Holmes Away From Home

Visiting the Fallen Heros

2011-09-12T09:54:00.000-04:00

On Sunday, we went to the Boalsburg Military Museum to talk about making the hard choice even when you are scared and either way things won't end well for you. I wanted to remember the Flight 93 heroes. I also wanted to acknowledge the first responders to the towers as well as the first responders in our community. So we walked and we talked and took a few pictures.

How was your Sunday?

Ready For The Runway

2011-07-25T08:53:00.000-04:00

I think they've both mastered The Pout.

Sweet Moments

2011-07-18T10:21:00.002-04:00

The Babes

2011-07-08T15:49:00.000-04:00

Eating peppers. Ok. Gumming. There were no actual peppers harmed in the making of these pictures.

Random Pictures

2011-07-08T15:42:00.001-04:00

Mom, Mom!! Come look! Okay. You can take a picture if you want to."

The girls love their books.

2011-04-13T16:20:00.000-04:00

Seriously. The Babe loves her sister. The Gractetress already has a #1 fan- but not in a creepy way.

The Gracetress is working on an Oregon Trail project. For extra credit she made a doll (or actually accessorized a doll that Grandma made). She drew the face, made the clothes, styled the hair. Let it be known: I sewed the hair. (Dude. I can sew doll hair. Who knew?)

"Conan The Babe-arian". Is anyone else hearing the muppet version of "In the navy"? No? Ok, just me then.

We tried giving CK rice cereal. She was faintly amused at first. Then puzzled. Then a little gaggy. At which point, the attempted feeding ended. Better luck next time.

The other night Grace needed to clarify which era I came from: "So, did you grow up in The Depression or was it during Segregation?"

I do love a light moment.

So we're all well here and I have nothing really to say. Other than The Gracetress is the best. My baby is the sweetest. And all that.

Baby Bath

2011-01-31T16:20:00.005-05:00

We've discovered that CK loves bath-time even more when The Gracetress hops in with her. Everything is better with a sister.

This is a random stare-down of CK's new friend, "Spider."

Aaaaand here we have the baby snow leopard in its natural habitat:

New Baby. A Retrospective?

2011-01-19T16:24:00.007-05:00

Is that the correct word? Who knows but here's a few pictures while I catch up on a little sleep. Or something.

New baby Camille.

And she likes to snuggle!

And laugh. She's a happy one.

And sleep. She loves to sleep.

But mostly she loves her sister.

Yep. I love having a new baby in the house. She's wonderful and everything I could ever want in a baby. (And I think she loves me best of all ;) )

The Gracetress has taken it all in stride and is the wonderful daughter we have always known her to be. And now she is the fantastic sister she has always wanted to be.

We are so very happy and so very blessed right now.

P.S. J will make it into the next round of photos. He's been doing much of the picture taking and the foot work around the house -which is why he's absent.

I'm Thinking...I'm Thinking...**

2011-01-19T16:21:00.000-05:00

... about food.

I'm heading out tonight or tomorrow night to see Food Inc. This idea of voting with our money is very interesting to me. Also the idea that healthy-minded people can do to the food industry what anti-tobacco groups did to the tobacco industry is very hope-inspiring.

If we learned to see fast food for what it is: high salt/sugar/fat; rather than how it's viewed now: a quick and easy solution to end of the day fatigue or a yummy treat (that sometimes ends up being an everyday treat); well, we would be moving in the right direction.

I have read a number of articles lately about the addictive properties of food. I have often thought, as well as being told, that food addiction isn't much different than any other substance abuse issue. With the big exception being that one can't "quit food". That whole "needing to eat" thing can get pesky.

But it's true -individuals use mood-altering substances (drugs, alcohol, tobacco, food, whatever) for the benefits they give. Sometimes euphoria, relaxation, avoidance. Maybe the habit becomes an addiction or maybe it's a habit that "can be stopped at any time".

Ideally, one would find healthier ways of dealing with life issues and, those issues dealt with would no longer require the addictive substance. For example, to unwind at the end of the night I like to eat a treat. It turns out that talking with J, watching a show or reading are also great "wind-down" activities. It would behoove me to choose a non-caloric activity at the end of the night

**So it turns out that I started this back in August 2009. Interesting and I wonder why I didn't ever post it. Maybe because I didn't make it to the viewing of Food Inc. Anyone catch the documentary and want to comment?

Anywho, since I seem to have made a habit of not posting and here I find a mostly suitable post ready-made...yep...here you go.

We've Got A Swimmer!

2010-05-03T12:47:00.002-04:00

And that's all I've got, folks.

All body parts present and accounted for (except the one we were most hoping to know about).

Looks like a healthy baby and we'll know in another 11 weeks what color onesies to start collecting.

Masculine Child?

2010-04-30T12:43:00.002-04:00

We find out on Monday: boy child or girl child. Any thoughts? I'm a little bit excited.

