This Holmes Is Going Home

Pictures in a week.

Favorite Memories Take 1 or This Post is All About Moddy

Hey.

In an effort to be positive and to have something consistently new to write about I am going to post favorite memories of my family members. This ensures two things: 1) positive words and messages, 2) at least ten new posts. (I recently wrote about my dad and I won't be including myself -far too many memories to list, therefore, only ten. That's nine kids plus Mom.)

Moddy's birthday was on Monday. I was totally going to write her age but in the interest of her not killing me (not that age is anything to be ashamed of), she turned 29. Not to mention the fact that she's only two years older than me.

Happy Birthday, Moddy!

Firstly, Moddy keeps me informed and in touch with what's happening with the family. She makes sure everyone is included and knows what's going on. In a family as big as ours, we all need Moddy.

Okay, memories.

Every year, growing up, I looked forward to Christmas shopping with Moddy. We'd wander around the SR Plaza looking for the perfect gifts and trying to hide each other's gifts from the other. Then we'd stop in at Chick-fil-A. Moddy introduced me to the surprisingly wonderful combination that is BBQ and mayo. (I hate mayo, folks, but seriously, this is good) With waffle fries and chicken nuggets. To this day I can't eat those things without having a Christmas/ Moddy memory. Good times.

Also, Moddy was always the designated gift wrapper for Mom. I don't know if she loved it or not but I was always a little envious that she got to know what everyone got. I can't believe she never told or used that knowledge to her advantage. That's probably why she got the job.Totally awesome.

Moddy always has cool friends. She attracts the best people to her. In high school and jr. high, I always wanted to be friends with her friends. Even at EFY, which was like five days, she would make these great friends. I think it's a matter of awesome people attracting other awesome people. And she's still good at keeping in touch with many of them. Which amazes me because I had great friends in school too, but can't seem to keep in touch to save my life.

When Moddy was at TCFKARTIWOECR (the college formerly known as ricks that i will only ever call ricks), I got to visit her for a few days. She was the best hostess ever. It was over or near Easter and she totally made me an Easter Basket. I loved that Easter basket! And I felt very cool getting it from her. Then she took me to my first rodeo ever and even sneaked (spell check tells me this is correct but it seems very wrong to say 'sneaked') me into a COLLEGE DANCE with COLLEGE BOYS. Can I just tell you how excited I was about that?! Very. She knows how to make a little sister proud.

Okay this next one is me being mean to someone else but I still don't like him and I loved that Moddy inadvertently did it so I'm totally going to be mean for a minute. When Moddy first met my boyfriend from high school (yes, I only had one and it was a HUGE MISTAKE) she thought he was his little brother. Sorry Moddy, if you were embarrassed about that at the time but it was so funny, in hind sight. And it's true, he looked like a little kid.

Anyhow, back to Moddy memories. Two other random things that I love about Moddy:

• she was the first to make friends with my brother's wife (then girlfriend) and start hanging out with her. And then she let me hang out, too. Moddy has good taste in friends. We LOVE my brother's wife! (We love all our brothers' wives, this story just happens to be about one)
  
• she knew about me flying in Summer's mom's airplane when I wasn't supposed to and she didn't tell Mom (hi, Mom - sorry about that. I'm sure Grace will pay me back.)
  

Last but not least. In jr. high, Moddy had a pair of blue plaid pants (stop what you're thinking, they were totally cool. So cool, in fact, that when she gave them to me a year later I was very excited about it. I still remember them, that's how cool they were.) When I first arrived as a seventh grader, I loved walking about behind Moddy (a ninth grader) and saying 'hi [Moddy]' as obnoxiously as possible.

So, I'm walking one day and see blue plaid pants and long brown hair (which was totally awesome, btw) and ready myself for the requisite obnoxiousness. Only it turns out, after I've yelled hi, that it's not Moddy at all. It was some other person. Yes. I was very embarrassed. However, she was friends with Moddy, of course, and told her about it. Later that day Moddy assured me it was very funny and not really that embarrassing at all. Thanks Moddy, for making a little seventh grader feel better.

That's all for now with the Moddy-Love. I hope you had an awesome birthday!

New Hair

Edited to add: I feel like I'm written these same words or ideas before but couldn't find the post I thought I'd written. I'm going to sum up. Then if you've heard it all before or haven't but really don't want to waste your time, please go to another blog. Maybe I should always do this -summarize my posts. Nah.

In summary - I like new things....blah, blah, blah....there must be something wrong with me....blah, blah, blah....what things do you like?

And so.

I love to get my hair cut and highlighted*. I'm not as blond as I used to/want to be anymore. I do mean that literally, not figuratively, so stop smirking all you blond-teasers. Because I want, therefore I should.

I tell my self I need to have my hair done as often as I need to. I deserve it, why shouldn't I have hair that I like? This is after I tell myself that cute/trendy shoes aren't so great anyway and it's not that big a deal if I'll never be as tall and willowy as other people I know. See where I'm going with this?

