Edited to add: I feel like I'm written these same words or ideas before but couldn't find the post I thought I'd written. I'm going to sum up. Then if you've heard it all before or haven't but really don't want to waste your time, please go to another blog. Maybe I should always do this -summarize my posts. Nah.
In summary - I like new things....blah, blah, blah....there must be something wrong with me....blah, blah, blah....what things do you like?
And so.
I love to get my hair cut and highlighted*. I'm not as blond as I used to/want to be anymore. I do mean that literally, not figuratively, so stop smirking all you blond-teasers. Because I want, therefore I should.
I tell my self I need to have my hair done as often as I need to. I deserve it, why shouldn't I have hair that I like? This is after I tell myself that cute/trendy shoes aren't so great anyway and it's not that big a deal if I'll never be as tall and willowy as other people I know. See where I'm going with this?
I used to do it a lot with food. "I can have whatever I want", "I earned it...", "I'm too tired to cook", "I said 'no' to that other thing I wanted...". I try to keep eating to hunger-related issues these days. (The exception being the time of the plague. And there isn't anyone who can make me feel bad about that. Why yes, pizza does cure cramps. Diet coke with lime totally gets rid of a headache. Why do you ask?)
I would like to think I use food less as a reward now because of my amazing personal insight and acceptance. I no longer need food to make me feel happier/less bored or to distract me. I would believe that, however, I think amazon book sellers everywhere would laugh their heads off. All the way to the bank. And my local Lane Bryant store has seen a fair amount of use over the last few years. Again with the liking to look nice.
Am I compensating? Justifying? Does it matter?
What are your favorite 'must haves' - the things you can do something about? What are the things you want but do not get to have? Things you can not have due to genetics and/or circumstances beyond your control.
My list is long. Here is a sampling: lots of super cute shoes and even shoes with (gasp) heels, red hair (Anne Shirley, anyone?), curly hair, small fingers, endless energy, and so on. There's even a little part of me that wishes I were a long-distance runner.**
There are, of course, the private things that I'd rather not post to the whole world. For that list I would have to refer you to my super-secret, locked-up diary.
And to end on a positive note, I am thankful for lovely big girls writing books about other lovely big girls. Thank you Jennifer Weiner.
I am also thankful for great hair. Natural, bottled, whatever.
*By the way, if you live in the area and don't have a favorite hair person -I do and I'll pass on her name if you email me. Love. Her. She's also very affordable and a great friend.
**If you're wondering why running is impossible for me I would refer you to my awesome post about what it was like to develop rhuematoid arthritis at age 18. Unfortunately, I haven't written it yet and I feel my readership^* should only have to put up with a certain amount of 'poor me' so it will not be getting written.
^*Isn't it sweet how I assume I have a readership? Bless my little heart.
9 comments:
i really wish that i had endless energy too...there are just so many things i think i would most definitely be good at, if only i didn't have to sleep. so much. if i have any guilt (and i try not to), it's about pooping out too early when there's so much more to do.
another physical trait i'd love to have: more eyebrow. i need something to work with. as it is, if i pluck they all but disappear.
finally, and by far most importantly, i wish i were a rock star. singer/songwriter/kick-a guitar player. that about sums it up.
Hello, my name is Jamie, and I'm a member of your readership.
What I wish I could have: beautifully-styled, soft-textured hair that I didn't have to wash every day and it would still look clean.
Reality: I go to work most days with wet hair, which either gets thrown up into a bun or braid, or air dries and looks mighty frizzy.
One of these days I keep telling myself that I'll invest in some nice hair products and spend more than ten minutes on styling my hair. I just don't know when that day will come :)
One more thing: laser hair removal for my legs. My legs are long! I get tired of shaving them!
Jamie-laser hair removal is great! It's my new-found friend. I've started with my bikini line, but someday would like to do my pits and legs (it's a little pricey).
Miss Kitti-I just love reading your blog! You are so real, and express yourself so well. I wish that my acne would completely disappear! I mean, come on, I'm 33-when is this going to end?
Sherry Carpet - oooh, I forgot about rock star. Along those lines, I'd like to be Sarah Brightman (sp?). Or like her but not as strange -just the great voice and famous.
Hello Jamie -thanks for reading! Long legs would be awesome. I can deal with the hairy legs but I would love to have a natural tan or the ability to attain one. Alas, me legs two colors are pale and burned.
Erika, I feel totally indignant about the adult acne. It's not right. We did our time in high school, now I want the flawless skin. Do we have that to look forward to with menopause?
Miss Kitti - You have readership. I love reading your blog and you crack me up. Your darling sister is one of my greatest friends and I feel like I have such a better understanding by reading your rants and raves. Keep it up.
I too wish I was a long distance runner. In the movie "what women want" there is a scene between Helen Hunt and Mel, and they are talking about a nike ad where their is a lone woman running, I want to be that woman!
I also want to have smaller twins on top, and yes I know that if I would change my life habits I'd have that, but hey these are my wants!
I want curly hair, think Theresa Hammer curly hair, it always looked great (well until she went pink).
And less freckels (sp???) you know all the brown spots all over my face and arms, yeah and I'd like to be able to spell better, without a dictionary or spell check.
Energy. That's it. That's what I want. Energy. I've been tired since I was twelve.
And then I could just go and get everything else I want.
Kitti, you are the cutest. And I love seeing new pictures of you cause you almost always have a new hairstyle.
I always want to be thinner, so I always want exercise stuff. I have owned: a thigh master, an eliptical machine, a bun and thigh master, an ab roller, tons of different workout videos(my faves are slim in 6) and am currently waiting to pick up a new (used) tredmill on saturday!
I would love to be able to sing, write beautiful music, write a children's novel, run a marathon,be a fantastic clarinet player, etc.
And, I wish I were like those beautiful people who get out of bed, throw their hair up in a fast pony, and look great without having to do anything else with themselves.
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