True Colors?

2010-02-26T15:10:00.003-05:00

Not personality color. No no no no no.

Your essential color. It is given to you by your mom (or dad or a close sibling). But mostly likely assigned by your mom. Someone who knows you and loves you the most. If you don't already have one perhaps the great love of your life will assign it. Or maybe you will come to Your Color on your own. (In which case, Dude, you just go on with your bad self.)

It's a color that is often paired with you and seems to stick. If you've received colored items from various family members and they haven't stuck, well, it (whatever it is) is not your color.

My color is red. My mom recognized my essential color and gave it to me. Red pj's at Christmas. The dolly with red hair. Red sleeping bags. Red reading lamp. And so on until it stuck. To this day, with all the favorite colors and secret favorite colors I have ever had, red is truly who I am. Whether it's a favorite or not; I am red.

It's my go to color. It's the color I'm most at home in. Peaceful. Essentially. Me. Ahhhh. Red for heart and happiness. Red for rage. Red for roses. Good times.

It's the color that I identify as mine. When choosing anything, I often pick up or look at red first. I may choose a different color ultimately, but we both know (red and I) that it should be red. Red is my color of confidence, happiness, safety. Home.

I suspect that my dad's color is also red. I haven't figured my mom's out yet. I'll have to inquire. Sisters, what do you think? I put Dan's at purple, Miss Moddie's at blue? and MJ's at green (but possibly purple -I have spent most of my life avoiding the purple candies because they belong to MJ. Although that may just have been a flavor thing). Am I close? Dixon seems yellow but I can't recall ever seeing him with yellow. Anyone?

Grace is pink. She tries to fight it from time to time but always comes back to it. I imagine there will be a time in her teens when she loves it again and then will publicly scorn it. Then in her mid-twenties she'll openly embrace the beauty that is pink. What? I'm not saying it will go down exactly like that...let's just say I have experience.

I'll have to speak to J about this but I really think he is both brown and green. Perhaps he can narrow it down for me. But at any rate, earthy tones.

So, what color are you? What color has stuck with you all your life and can now be identified as a "you color"? And while you're at it, what are the colors of someone else significant in your life? And, Have you given any colors?

The Gracetress Does Fourth Grade

2009-09-01T10:05:00.003-04:00

Fourth Grade, y'all. And couldn't be prouder.

The Gractress Turns Nine

2009-09-01T09:25:00.004-04:00

Here's our Birthday Girl.

All ready for church with her new Supplies. Thank you, Grandma Natalie. Paper and pencils and highlighters, oh my! Sacrament meeting just got a whole lot more fun.

"Guess what, Mom? Now I'm almost as old as I look!"

Thank you, Grace. That's what keeps me up at night.

Our Little Slugger, trying out her new bat. Thank you, Grandpa Tom! We can't wait for softball this Spring.

The Gracetress Does Art Camp

2009-09-01T09:12:00.002-04:00

Grace went to art camp this summer. She spent each week working toward a final Art Show on Fridays. Here is a sampling of the products of her labors.

Hotel For Dogs. You can't tell but there's a miniature mailbox complete with removable letters.

Littlest Pet. This is a tent city that all the children contributed too. Grace drew a dog (whose name, I am sure, is Libby).
More work from The Artiste.

A Fiery Mask.

In all, a fun summer and it passed quickly.

Holy Produce, Batman!

2009-09-01T09:09:00.001-04:00

This beautiful head of romaine came from my Garden Goddess friend (CM). It was just so pretty that I needed more witnesses.

I Feel...?

2009-08-26T15:51:00.003-04:00

I don't know. Sad? About the passing of Senator Ted Kennedy. I'm not terribly familiar with either his political career or personal life. However I feel saddened for the loss of what he represented in my narrow little world.

I hate the end of Things As They Were. Senator Kennedy represented that for me. A family of Movers and Shakers. There isn't another family, in my mind, who comes close to possessing the power, romance and magnetism of John, Bobby and Ted*. The Camelot President, The Peace-Seeker, The Politician (with incredible bi-partisan clout).

Where is the next dynasty? If I didn't strongly dislike the B--- family, well, there's them. Who else is there? It's like when Johnny Depp became the new Willy Wonka. Gene Wilder is a classic. Who can top that? No one. But it's Johnny Depp -not better, just younger and cuter. But not the same. You know?

Or like when my parents sold our home in SR. No other home will have the memories and character of that one. It's like they changed the location of our favorite sitcom. Same stories new setting. (What if Friends took place in Nashville? Not. The. Same.) Same Bat-time, new Bat-channel.

Anywho, I wanted to say something and it turns out I have very little to say. Just, I'm sad. How are you feeling?

*don't get me wrong, I appreciate that these men were mere mortals and made mistakes like anyone else (sometimes bigger mistakes)

Best Day Evah

2009-08-20T14:58:00.004-04:00

The Gracetress with birthday cake (courtesy of JL -you rock, btw):

Unfortunately, there was an "incident" involving fire and the umbrella.
I think the princesses may have had a little too much fun.