I used to do it a lot with food. "I can have whatever I want", "I earned it...", "I'm too tired to cook", "I said 'no' to that other thing I wanted...". I try to keep eating to hunger-related issues these days. (The exception being the time of the plague. And there isn't anyone who can make me feel bad about that. Why yes, pizza does cure cramps. Diet coke with lime totally gets rid of a headache. Why do you ask?)

I would like to think I use food less as a reward now because of my amazing personal insight and acceptance. I no longer need food to make me feel happier/less bored or to distract me. I would believe that, however, I think amazon book sellers everywhere would laugh their heads off. All the way to the bank. And my local Lane Bryant store has seen a fair amount of use over the last few years. Again with the liking to look nice.

Am I compensating? Justifying? Does it matter?

What are your favorite 'must haves' - the things you can do something about? What are the things you want but do not get to have? Things you can not have due to genetics and/or circumstances beyond your control.

My list is long. Here is a sampling: lots of super cute shoes and even shoes with (gasp) heels, red hair (Anne Shirley, anyone?), curly hair, small fingers, endless energy, and so on. There's even a little part of me that wishes I were a long-distance runner.**

There are, of course, the private things that I'd rather not post to the whole world. For that list I would have to refer you to my super-secret, locked-up diary.

And to end on a positive note, I am thankful for lovely big girls writing books about other lovely big girls. Thank you Jennifer Weiner.

I am also thankful for great hair. Natural, bottled, whatever.



*By the way, if you live in the area and don't have a favorite hair person -I do and I'll pass on her name if you email me. Love. Her. She's also very affordable and a great friend.

**If you're wondering why running is impossible for me I would refer you to my awesome post about what it was like to develop rhuematoid arthritis at age 18. Unfortunately, I haven't written it yet and I feel my readership^* should only have to put up with a certain amount of 'poor me' so it will not be getting written.

^*Isn't it sweet how I assume I have a readership? Bless my little heart.

My Girl Got Baptized!

But first she turned twelve:

wait no, I mean eight:

and had her special breakfast (not in bed, because she woke up before mom and dad. What?! We were tired):
and opened presents


and Justin stared down some butterflies:

and went to an Activity Day Girl's activity (in which they gave her a fun candy bar card):


THEN

Grace got baptized, by her dad, on Saturday at 2pm:

And I gave a talk.



Grace's friend Sadie came with her family. These girls really love each other. Huge thanks to Sadie's dad, Steve, for the beautiful music and to Carrie, for the opening prayer. I gave Grace a choice of who she wanted to do what and she was very definite about this.

Grace with Dane and Josie. Her bestest friends (together with their parents, too) and the longest (but not as long) still in State College with us. Dane gave the best talk on baptism (totally upstaged me), Cass gave the closing prayer and Shawn was one of the ordinance witnesses—Grace was so happy about this. Thanks so much to Shawn and Cass for taking the pictures and passing out programs and giving me props. You guys are awesome! (but you already know that)


Grace had a good couple of days. Justin and I are only mildly exhausted. Our house needs a good cleaning and there is a sweet teddy bear that needs a name. All in all, not too shabby.

Modesty: a re-post

This is a four-year-old post I wrote over on Justin's blog. (also, I think Justin may have helped with the wording because some of it seems more sophisticated) It's a topic I've been thinking about again and rather than reinvent the wheel, I'm going to plagiarize myself. Can I do that? Well, I'm going to.

Behold, a voice from yesteryear:

Lately I've been thinking about what to teach Grace about modesty as she gets older. Right now it's a matter of, "put your shirt down, please don't take your clothes off" (actually these days - 2008- it's 'more about covering her body with sunblock and covering her clothes for painting), but some day I'll need to say more.

I don't like the school of thought that says girls need to dress modestly so they don't cause young men and boys to have impure thoughts. Honestly, they're (men/boys) going to have their own thoughts whether or not a girl is dressed appropriately or not. It also feeds into the cultural norm that girls are responsible for the moral well-being of boys. I totally don't buy that argument. Whatever happened to free agency, or choice and accountability? People are responsible for their own thoughts.

This is what I believe: thoughts about sex and what not are natural and happen with or without provocation. What you do with those thoughts (entertaining them, embellishing and whatnot) is really what can cause problems or not. And that is the responsibility of the individual, not anyone else.

I want to teach Grace to dress and act modestly for her own sake. To show respect to her body because it's her body. I want Grace to love her body and be thankful for what it does for her. I hope I can convey to her that keeping it covered and out of harms way (literally, not metaphorically) is the best way to show self-respect. I don't want her to have issues regarding the right body type or size (although this almost seems like a rite of passage for most girls.)

I also don't buy into the argument that less clothing is more empowering for women. I've been trying to figure out where that comes from and the conclusion I've reached is this: men can get away with wearing less because in theory they have less to cover. Therefore, if women want to be more empowered they should also adopt the social norms for men. The idea that men set the standard for what's right or good really rankles with me. (I should admit here to being a somewhat angry person--something I need to work out.)

