It's important to me that you understand that I can be a mean person. Why? Just because. Maybe so you all will have lowered expectations and then when I do something nice you will be pleasantly surprised. There's just too much pressure in being known as a "nice person."
Sometimes I'm not nice!
I've done some mean things in my life. For some reason, they always come back to haunt me at night or when I slow down (metaphorically speaking) for too long. Naturally, I try to keep busy.
I HATE having my meanness come back to haunt me! Doesn't everyone? Sometimes I wonder if anyone else has been as mean as I have. Any of the really nice people I know (I mean you), who I think are wonderful — have you been mean, ever? Probably not.
If the truth be told (and it is, right here), many of the mean things I have done involved boys*. It just seems a more grievous sin to be mean to my own sex**. Don't we have it hard enough already? Unequal pay, subordination and then meanness from other women?! No. It is too much. We have to stick together, ladies.
We already have the built-in fights: college or not, married or not, kids or not, more-than-one or not, stay-at-home or not, preside or not, breast-feed or not, SO MANY THINGS. To borrow a phrase from the beloved Lola, we should be lovers, not haters.
This post has evolved into something I had not anticipated. Really, I was planning to confess all my meannesses and have done with it. Instead I want to ask, why can't we be friends?
No, really.
Women of the world, why can't we be friends? What gets in the way of us accepting each other? Beside the whole issue of not everyone will like us, individually. What is the reason that we can't decide to accept all women as they are? (Whether or not they accept us.)
Okay, turning the pointer back to myself: what's stopping me? I think firstly I'll need to tone down my sense of outrage and self-righteous indignation. That's going to be a tough one. I really enjoy the outrage.
Next... actually, that first one is a doozy. I'm going to work on that for now. Less outrage, here I come.
*Since writing this sentence ten minutes ago, I have been reminded of the many women/girls I have been mean to. In my defense, growing up with more sisters in the house than brothers puts one at a disadvantage when the meanness points get tallied. I'm just saying....
**Upon further reflection, if the above is not is not accurate (I have been mean to women and men equally), then I guess I'm an equal-opportunity-mean-distributor. Whoa. Watch out.
4 comments:
i'll tell you a secret. but you have to swear not to tell anyone else. promise? ok. i'm mean, too. shhhhh!!! i'm often described as sweet and i just don't get it. i'm really am mean.
glad i'm in good company.
but seriously, what's with the women on women hatin? i don' like it.
On my mother's side of the family I am the oldest granddaughter. As some of my girl cousins grew up and got into their "sassy" teenage stage, their parents would just blame it on me and say they were taking after their cousin Megan. Nice. I really was quite a little snot when I was growing up, but didn't realize it until after high school, and have since become much nicer. I have learned I am happier when I am nice. But sometimes, it just feels good to be downright mean. :)
I'm sure the boys deserved it. :) Even if they didn't, getting kicked-to-the-curb is an important maturity milestone and growth opportunity for boys. Ask Alaska about being mean to boys.
I love the idea of being kinder to women--especially since we do have some other big things working against us. That's why my phone ring when you call is Dar William's "I Will Not Be Afraid of Women". It is very Kittish. You should definitely listen to it sometime! It is the perfect theme music to this post. :)
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