Her birthday this year was an act in two parts:
Act I: dinner at "The Salad Restaurant" (also known for their steaks, maybe you're heard of it? Outback, anyone?) because The Girl wanted a "house salad, no onions, no tomatoes, with ranch please". I love a girl who knows what she wants.

We were so excited to have a favorite duo G&G Halverson (one in person and one by skype) with us this year. Yay! Thanks for being here. (I'll post pictures from Act I as soon as I find my cable.)

Act II: a meeting of friends at the pool for cake. This year The Gracetress got to share the birthday love with a favorite little friend, who also has an August birthday. A good time was had by all.

Green Salsa

2009-07-06T16:51:00.003-04:00

For Erika:

Okay. This isn't precise. Perhaps J will take over and fill in exact amounts. Short of that, here's what we do:

1 white onion, sliced,
a jalapeno or two, washed
a couple Anaheim peppers, washed
a couple Serrano peppers, washed
~1 lb tomatillos, washed and cored, paper removed
garlic cloves

Place all ingredients, as is, onto a foil lined cookie sheet under the broiler. Turn veggies over as their skins crackle and brown (this is supposed to happen). When skins appear more brown than not, start removing veggies from oven (this happens at varying times). The garlic is often done first of all the game.

Place onion, tomatillo and peeled garlic into a blender. Peel and core all peppers and chilies and also place in blender. Blend.

Add a bunch of cilantro leaves.
Salt to taste.
Also, I like to add an avocado. So awesome.

Blend until smooth. Enjoy.

I hope that was everything.

Oh wait... add a few shakes of cumin. Cumin makes everything better.

You can eat it warm or refrigerate and eat cold. This also makes an amazing sauce for chicken enchiladas. Great for tacos and chili verde burritos (of course).

School Lunch?

2009-07-03T11:50:00.003-04:00

Hi folks. I have a request.

If you have time please head on over here and take a look at the SlowFoods Movement. This is a petition to help improve the quality of the school lunch programs around the country. This is something I really believe in and I hope you'll give it a little think-over.

Thanks and I'll write more after the Fourth.

Happy Independence Day!

Bid'ness

2009-07-01T12:13:00.004-04:00

Once again I have nothing to say. Here's is some of May and most of June in pictures:

Grace and I went to Gettysburg for a school field trip. The house has a little tiny speck in the upper left-hand corner. Apparently, it's an unexploded mortar from the Civil War.
Dude.

Then I saw the biggest worm in my entire life. It was really dark so I was just guessing on where to point the camera and I tried to put my shoe next to it but believe me... it was HUGE. Longer than my foot!

Then J taught The Gracetress to ride her bike (in all of ten minutes, she was ready,what can I say?):
Pre-bike: Post-bike:

Then I spent every spare minute crocheting an afghan (sp?) for a friend's wedding gift:

Then J built a Star Wars Drone to fight off the bad pirates:

And he made green salsa in the molcajete (because he's awesome like that):

And I went to a friends wedding:

Finally, The Gracetress being her lovable, darling self:

The Staying Story

2009-06-03T10:19:00.004-04:00

Thank you to M for pointing me to this blog post. If you have time, go on over and read about one woman's decision to stay married. Honest and powerful.

As noted,we don't talk about this a lot. The how and why and what happens after. Maybe because we can just observe and draw our own conclusions? Because it's too personal to talk about? No one wants to air dirty laundry?

But here's what I'm thinking. Save the sordid details for your best "in the vault" friend but share the other stuff. Surely anyone would acknowledge that no marriage, assuming partners are on equal footing and honest with themselves, is without bumps and disagreements. Not everything goes along swimmingly all the time.

Marriage can be (dare I say it?) work at times. Even the best of times. It's no longer you and your merry self. Now there are other needs to consider. Time constraints. Menus to discuss and agree upon (such as "what" and "who shall prepare"). Clothes to coordinate (okay, I'm kidding about that one but J and I have had several strange happenings of late wherein the same colors were worn on the same day. Coincidence? Or maybe we've just been married for awhile. Great minds and all that.)

I've had the thought before that being single is certainly simpler (yes, I'm familiar with "the grass being greener..."), whether it is or not I think could be argued at length. But what is it about being married that makes people choose to stay married?

The whole why is such a huge question and very different for many people: love, companionship, kids, someone to sit on the couch with and complain about commercials to, money, power, support, belonging, monkey business, someone to read books with, live-in road-trip buddy.

And then the other million dollar question: how? Once you decide it's worth it, how does one go about insuring it happens?

My parents (yours too, if you're a Holmes) talked a lot about this in FHE, Sunday walks, at the dinner table, car rides, etc. The how for them, according to me, was about compromise, forgiveness, date nights, praying together, keeping in touch throughout the day, laughter, letting the kids know their place.

