So in passing yesterday, Grace says, "Bryce is the class bully. He says means things to my friends sometimes. And, I don't like it when he pats my bottom."
Yeah. Pats. Her. Bottom. Oh my gosh! Hello? This is so much a problem. He can't do that. I explained to Grace, again, about boundaries and telling people (even her friends) "no". I also sent an email to her teacher. The other time this was a problem, her teacher was right on it.
I'm not thinking it's anything sexual but it is totally inappropriate. He has a sister and probably he's just messing around, but still. Kids at school are not family members, this needs to be understood. I mean, as kids we would fight, but I don't remember that ever translating to the classroom.
I don't think I even heard the word "boundaries" in terms of personal space (didn't hear that word either) until college. But now that I'm familiar with it -it's very important. "Boundaries" are also easier for me to explain to Grace. She gets that there are lines (real or imagined) that shouldn't be crossed. Or at least, that's what I tell myself.
Anywho, that's what's happening in my world right now.
4 comments:
Okay, I think you are really handing this well. I think I would be storming the school so good for you there. Grace is so rad, she is such a mellow girl, I know she can be a bit crazy but it seem that compared with other kids her age she is fairly even tempered.
Let me know what the teacher does, I remember getting in trouble for kicking (I can’t remember it could have been biting) a kid who snapped by bra. I know, that tells you how old I was at the time, fifth or sixth grade I think.
Okay, I can't believe this site, both of you as twilight fans must check this out. Here is the address for the main site and the one below is for the movie stalking photos, and yes your read that right.
http://twilightmomsforums.freeforums.org/index.php
http://twilightmomsforums.freeforums.org/pics-on-location-t2481.html
This is a site dedicated to moms how love twilight and are pretty much stalking the movie as it is being filmed. Wow, and I thought I was a fan, I have been put to shame, so much shame.
Maudie Jane is right, you are handling it really well. I would be freaking out also. I try really hard to talk to PJ calmly and ask questions about how his day was, what happened, but there are times that my inner-mom wants to rip someones head off. Last week some older kid pushed him into the mud, he came home pretty well covered. I asked him if he told anyone, and he said no. Inside I was so mad, and I wanted him to stand up for himself and not allow someone to treat him like that. But I also don't want him to be the one flying off the handle at every little thing. I so want to be with him at school watch all his interactions with the other kids to make sure he is safe.
not sure if any of that made sense, but this whole thing of him being at school all day and me not knowing who he is interacting with is really hard for me. And yes, I'm a control freak!
And Maudie Jane, I read a few of the comments on that site, scary!!! These are grown women???
Okay the Mr. and I were talking about this last night. This is something that we've spent quite a bit of time talking about for the last few years (between and and also with the kids). How do you talk to your kids about good vs bad touching, stranger danger, etc. I want to rush in and tell them everything that could possibly happen to them if they aren't carfeul and stay right with me, preferrable that they are holding my hand. (okay I wouldn't really tell them EVERYTHING, but you know) I want them to be cautious when we are out in public, but I don't want them to be afraid to go out in public. But my problem is that my kids are so dang friendly and busy. They don't want to stay right next to me, they want to talk to everyone.
How do you deal with your anxiety about all this stuff with you kids?
I got an email back from Grace's teacher expressing her shock and resolve to take care of it immediately. The whole class will have a small lesson on personal space and the inappropriateness of touching or poking others. She will also be pulling the little boy aside and tell him specifically what she knows and that he has to stop.
I've talked to Grace many times before this about her body being her own and not letting others (friends or adults) touch her private areas. I've also told her even with other things like hugs or what-not, she need never feel like she has to do that. When we see old friends or family I never insist that she give hugs that she is not ready to give.
We have also talked about appropriate behavior with boys that she likes (ie no kissing -yes it has come up with her other friends- that a hug or doing nice things is more appropriate for this age.) We've talked a lot about just being friends and not worrying about who is cutest or pairing off. I'm sure this is a conversation we will revisit many times over.
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