It's not that I think men are any less good or righteous than women they just aren't any more so either. There are far better ways of being powerful: taking charge of a situation, being in control of oneself, asserting your feelings and needs, etc. Women dressing less to be more powerful is playing to the lowest common denominator. We can do better (and many already do.)

This is not the point in which I start a bra burning. I would just like Grace to have fewer hang-ups about her body than I did and do. Really, isn't that what every parent wants? For their child to be better prepared, better at everything than they (the parents) are?

One reason I've been thinking about this is that my rules for Grace's church dress has changed. Up until the last year or so, she's been allowed to wear sleeveless dresses to church and church activities. She appears modestly dressed to me so I don't worry about it. I'm also more concerned that her underwear not say crazy things like 'eye candy' and what not. (seriously, right? some of the "little girl" clothing lines are a step away from $2 hooker)

Lately however, it's come to my attention that none of the other girls at church, of Grace's age, wear anything sleeveless. In an effort to avoid comment or Grace's feeling on the 'outs', I've explained to her that she can't wear sleeveless clothing to church anymore. I just put it as 'that's the way it is'. The fact that neither Justin or I wear sleeveless anything helps with this argument -meaning there is no argument. I still buy her sleeveless clothing for play and school. Also, I tend to make a bigger deal about the potential for sunburn than modesty when it comes to clothing choice.

It's hard for me to know which of my feelings are religion inspired, upbringing/parentally inspired, or just plain caving to the popular opinion on church dress standards. How do I sort that out?!

What are your rules (or what will they be/were they)? How do you make distinctions or draw lines? Or do you?

Oh yeah, and today I'm thankful for waffle fries.

Today I'm Thankful For

Girl's Night

We saw Mama Mia. It's true Pierce Brosnan should not ever sing. But, it's Remington Steele and really, I'll forgive a lot from him. Just like with Bruce Willis of Moonlighting fame. Good times. Anywho, the movie was fun and the girls they are great.

Blah, Revisited. And The Whole Issue Of Always Wanting More

Moddy talked about feeling blah not too long ago. Today I would like to say 'me too'. I feel blah. (Actually, I just typed 'blad' -and that really does describe my feeling blah and bad. sigh)

Perhaps I'm just going through the let down of anticipating a book for AGES and then getting to read it and now both the anticipation and the reading are over. I can never go back to the waiting and not knowing again. Poor me. Poor person who got what she wanted the minute it was available. Boohoo. And who even got to read it The Same Day. Again I say, boohoo.

Since Saturday (of The Big Read -that Saturday), I have read: Ever by Gail Carson Levine and The Swan Kingdom by someone else and started Princess Ben by Kathrine Gilbert Murdock. I have put The Wolves ... series and The Dark Is Rising series on my list at the library (thank you, Sherry Carpet).

I'm also expecting the next two Fablehaven books in the mail any day now.* And I plan to pick up several more Artemis Fowl books at the library any day now. And I just learned of the Redwall series (why have I never heard of this before?!?! Grace will love these!!! yelling intended) And. And. And.

Perhaps you are seeing the problem. Always wanting more to read. Always wanting. Always getting. No reason to ever be sad or blah.** And yet. I keep touching on this topic of wanting more and the need to acquire things and then not really discussing.

I don't really know what to say about it. Other than this: People and relationships are more important than things. This is true. Things are fun to have and to get. Also true. I feel that I need to be satisfied with what I have and stop looking to acquire. Yes. But still I continue to acquire. How does one go about stopping that habit? Other than to just stop, which as everyone knows is easier said than done.

Perhaps what I will do is this; I am not going to buy anything for myself today. There. I can do that. I'll try making the same promise tomorrow and the next day. Let you know how it goes. Oh yeah -and I'll think of what I'm thankful for.***


In happier news: The Gracetress turns eight on Friday! She will be baptized on Saturday at 2pm -refreshements to follow. Tacky or not, please consider yourself invited.

We -J and I- even managed to explain that we're not doing a birthday party this year because we want the focus to be on her and being baptized and not let a party get in the way of that. Which is really a topic for another post. The incredible part is that she agreed to it without any drama. I know, right! She is amazing, that lovely child of ours.





*Sorry, Justin - I was going to mention those when they got here. Have I ever mentioned that I have a book-owning addiction? Well I do and I haven't been keeping it very well in hand of late. It's my cheetah destiny. And sorry that you're reading about it here on the blog for the first time. At least it's not a break-up note or something of that sort. You love me.)

**No, I'm not pms'ing or dealing with the plague. In case you were wondering.

*** Blueberries.

The Big Read

If you're super excited for tonight at midnight or tomorrow morning as early as the local bookstore opens, well, me too. If not, then I'm very sorry to have troubled you.

To all those who know what I'm talking about: Wahoo! The day has finally come! (I'm very excited, if you can't tell.)

And let us all get reading and reconvene in a few days time.


Happy Release Day Eve and to all a good night.