Probably the most important: assuming the best of each other. Always with the benefit of the doubt.

And of course the main phrase I heard often was, "to treat each other in such a way that our spouse would never want to leave or look elsewhere."

With J and I, I would say that we both try to assume that we each are trying our hardest. And that we show respect for each other's opinions (unless they're crazy—we don't do crazy around here.)

Granted, no one is perfect. And so with the whole forgiveness thing. I really think these things work for them and us because we want them to. I think the key is that we're all trying (mostly every day or at least more often than not). I have no answers when only one is person wants to stay, except: that totally stinks and I'm sorry.

You're welcome to go anonymous for this but I would love to read the why or how you have stayed married. Or avoided it. Either one.

And Now To Please The Grandparents

2009-04-29T09:32:00.004-04:00

Because we love you.

Here's a brief pictorial of our recent activities:

Grace made a cake. We had extra time. I had extra ingredients. "Why not make a cake?" we said.

Indeed.

Let's make it pink and green.

And so we did, Grace taking the lead in actual work. Mom supervised.

Next, for MissKitti's birthday bash we had our favorite little people* over to celebrate. Things were said. Cookies were eaten. In all, a great night.

Cookies. by Grace

The BlueWhite Game at Penn State.
76,500 fans at the scrimmage. Yes, folks. Scrimmage. This is why Penn State rocks. I believe I've said it before: they know how to do football.

And now what you've all been waiting for....The Gracetress does Softball. Our little leftie hitter and 1st Basewoman extrordinare. She hit a single last night and got to run home. Yay!!!

_____
*of course we have lots of favorite little people. Of which, these are a few.

Birthday Wishes

2009-04-24T10:18:00.007-04:00

I could go on and on about how I remember the day Miss Kitti was born and how it changed my life forever, except I was like 2 and have no memory of mom & dad bringing her home whatsoever. But having her as a sister has made my life better. Kitti is caring, thoughtful, smart, funny, and I could go on but I really can't think of all the words that I'd like to use to descirbe her.
Anywho I really just wanted to make sure that Kitti got the recognition that she deserved on her special day.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISS KITTI

love you and I'm so blessed to have you as a sister

Y tú?

2009-04-20T13:10:00.006-04:00

On Sunday, the Relief Society lesson was on persecution. Specifically about the early Saints being driven west. I was curious as to where the teacher was going with this. Mostly wondering if she was going to focus on the persecution of those who plowed on before us or if she would focus on modern-day persecution.

She said both. I agree on the former and have to disagree on the latter. I have great admiration for the pioneers who left home and family to follow their faith and convictions. I can only imagine how difficult and terrifying that must have been.

Currently, I don't doubt that religious persons do indeed get persecuted for their faith. However, I feel more comfortable vigorously asserting that this is much more common in Other. Parts. Of. The. World. Having to remove prayer from schools doesn't strike me as persecution so much as making it safe for everyone to play in the sandbox.

I guess I should mention that I have never felt nor do I feel persecuted. (Except for that one time that a mean boy said I had a terrible haircut and his mother agreed with him. To which I must honestly respond: mean people suck. Also, there was that Time with the Thing in the Place.)

Getting back to safe sandboxes.

One woman shared an observation that most ways of living are becoming accepted and everything is being labeled as "okay." She didn't like this state of things because it meant that if she wasn't okay with the way another individual chose to live their life then she was the intolerant one. She was speaking specifically about her teenagers in high school and how impressionable they are. Naturally, one wants their children to be impressed upon by the right things.

(Let's be clear here. I'm talking about religious practices and life choices* that don't harm me, my family or my community. I'm not talking about the animal-torturing, pyromaniac, car-stealing druggie friends that we're all afraid our child will befriend.)

I do see her point. And I also don't. Tolerating someone's ideas, living harmoniously with people of other faiths, isn't the same as accepting their ideals or habits. It just mean you can get along. For example, I'm friends with people who drink. We like each other. We respect each other. Science supports the occasional drink. My dietary guidelines say no way. My friends are no more likely to give up drinking than I am to take it up. I have friends who don't believe in Jesus as the Messiah. Yet we still can live peacefully in the same town and get appetizers together from time to time.

As for teenagers, I obviously do not have any yet. Perhaps I will feel differently when I do. However, I won't let that minor detail stop me from giving my opinion. J and I are taking the Brother Joseph approach with Grace, teaching correct principles and letting her govern herself. We teach Grace what we believe and try to show her how we would like her to act. Then it's up to her to let that information guide her choices and actions.

As scary as it is to let her go out into the world, I have to wonder how strong her/my/our faith can be if it doesn't bear examining. Of course she will have questions. Of course she will see that others do things differently. And while the LDS church does actively recruit, most others do not. I'm trying to send out respect and good will, hoping that it will return.

