvelous, I know. Again, Doris Kearns Goodwin is the author and the whole article is worth reading.

Anywho, I feel inspired to go look closely at both candidates and make a choice.

Yes, I Can

Okay. I've thought long and hard about this. I was never going to touch politics on this blog. (edited to add: that's not entirely true. It was always in the back of my mind. I just didn't think I'd really do it.) However, a line has been crossed and now I'm mad. SO, knowing that the following may or may not jive with your personal view of all things political; read at your own risk.

I wanted to write a post about a person who shall not now be named (rhymes with "tail'in) -I don't want to add to her attention grab. I am sick of her assertions of things that are twisted truths (one might also assert, outright lies).

Perhaps I should give her the benefit of the doubt -ignorance regarding the facts, unfamiliarity with the issues, whatever. Given that this is an election year and she is actually on the freakin' ticket, not so much.*

The aformentioned "twisted truths" are various and sundry statements made regarding Obama, assertions about McCain's character (it's true, there's no love lost there, but still) and her own political leanings. Also, taking earmarked money for something, saying 'no thanks', keeping that money anyway and using it for something else does not equal change or mavrick-ness, or anything other than outright dishonesty and shadiness. I'm just saying.

In an effort to remain more positive (because that's what I do), I shall instead provide for you the facts as they stand on one specific issue: Obama's tax plan. Decide for yourself, but please use correct information.

Obama's Comprehensive Tax Policy Plan for America will:

• Cut taxes for 95 percent of workers and their families with a tax cut of $500 for workers or $1,000 for working couples.
• Provide generous tax cuts for low- and middle-income seniors, homeowners, the uninsured, and families sending a child to college or looking to save and accumulate wealth.
• Eliminate capital gains taxes for small businesses, cut corporate taxes for firms that invest and create jobs in the United States, and provide tax credits to reduce the cost of healthcare and to reward investments in innovation.
• Dramatically simplify taxes by consolidating existing tax credits, eliminating the need for millions of senior citizens to file tax forms, and enabling as many as 40 million middle-class Americans to do their own taxes in less than five minutes without an accountant.

Obama Factsheet
Key Facts about Obama and Taxes
Information courtesy of Jill Gochanour (HarrisburgPAforObama)

Other areas in which I agree with Obama:

• free agency
• individual responsibility to our country
• individual responsibility to our communities (community organizers, anyone?)
  
• belief in the need for real change
• speaking well is not a sign of the devil -it just means you can speak well and have a good command of the English Language (albeit, not necessarily the Queen's English)
  

For any other questions, please seek the following websites:
Obama -granted, if you live in UT, it doesn't really matter who you like, but tell your friends anyway
McCain -I will say this, his menu page should be very stirring to LDS. ("Called To Serve, anyone?")

Also, feel free to email if you feel the need to set me straight.

*and please know that I realize both sides are trying to look better than the other guy. I'm just more inclined toward the other, other guy.

Things I've learned in PA

Did you know that black and red, when worn together, are "ho" colors? Me neither. But now we all know. Be sure to dress accordingly. (Unfortunate, really, because I love pairing red earrings with an all black outfit.) Perhaps I've been sending the wrong message all these years.

Maybe there are loop-holes to this rule. Anyone?

Also, to anyone who has known of this rule and didn't set me straight, "I thought friends never let friends go out looking like a street walker?!" Where's the love?

My Own Personal Ebert and Roper

Alternately titled: I hear voices.

I've been told that we are each our own worst critic. I sincerely hope so. My inner critic is usually pretty brutal. I have to justify and explain my every action -to MYSELF. Except that the voice of my inner critic usually takes the form of characters from the books I read. And many times the male characters. Hmm. What does that say about me? My need for approval from guys? Something terrible, I'm sure. But let's talk about that another time.

Every waking moment of my life (and some times in my dreams) I'm justifying my actions. Answering to the critic in my head, "I did this because...", "I chose that because...". It's tiring and yet it's very hard for me to not do it. The need to explain or offer apologia (correct use?) seems to be a basic component of my make-up. Maybe someone should research that.

I can't really say when I started doing this 24/7. I don't think I always did. Perhaps it started in part because there have always been so many things I've wanted to do or be: a good singer, a dancer, concert pianist, actress, model, rocket scientist, English Lit professor, a super hero (think Wonder Woman -complete with looking hot in hot pants and go-go boots). So Many Things. When the impossibility of most of those things crashed down around me, perhaps I had to think of reasons why.

When a boy I had a crush on didn't notice me -I needed to know why. When someone was mean at school -again, why? And so began my constant search for, and answer to, my own questions. I guess at some point those questions took more of an inward bent. So now I still wonder why people do the things they do (and incidentally experience more outrage and self-righteous indignation when I disagree) but I'm far more critical of my own "what for's".

