Grace arrived with many wonderful qualities. She is very generous in nature, giving of herself and her possessions. She is sensitive to the feelings of those around her. She wants to be helpful and involved. Grace loves family relationships. She wants to love each family member she meets and know them and be known by them. And sing a song about it. In the car or the shower. Really.
But the things I want to instill in her are also many. I feel a lot of stress and pressure to provide Grace with confidence and self-assurance. I want her to be ambitious and also a team player. I want her to be a hard worker and not mind doing what needs to be done. (But lets be honest, I don't always want to do what needs to be done, so really, it's a tall order.) Is it so wrong for me to want her to be better than me? She's already going to be taller.
I want her to understand who God is (to the extent that anyone can) and know that she is known to him. I want her to talk to God and ask him questions. I want her to understand. And so many more things.
Some things I have not had to "give" Grace. She has picked them up on her own. From me. You know those moments when you think, "Yep, payback. I so earned this at the age of 11 when...". The stubbornness - and with it the passive aggressive "I'll do it and pretend I didn't know better". The need to argue or present the other side to everything. On a nicer note, Grace also inherited my tendency to laugh hysterically at anything remotely funny that happens after 9pm at night. I like to think I've helped to influence her sense of style. She calls it the "fashion girl" look. I call it fabulous.
Of course, there is also the things I want to give Grace: every good book I can find, tell her every great story out there, super comfortable shoes aplenty, fun hair stuff, fabulous clothes, educational and exciting family vacations, siblings to grow old with, a college fund, tons of good music, piano lessons, or guitar -I'm not picky, anything else I can think of. Oh, and I also want her to not be spoiled. That's not too much, right? Right??
What things do you feel compelled to give to your child(ren)? What things do you specifically want them to have and experience?
5 comments:
I don't know that I am even aware of all the things that I want Josh and Jane to learn from me (or not learn from me). I guess I want them to succeed at whatever makes them happy and I hope that what they choose to do with their lives refines them into better people and helps others around them.
I want them to understand love and what real love is. I want them to see that love takes many forms, hard work, patience, understanding, respect. I want them to know themselves and God and to know that their worth is not defined by others. I want them to see that wining is great but not everything, that they will learn so much from their mistakes.
I know that Scott and I can't give them all that we want them to be, I guess mostly I want them to choose happiness no matter what life hands out. I think I am rambling or in very serious danger of sounding like a precious moment’s card so I am going to shut up.
Hi guys,
I finally found you and have spent a delightful hour (when I should have been cleaning up the messy house---leaving four children at home alone for the weekend=a big mess!) reading your highly entertaining blogs.
I only have time to respond to one now, so I chose Kitti's worry about being a mean mom for making Grace pay for part of the clothes she took the tags off of.
If you're mean, then Dixon and I are child abusers or something. In the past year, Spencer has had to pay us over $1500.00---and he's done it. And heck no, I don't feel a bit guilty about making him hand over his hard-earned paycheck from Arby's. It was our hard-earned cash first, and he wasted it on things like a visit to the ER (long story; don't ask, but it was something dumb he did) and a couple of broken retainers.
Carissa isn't following too far behind. Just last week she spilled a drink all over my hardcover copy of New Moon. "That's going to cost you at least $20.00 to replace," I told her.
For whatever reason, our two oldest kids have had a difficult time grasping the concept of taking care of things and being careful with our resources. I buy them nice, new clothes and they paint in them. The next time they need something, I take them to DI. They lose their stuff; they ruin their stuff---all the time! Makes us crazy.
It's our hope that by charging them for such carelessness, that maybe someday the value of money and taking care of what you've got will click in.
Here's hoping.
I've been thinking alot about this subject after reading your post. And while there are lots of things that I want my kids to learn from me, all I can think about it what I wish they hadn't learned (or inherited). Like Miss Magoo and her temper, whoa Nellie can that girl throw a temper tanturm!!!
And her stubborness, she's got me beat hands down, yes I'm sure that mom is laughing greatly over that one. And PJ, his love of the argument??? Now where did he get that! And his curious nature, the questions this kid can ask in such a short period of time, my hair doesn't naturally stand on end. Once I told him that maybe he'd better save a few of his questions for later so he wouldn't run out, his reply "don't worry mom I'll never run out of questions" Four years later I'm inclined to agree.
Sorry, can you tell that it's spring break week? Maybe next week I can answer the rest of the question.
Yay, Michelle! Welcome and another congratulations on the Whitney!
Thank you for the validation and the humor. I hold you and Dixon as Model Parents, so if you're doing it, it must be good. Seriously.
We'll be working on the "money is worth something and often hard to come by" lesson with Grace for awhile, I'm sure. Oh well, she's young.
Oh and Moddy. I hope things get better once school is back on again. So sorry for the frazzles.
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