The laws that govern our land make it safe for us to practice our religion. These are the same laws that keep other faiths and groups of people safe, as well. If we want to live in a society where we start drawing lines about what's okay and what's not (beyond basic crimes like murder and theft), we should be prepared for the dark times ahead.

I don't think we can have it both ways. Either we (by "we", I mean LDS faithful) want to be accepted and not be driven out and exterminated or we don't. And if we expect to be accepted we must extend that same benefit to others.

Next time, I'll just post some non-controversial family pics.

_________
*Yes, I'm (very nervously) inserting families of ANY type. I see families as a good thing. People wanting to form families should be supported, helped, encouraged. That's all I'll say on that point for now.

I'm A Changed Woman

2009-04-17T15:45:00.004-04:00

No, it's true. And here is the evidence.

When J and I first started dating, I mentioned that I like to read (shocking, I know). He suggested a few authors and I took a lit. course at BYU. It turns out that, from time to time, in both classic and critically acclaimed literature, things don't always go well.

By that, I mean, loyal dogs die, people are inexplicably crucified, innocent men are accused of murder, and older brothers are less than perfect. Reading these short stories and novels was fairly depressing, assuming I understood the story at all.

Another sore point was all the ambiguity and loose ends. What do you mean there's no ending?!?! How can the story be finished when no one has gotten married or packaged things up tidily? How is that possible? Did she have an affair or didn't she? Was the woman a snake or just weirdly interested in eating rats? What was the author getting at?!

At one point I just got mad at J for encouraging me to read Good Literature,* and squarely placed the blame for all the unhappiness and tragedy within literature on his shoulders. (Perhaps unfair, but whatever.)

After a particularly difficult time with The Brothers K (not Karamazov, just "K") and an even more harrowing experience with Crime and Punishment, I gave up on serious books for awhile. How long, one might ask? Hmmm, how old is Grace now? Almost that long.

(Enter Harry Potter and YA lit. Good times. We've talked about this ad nauseum.)

Oddly enough, I've been noticing a shift. A higher tolerance, if you will, for sadness. Maybe because I'm less angry as a person I can better tolerate the anger in books? I don't know. Maybe I'm becoming a darker person. Any thoughts on that?

Granted, I don't always want a heavy theme or taxing subject. But more and more often these days I do.

_____
*My words. J would never call my preference in books "crap"—even if they sometimes are. For the record, J is happy for me to read anything that makes me happy or at least makes me happy to be reading, even if it does make me cry.

Please Excuse The Swear...

2009-04-14T09:24:00.000-04:00

But Mr. Obama is pretty darn badass.

Tell Me Truly

2009-04-09T21:43:00.002-04:00

Are you a regular soda drinker or a diet? Water or juice? For reals, what do you drink?

Studies* (and by "studies" I mean that several studies my lab has conducted) have shown that people who consume caloric beverages do so without the benefit of feeling full. So, you can drink 600 hundred calories in one sitting and still be ready for appetizer, entree and dessert.

Dude.

This is not the way to go. Even if you're not trying to cut calories. Think of all the sugar and your teeth and and....

But what really gets my goat is the fact that many schools around the country have vending machines and offer large varieties of soda and juices to our young, impressionable, and sugar-loving youth. So not cool.

Our children, bless their hearts, do not need to be drinking the fruu-its of the deveel at school. Let them get it at home or on the way home. We need not encourage the bad behavior at our places of learning. Save that for the parents.

Seriously, if we could all teach out kids one thing (for starters) about nutrition, let it be to NOT drink their calories. **WITH THE HUGE EXCEPTION OF MILK. DRINK MILK, PEOPLE** It adds to an individuals total daily calories without providing the fullness necessary to cue that individual to stop eating. It also, often doesn't even provide a significant amount of nutritional benefits (IE, vitamins, fiber, minerals).

A sort of related side-note: A colleague of mine reminded me, today, that for a person to gain ten pounds a year, they have only to over-eat by 100 calories a day, everyday. One hundred calories is not a lot, my friend. (Believe me, I know. I've been keeping track lately.)

Anywho, all I'm saying is give peace a chance. No wait. That and,

Don't drink your calories. Encourage your local schools to find alternative means of raising funds -get rid of the junk-food vending machines. And one serving of juice is only 1/2 a cup. Just so you know.

* refers to experiments conducted using the scientific method, published in peer-reviewed journals of good report. The results reported are statistically significant, meaning that the chance that the findings are random is such a small possibility so as to be considered impossible. If Burton read my blog I would ask him to confirm and he would, so there.

The Gracetress Does Etiquette

2009-04-08T09:22:00.001-04:00

Last night Grace went to an Etiquette Dinner. She came home and told us there was one thing we must absolutely never do:

NO SHOULDERS ON THE TABLE!!

Right-o. No problem there. Now elbows, that might be another story.

I love my little Sweetie.

