I bought Grace a white t-shirt and sweater, on sale, at Macy's (the clothing store -not the grocery store) on Monday. I left them in a bag, along with several other items, in Grace's room. With the instructions: do not take anything out of the bag until I "okay" it. Yes? Okay, Mom. On Tuesday, I found similar items at Walmart for $8 less. My intent was to return the Macy's stuff and keep the Walmart stuff. Great. Fine.
However, Tuesday, whilst I was off bargain-hunting, Grace pulled out the white t-shirt and sweater and wore them. All. Day. I was so annoyed. No returns to Macy's. I did return stuff to Walmart - no need for both sets. I'm making her pay me back a few dollars for not obeying a direct order. And for thwarting my great bargain-hunting prowess. Right?? Right??
What I'm wondering is, have I gone to far? I was telling a friend at work and she made the comment that it's funny I got so mad when the day before I was so happy to have found a good deal. True. Now I'm feeling guilty for making Grace pay me back for the money I didn't save. It's not like she asked for the clothes to begin with or that she ever pays for her own clothes.
However, I feel like now that I've talked to her about it I can't go back and change my mind ("sorry, Grace, I'm a stingy bast***. You don't owe me money anymore") Also, she doesn't have any money so I've very kindly allowed her to do extra work around the house (ie. clean the bathroom and help with laundry) instead. Stuff that she was going to have to help with anyway, now, however, I have a ready reason for *why* she has to help**.
**Yes- I realize that all children should be helping around the house without being paid. Her regular duties include emptying the dishwasher and taking our the trash and recycling. I reserve cleaning the bathroom as a way for her to "earn" money when there's something she HAS to have but I'm not willing to buy outright for her (ie, the candy at blockbust -no way am I spending good money on crappy candy at a store where only MOVIES should reside -it's all old candy anyway)
Basically, I'm feeling like a jerk. So come on everyone, tell me I'm not. Or take Grace's side. Whatever.
4 comments:
Nope, you’re not a jerk. I think it was really smart to have Grace understand the consequence of not listening to you. I wish I was that inventive. I think that it shows her that a dollar is worth something and that she needs to listen. I think she is old enough for that kind of lesson. So good for you, sorry Grace.
I don't know, it seems that children (I don't necessarily mean Grace) don't understand the direct consequences of their actions and it is okay to show them that if this happens then this follows, especially with money. I think it will be hard for me to teach those lessons because I am so aware of growing up with out. Though others in our family will disagree with that.
I know that I won’t want my kids to be without the things I never had but I think that is so important for kids to understand empathy, hard work and how to do without.
Okay maybe I am just rambling here.
I think that it's good for Grace to learn to listen, it's not as if she's 3 or 4. I would totally expect PJ to have listened. And we make him do extra chores to earn money for extra things that he wants.
We do also have him do regular chores, at least they are regular when I remember to have him do them.
But I can understand what Maudie Jane is talking about also. There have been times that I totally over bought for the kids. I want them to get the whole "how to work hard, and not just expect things to be handed to them".
But there are times that I still want to give them stuff they totally don't need and could totally live without, so I guess I need to work on my "issues" some more.
Are you too mean?
Are you kidding me? Not only no.
Hell, no.
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