Which is odd because, as irritating as this is to others, I also think I'm a perfectly nice person and who wouldn't love me. Really. I generally expect that people will like me and they usually do. At the same time, however, I'm always afraid of offending or disappointing. Weird. Conflicted much?

Anywho, back to the inner critic. I have a constant stream of dialog in my head of what I'm doing and why and, more tiring, what I'm NOT doing and why. Doing the dishes but leaving the stove-top messy. Sweeping but not mopping. Straightening but not vacuuming. Getting up early to exercise but not for long enough OR eating the calories I burned off. Wearing make-up or being natural -wanting to be natural but not loving the look. Making Grace's lunch but only including a vegetable rather than both fruit and veg. Passing my classes but just barely. Graduating but with no minor. Ad nauseum.

And then there's the inner critic comparing me to the characters that I read about. Not brave enough, not strong enough, not born in the right era, not not not. But, given that I think I'm great, I'm constantly arguing back. Yes I am, yes I am. I'm always trying to tell myself that I'm okay as I am. What I do, whatever I do, is enough and it's fine.

Sometimes my happy voice wins out and sometimes it doesn't. When it doesn't I tend to want to avoid people. One less voice to answer to. If that makes sense. This is probably another reason why I don't like talking on the phone. (actually, I'm always looking for excuses for that one. I just don't. That's why.)

It's tiring never being alone in my own head.

What do you struggle with?

Chasing The Dragon

Reading a novel is sometimes like sex.

And begin.

In my current world, there are two types of books: books that are satisfying and books that are not. Things were not always thus. It has just recently (read: last year or so) come to be. And due to the aforementioned summary I will also say this: there is only one type of sex: that of the satisfying nature. In case there were any questions. Oh and also, I am promiscuous with my books only. Fidelity in marriage (or whatever the appropriate wording is).

My reading process is as follows:

1. Hear/read of a new book; anticipation starts

2. Search for the book; mounting anticipation and excitement

3. Obtain said book and begin; experience joy of reading and excitement as the plot unfolds and the characters are revealed

4. Halfway through the book, I am feeling (if it is):

a) Very good — twinge of sadness that it’s already half over, slight wish to prolong the inevitable finishing and yet unable to slow down, still happy, still excited

b) not so good — hope that it will get better, desire to start skimming for the good stuff, annoyance at that thought, determination to see it through (which wins out in 75% of the cases)

c) terrible — I’ve been skimming since the second chapter in the hope of finding something redeeming (in which case I would start the book over and re-read — this rarely happens), at the half-way mark and it’s still no good. I skip whole chapters as I’m skimming, in a hurry to get it over with and be done, (Note: I still take credit for having read the book because I at least can discuss what I don’t like about it and technically I have experienced the book, albeit not as the author intended or would have hoped (that’s the authors fault, y’all; s/he should have written a better book)

5. Five pages from the ending:

a) very good books — well, let’s just say I’m torn between HUGE excitement to know how it ends and a tiny bit of sadness and regret that it’s nearly over (which continues to grow the closer I get to the end)

b) Not so good — at this point I know if the books falls into either a) or c)

c) terrible — I’ve already skipped to the last page and read it thoroughly to see if I missed something profound about the plot (unlikely — but I will plan to talk to J about it, just in case he’s read it and can tell me what really happened and what his opinion is. These days he hasn’t read most of what I’m reading because he’s not interested, which means the book really does stink. It used to be that we were more in sync and a good discussion would ensue.) HUGE regret that I’ve wasted time on this book — I can’t actually remember the last time this happened, Maudie Jane or J can you help me out there?

6. Finish the book, YES! So great, revel in the joy of a good book, pause to relive the highlights, consider re-reading it immediately, flip through it for my favorite parts, mull it over for a few days, consider waking J up to talk about it (even if he hasn’t read the book he is all too happy to hear about it and discuss the topics it has brought up. See why I love this man?!)

Most (the good parts) of this process reminds me of something…wait for it…oh yeah…sex.

So, you can see there would be a problem if most of the books I’m reading lately are not satisfying. I’m accustomed to being satisfied.

I read a good, even great book, and still I feel like it shouldn’t be over yet. I’m left wanting. A little part of me dies (or doesn’t, if you’re still with me) inside. (No, I’m kidding, but it made me laugh to write it).

So. Being me and being married to my own personal book guru, I talked to J. Why am I not satisfied with my books?!! (Yes, I totally wailed. And cried a little bit, too. I’m way too invested in my book experience.) Why am I not happy when I finish a book I enjoyed?!

And thus began the conversation in which we talked about brain candy and reader-involvement and depth and great writing. J’s theory, which I agree with, is that I don’t have to invest much in what I read and I’m only getting out of a book what I’m really putting into it.

True. Even books that leave me devastated and sad, if they are well written, will also make me feel satisfied. Like I accomplished something by reading it or learned something or grew.