It's All In How You Look At It

2009-04-07T18:09:00.002-04:00

Last night I dreamed that J was snoring. Really loud. Guess what J was actually doing? Snoring. Really loud.

The upside of this is that one must be sleeping to dream. The even greater thing is that I was sleeping through loud snoring. I know, right?! Good job body.

Judging A Book By Its Cover

2009-03-27T16:05:00.002-04:00

Sorry, this post is exactly what it sounds like. No profound symbolism here.

I went to pick out a book this week. A follow-up book to P&P, in which Miss Mary Bennett is the protagonist. Unfortunately, it paints Elizabeth Bennett's marriage in less than happy terms.

Guess what? I won't be reading that book. Anyone having the nerve to suggest that EB and Mr. Darcy are anything but blissfully happy for the rest of their lives can in no way write a story that would interest me. Hmmph!

Other relationships that must also, always be referred to in the most glowing of terms:
Jane and Mr. Rochester as well as Anne Elliot and Captain Wentworth. I think that's it. Anyone else is free to their ups and downs.

Who are your favorite, perfect literary relationships?

In other news, go get The Graveyard Book. You will love it*. Or you won't. One of those.

*And if you do, tell me what you think.

In Which The Gracetress Schools MissKitti

2009-03-03T10:31:00.003-05:00

But in a nice way.

We've been working on Project Mars over here in the Halverson household. Did you know that it has two moons? I know, right! I don't remember that from school. Phobos and Deimos. Now you know too.

Update: 3/25 So, it's been, what, 2 years since I wrote last? At least. This Holmes has been away from home a lot lately. Anywho, Grace's project was the bomb. Complete with black poster board, glittery red lettering (get it? the "red planet"), and styrofoam planets. In case you were wondering, Michael's has a very nice molecules set that doubles as a planet builder and it's cheaper than buying the planets individually. Just so you know.

In other news, The Gracetress has started softball. She's a leftie and so very great. (Really, she's right smack in the middle of the abilities line, but as a parent I'm obligated to say she's brilliant. And she IS.) I'm so proud of my softball-playing girl.

Also, and most importantly: Grace wants a "rock star" room. What is a Rock Star room? One may ask. When I tried to pin her down on the details, she was rather vague.
Grace: "You know, rock star. Really cool stuff in here. Older toys. We need to get
rid of the baby toys and stuff."
Me: "Yes, but what exactly are 'cool stuff and older toys' and what do you mean
by 'rock star'?" (throw me a bone here)
Grace: " you know..."
Me: "????"
I looked around the room and saw chapter books, pictures of The Gracetress, a school-ready bear, stuffed animals and clothes. No baby toys or books in sight. There's even a dresser-top devoted to all things lotion and body-glitter. Not to mention the Hannah Montana make-up/ hair-do head (yes. I caved. What?!) What's a parent to do?

It turns out that by 'rock star', she meant puppies and dogs. She wants a room decorated with dog stuff. Complete with a doggie bed, for her to lounge on with friends, and a dog bowl with Scooby snacks. To be fair, Scooby snacks aren't bad. Okay. No boy-band posters yet. Just dogs. I can totally do this.

It makes me very nostalgic for my Howard Jones and U2 posters. Good times.

My Favorite Part

2009-02-25T16:03:00.002-05:00

Have we talked about this before? I can't remember. Anywho...

You know that time right between "just met" and "I love you". The part where you're trying to decide, to analyze, to decipher all the looks, actions, words of that special someone?

I LOVE that part. Be it real life, a book, a movie, someone else's story. I eat that stuff up. It's why I love young adult lit. I love reliving that time in my life.

In fifth grade there was the boyfriend of my soon-to-be-ex-best friend who was trying to decide if she was right for him and I was good friends with him and thought he was cute and was, of course, trying to help him decide what to do.... Naturally if I hadn't been scarred by the "you will marry who you date" idea, I might have considered stealing him. As it was, the flirting was fun enough and she ended up dumping him first anyway. (Besides, I wasn't ready for a husband at 10.)

In the sixth through 11th grades there was that one boy, RJ, who was perfect. Sporty, tall, blonde hair, blues eyes -what more could a girl ask for? Other than to actually be noticed by said tall, blonde guy. Yeah, there was a lot to be analyzed there (actually there wasn't, but teenage girls are remarkably resourceful when it comes to finding made-up clues that He knows you exist).

In twelfth grade, there was the case of mistaken "like" and the less said on that subject the better. Let us just say that the guy I had a major crush on was happy to hang out and do stuff but not much else so when another guy came along that wanted to be more, well my ego was totally up for it. In hind site, not my best moment.

In college there was that really tall, really smart, totally hot guy who asked me out a few days after we met. Then Christmas break happened and I didn't get to watch him at church or in passing to see if any of the "signs" were there. However, we ended up having an odd connection, in that his aunt is friends with my sister and his family lived in my brothers ward. Dude. Connections don't get any better. My family liked him before they'd even met him (btw, Grady Tripp -you raised an awesome family. Loved on reputation only).

