I know, right? But it's true, there is a downside. And here it is:
Let us pretend that I'm trying to lose 40lbs. I might start by thinking, "Now, what are the easy calories to cut out of my diet? I could stop with the bar tours or late-night drinking with my friends. Oh wait. I don't drink alcohol. Okay, then. I can stop putting creamer or half-and-half in my coffee. No wait. I don't drink coffee. Hmm. Stop smoking pot to end the munchies?"
You can see my problem, yes?
And that's not the very worst part. The "extras" that I need to cut out of my diet are the "drop off treats" or the random Relief Society treats or the potlucks ("covered dishes" for y'all in the South). The food that people bring over because they LOVE me, want to share, want me to know they were thinking of me. This is the food I need to cut back on. But how does one cut back on all The Love? It's not easy folks.
How do I say no to this? I don't. And there is the problem.
I have started sticking things in the freezer to have a little at a time or to share out later (I know, not fair of me either, but turn about's fair play).
A friend at work says she does the "no, thank you bite". It's one bite and then, "no, thank you. I've had quite enough." All very polite and above ground. I should try that. Besides, who could ever be offended by a "no, thank you bite"? It just sounds so nice.
I think we should all stop bringing treats over* and just start saying, "I love you." Yes? Fewer calories and just as sincere. However, I don't think this will really catch on because aren't we sometimes just trying to say, "I was thinking of you and you're nice but we don't know each other all that well and food says it so much better and is less awkward when I can just drop it off without having to stay and chat." Oops, am I the only one that does that?
Food is the great bridge-crosser. The great equalizer. We all eat. Many of us like desserts or snack-type things that can be dropped off in a small amount of time. We can relate on the food level if not on anything else.
The great Getter Together of people. I'm sure that's why Enrichment turn-outs are so much higher when there is food involved. If you've been wanting to go but don't know a lot of people, well, there will be food to talk over (which is also something to do) and no awkwardness.
It's really a shame, though, that Mormons don't just stop eating food, too. I'm so good at avoiding alcohol and coffee. I'd like to be that good at avoiding food.
I'll let you know how that goes.
Anywho, that's the downside.
_______________
*Unless, of course, it's That Time**. In which case, bring it ASAP.
**If you don't know, you're too young or a guy who doesn't have a close lady-friend.
12 comments:
I'm so there with you. Though I've gotten very good at taking a nibble of the treat dropped off and either feeding it to my kids or the garbage.
It is strange how so many people say "I love you" or "thinking of you" with food. Which isn't always a bad thing, but it can turn into one.
is re-gifting food a sin??????????
Oh, Kitti--I totally have these thoughts at least on a weekly basis. I have the problem of feeling like I need these treats as an excuse to stop by and visit. So I end up saying, No I will not bring this treat to my friend and sabotage her efforts (and mine because I have to sample it before I bring it), but now I'm stuck trying to figure out what else could possibly bring me there. . .lame, right?
While sharing food can often bring people together, it also keeps them apart, because the focus becomes the treat and not the person and his/her needs. I found that I often delivered food when I was trying to say 'I'm thinking about you, but not enough to REALLY think about what you need, just something to appease my conscience'. I gave treats more for me then for them. (That is not super Christ-like, and probably not where the focus should be.) In recent years I have tried (sometimes successfully, sometimes not), to get away from the food and pay more attention to what my friends really need--not share food to cover my guilt for not sharing enough of my time.
As for you and your goal--I am totally on board! I will not bring any treats to you or your house. I hope everyone else can get on board too. And if they hear the message you are sending out-that you don't eat rich foods for health reasons-and choose to ignore it, they aren't really sharing love anyway, so no guilt in giving to the neighbors!
I totally agree! Too much good food!! And I am so bad at just dropping food off to people because it's easy and I don't have to sit and chat. That's why I love taking dinner to people, like when they have a baby (like last night) because it's so EASY! But I do try to see how they're really doing and always offer to babysit their kids.
Good luck with the 40. You can totally do it. Just say NO to sweets!!
i hear ya!
Yep, I am so guilty of the food drop off, I love making stuff and bringing it by to unsuspecting "friends" and leaving with a, "I just wanted to say thank you for the blah, blah, blah" and then running for the car. My fav is the doorbell ditch, minus the doorbell. They will find it eventually,? In fact I just dropped off today, but it was bread and for a birthday so that hardly counts, right? Oh and I so would have stayed and talked, she just wasn't home.
Anyway as far as other people dropping stuff off, it doesn't happen so often that I worry about it. Mostly I try to taste whatever it is and then the rest goes in the trash. It's not that I don't appreciate it or love the people who are doing the giving; it's just that they gave it to me so I can do with it what I will. I tasted it so I can tell them it was good, or "very sweet" of them to remember me.
I just don't have trouble tossing stuff that I don't want, is that bad? I wouldn't feel bad if people threw away the stuff that I brought them. They got the message, I was sending love through the food and they don't have to eat it. I think it all works out.
In RS we have been talking about not having to bring food, but just letting someone know that they are loved with a call or a visit. I'm still going to bring food, I can't help it, I love to bake and I love to share. Oh well.
It's a good thing you live in PA, you would be getting food all the time.
Love it. I just made 42 cinnamon rolls that we are planning on taking around to our friends for Valentine's Day. I love to bake though! I just can't help it. Doesn't make dieting very easy, which is why I have only lost a couple pound in the last two weeks! :)
I love you Kitti!
So two different people came over with food yesterday, but it was mostly for the kids. Good times
I have never been able to pass by food when it's brought to me. Leftover guilt from the "clean up your plate because someone in Biafra is starving" syndrome? Whatever. But I DID IT YESTERDAY FOR THE FIRST TIME. EVER. IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!! And you know how many years my entire life has been: a good long time.
Anyway, this is how it went down. A student ran in after school yesterday on her way to the bus and gave me a big box of conversation hearts. I thanked her and was so happy that she'd thought of me. Then just before I went home, I chucked the whole thing into the trash. Unopened. Ah, sweet victory. For once.
Of course, that was after the one big and one small valentine cookie I had eaten earlier that day.
Here's to victories when we can win 'em and to no guilt when we can't. Because we're human.
So, in the spirit of your post, I just want you to know that I love you. And I'm restraining myself from running over to your house with the accompanying love treats.
Hmmm, that wasn't as hard as I thought it might be.
Nieca - you always make me laugh!
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