Good examples of this are: Blindness –devastatingly beautiful
The Brothers K –same
King Lear

Many of the books I’ve chosen this year give me everything I need to know on a platter. I don’t have to search for anything or stretch within my own experience to relate. I finish a book the same person I was when I started. Entertained? Yes. Satisfied? Not so much.

Admittedly, the stretching and learning/growth is not always what I want. Sometimes it’s too much. When we lived in UT, there was a period when I read Schindler’s List, Angela’s Ashes and The Brothers Karamazov all within a short period of time. By the time I started Crime and Punishment I was overwhelmed. Words were exchanged. There were tears (on my part). A book was thrown. Yes, it’s true — don’t judge me — it was a rough couple of months.

After that, the reading of those types of books has been more interspersed with lighter reading. Then, as my life has seemed more complex, sometimes even hard (okay, don’t laugh, but sometimes my life seems hard. Hey –no laughing), brain candy books is about all I can handle. So really, they do serve an important purpose.

The summer that J and G spent in Idaho is a good example. I missed them and didn’t want the complication of heavy reading. Also, I love reading about Regency England and I love a good romance and I found a whole slew of books by the same author to hold me over until my Sweetie came back to me. For decency’s sake I threw in a couple of Jane Austen’s. That way if anyone asked what I had read lately I could tell them without blushing. Oh, and I love Jane Austen. There’s always that.

Side note. Let me tell you what’s embarrassing: covering your book jacket with a homemade paper-bag book cover. Not to protect the binding but to protect yourself from having to see the cover. Yeah. Not a shining moment in my personal history. Also, I hate when books have pictures of people on the cover. I want to decide what the characters look like — not depend on some book-cover-design-artist (sorry if that’s what you do –but listen to the people, just leave the cover blank excepting the title. If a book is good enough, you don’t need to wow the audience with shiny pictures). If I want to see pictures in a book then I will buy a picture book. End rant.

For awhile, I have been able to content myself with what I consider crossover books: young adult and older-children books. Books that have great stories, are well told, books that don’t just tear your guts out and ask you to examine them. However, being as this is a newer area of focus for me, there is a lot of uncovered ground. And sometimes in the covering of ground, one is likely to step in a cow-pie or two. Or maybe just a puddle.

Actually, that makes it sound like I hate the books I’ve been reading. Not so. This is just the resentment talking.

I have gotten so fully away from those books, as previously mentioned, that I didn’t even know where to start. I mean, Jane Austen only wrote six books, Jane Eyre has no sequel and Blindness can only be seen so many times. I know there are many more classics and master authors out there but, again with the over-whelming-ness of it all. Because the other part of the problem is getting my heart in the right place and my mind aligned to something deeper. I have to be Ready.

Which is J’s cue to step in and say, “Why don’t you try…?” Lovely man. Offering me a novel I can get invested in, think about, discuss and love.

And maybe even take to dinner…

The Gracestress Starts Third Grade

That's right, y'all, THIRD GRADE. Once again, the proud parents showcase (can I use that word?) their lovely daughter:


(Special thanks to Kate and Maddie for shrinking their new dress so that Grace might have it. She's a huge fan.)

But first, let us read a book. A little warm up for the big day.

(Thank you, Grandma Natalie!)

All Too Brief and Not Nearly Enough Pictures

Once again, I'm going to start off with apologies and excuses -because that's how we roll around here. What?!

Firstly, I'm very sad to say that I didn't get to see all my friends and lovelies on this trip. Not enough time and I couldn't stop being tired -always. Weird. But, anyhow I wish I could have seen so many more people.

Secondly, I didn't take nearly enough pictures. Upon reviewing my pictures, it turns out I didn't get any of Moddy and missed a lot of cousins. I'm going to take the positive view on this and just be happy I remembered the camera at all -since it's a long standing Holmes' tradition to forget it in the first place.

Now for the pics.

Cafe Rio, post Temple trip:


Meeting the lovely and oh so sweet Natalie (who we LOVE):


Grace and Lo in the sandbox:


Family Dinner(s)*:

*there were actually many more of these pics but as they involve people eating and I want to remain friends with said people they shall remain unseen

Cute Cousins (yes -there are way more cute cousins than I have pictures -I'm working with what I have):



Cute Justin take us to the airport (thanks, Justin):


Suddenly, my font appears bold and large. I don't know why and can't fix it. Just know that I'm not, in fact, shouting or trying for the dramatic. No special emphasis intended (that I know of -perhaps my computer knows something I don't?).

Playing Make-Believe

On the Farm:


At the Grocer:


Making the News:


Building Stuff:


Picnicking: Theatrics:


Going Places:


Thanks to the SLC Children's Museum (and, of course, Michele and Regan) for a delightful day.