That guy was my favorite story. Parties held on made-up excuses just to get him over to my apartment. Spur of the moment skipbo matches to keep him there. I even recall a "French Kiss" party that ended up just being me and his roommate. (Mom- the movie, not the action). My friends and I had a ball reliving every word and look -"did he or didn't he?", "did I or didn't?"

Man, I even had it worked out, on the advice of a close friend, that he was only looking for a friend and not a girlfriend so I had to play it totally cool. Until.. another girl stepped in and I had to totally stake a claim.

Flowers after our first kiss. Little notes and plenty of Riesen. Comedy Troupes, the Blazers, long walks and Valentine's at an antique shop. And don't forget the most righteous Reverend Al Greene and velvet pictures. Good times, all.

Where was I? Oh yes, I love love stories. More even than flowers on Valentines (which I also heartily love).

What's your favorite part?

Night Rider

2009-02-23T15:36:00.003-05:00

Or alternately titled, "In Which MissKitti Rocks Pedom-o-thon 2009"

February is National Heart Health month. So, come on folks, lets all get healthy hearts!

I'm participating in a "pedom-o-thon" at work, for the month of February. Participants put in $5 and wear a pedometer, tracking their daily step counts. There is a weekly prize for the highest step count at the end of each week and a grand prize for the highest total step count at the end of February. Participants can only win one weekly prize and anyone can win the grand total.

We mean business in the Food Lab. We don't kid around about our competitions. (Seriously, our last competition, the Bark Off, saw people entering up to six varieties of bark, not to mention the ingenious names. We even went so far as to make up official ballots and have silent taste testing so as not to influence each other.)

Folks, I won last week's weekly prize. I set a goal to walk, at minimum, 10,000 steps each day. This is equivalent to about 5 miles/day. (1 mile = ~2000 steps). Unfortunately, my sights were set too low. My goal put me roughly in the middle of the race. I could see an adjustment was necessary. This past week, my grand total? Da daadaa daaaa...........147,304 steps! I know, right? I'm so proud. The next closest step count was 109,432.

How did I accomplish this? one might ask. A combination of walking and riding my bike. We all agreed that any form of exercise could be converted into steps. So at the end of every day if my step count wasn't as high as I wanted, I hopped on my bike and started to ride.

On Saturday, I thought it would be fun to reach 30,000 steps in one day. Guess what? It wasn't fun. No. It wasn't. But it was possible and so I did it. Walking 10,000 steps and riding 10 miles. I made it to 30,000 steps.

And so I won for this week. Also, it turns out stretching would have been a good idea.

Happy Heart Month to all!

The Downside To Being Mormon

2009-02-12T16:32:00.005-05:00

I know, right? But it's true, there is a downside. And here it is:

Let us pretend that I'm trying to lose 40lbs. I might start by thinking, "Now, what are the easy calories to cut out of my diet? I could stop with the bar tours or late-night drinking with my friends. Oh wait. I don't drink alcohol. Okay, then. I can stop putting creamer or half-and-half in my coffee. No wait. I don't drink coffee. Hmm. Stop smoking pot to end the munchies?"

You can see my problem, yes?

And that's not the very worst part. The "extras" that I need to cut out of my diet are the "drop off treats" or the random Relief Society treats or the potlucks ("covered dishes" for y'all in the South). The food that people bring over because they LOVE me, want to share, want me to know they were thinking of me. This is the food I need to cut back on. But how does one cut back on all The Love? It's not easy folks.

How do I say no to this? I don't. And there is the problem.

I have started sticking things in the freezer to have a little at a time or to share out later (I know, not fair of me either, but turn about's fair play).

A friend at work says she does the "no, thank you bite". It's one bite and then, "no, thank you. I've had quite enough." All very polite and above ground. I should try that. Besides, who could ever be offended by a "no, thank you bite"? It just sounds so nice.

I think we should all stop bringing treats over* and just start saying, "I love you." Yes? Fewer calories and just as sincere. However, I don't think this will really catch on because aren't we sometimes just trying to say, "I was thinking of you and you're nice but we don't know each other all that well and food says it so much better and is less awkward when I can just drop it off without having to stay and chat." Oops, am I the only one that does that?

Food is the great bridge-crosser. The great equalizer. We all eat. Many of us like desserts or snack-type things that can be dropped off in a small amount of time. We can relate on the food level if not on anything else.

The great Getter Together of people. I'm sure that's why Enrichment turn-outs are so much higher when there is food involved. If you've been wanting to go but don't know a lot of people, well, there will be food to talk over (which is also something to do) and no awkwardness.

It's really a shame, though, that Mormons don't just stop eating food, too. I'm so good at avoiding alcohol and coffee. I'd like to be that good at avoiding food.

I'll let you know how that goes.

Anywho, that's the downside.

_______________
*Unless, of course, it's That Time**. In which case, bring it ASAP.
**If you don't know, you're too young or a guy who doesn't have a close lady-friend.

In Which MissKitti Says Thank You

2009-02-08T17:47:00.003-05:00

To The Lovely People of Target:

Thank you for having the foresight to stock an automotive section with do-it-yourself jump-start kits. Great idea and very helpful.

To The Brilliant People at Duracel:

You guys are awesome. Thank you for sending your jump-start kits out into the world fully charged and ready to go, just in case some poor soul happened to leave her lights on in the parking lot while shopping at Target and was too embarrassed to call her friends, AGAIN, for a jump. Thank you. You saved my bacon and a little of my pride.

To The Kindly Gentleman Who Stopped To Hold The Roof Of My Car Up Before It Came Crashing Down On My Head:

You are a dear sweet man and I so appreciate your help and support. Thanks even for saying I could have done just fine on my own. No I couldn't have but thanks for pretending all the same.

To My Parent Who Always Help The Stranger, Just In Case:

You're right again: help people out and it's the gift that keeps on giving. Your kids are benefiting from your good karma.

Thursday was a little trying for me. How was your week?

Girly-Girls vs. Girls

2009-01-27T16:21:00.004-05:00

The Gracetress did her very best last night to explain to me the difference between "girly-girls" and "girls". With an honorable mention thrown in for "tom-boys". She pays lip service to being a "girl" but let me tell you, she can't stay away from pink to save her life. Although, she has made head-way with wearing fewer dresses and no longer pesters me everyday to wear makeup.

My sweet little princess is trying so hard to transform into something else: a no frills type of girl. But not a "tom-boy". Oh no. That, apparently, is not the thing. I couldn't tell you why, though. As a child her age, I thought "tom-boy" was the only way to go. Who would want to be anything else?

I've been thinking about this whole transformation thing. Mostly in terms of me and who I am. Because, really, it's all about me. Right? Right, guys? Guys??

Anywho, I've often wondered if I'm a quiet, loud person or a loud, quiet person. Am I an inactive, active person, who — provided the health and opportunity — would be out hiking the trails of the world? Or the reverse: trying to be someone I'm not really cut out for?

I'm 31, soon to be 32. I'd like to know who I am. A few years ago I came clean with loving pink. I do and it's probably no surprise to anyone (just me). I love wearing makeup but not applying it. I love getting my hair cut and colored. I also really like dresses and skirts. I think it's safe to say I'm a "girly-girl" type. I am making an effort not to influence Grace in this matter.

There are just so many contradictions. What am I? What kind of woman am I? How am I known among friends, family, colleagues, acquaintances? I have had people tell me that they thought I was a "*itch" before getting to know me. One of my favorite people at work was afraid of me until we got to know each other better. But other people have known I was nice all along. I AM nice, btw.

Do you know who you are and what you're about? Have you sorted it out in your mind? How long did it take? Have you always known? What's it like? Walking around knowing if you're the "girly-girl" type, just a "girl" or a "tomboy."* I totally envy you.

Let's talk sometime and you can share your secrets.

_________
* If you're a male reading this, insert appropriate substitute. RD, I already know you're an "academic" with a little "man's-man" thrown in just to confuse everyone. You know: sexually "ambiguous." And just my type.

Happy Birthdays to Tyler, Dixon and Mom!

2009-01-14T15:49:00.006-05:00

All on separate days (1/7; 1/14; 1/15, respectively), of course. Actually there are many more Holmes-related birthdays in January, but to avoid insanity, I shall focus on the original 12 (10kids+2parental units).

So, Mom and Dad have arrived in Russia. I hear that they will very soon have a blog up and running (thank you, Moddy) for all and sundry to peruse at our leisure. In this way we can keep up with the news and appreciate that none of us can possibly be as cold as they are. If you don't have to wear ice picks on your shoes, in the winter, just to go to the market-- you aren't as cold as Mom and Dad. No. Don't argue.

Mom turns a respectable, but not specified age, tomorrow. I wonder if, like me, she ever wonders where the years have gone, can she really be __(insert age), and has it all been worth it? How can the kids be grown up already, and isn't it nice that they are? (I love having a nearly-independent 8yr. old, btw.) Also, what next?

Truthfully, my mom is more active than I am, not to mention way more talented and lovely. She is a perfectly complete person and woman. If you do not know my mom, and even if you do, let us revisit her many wonderful qualities and skills*.

Firstly, Mom is a listener and councilor. The kind everyone needs. She will listen and ask what you think. She may give some examples of how she can relate and may offer some ideas but she will never tell you what you have to or should definitely do. She is wonderful at sympathizing and empathizsing and loving. She is also good at not saying, "I told you so." And she would never say, "Holy Crap! You did what?!" (mostly because she is so polite and "crap" is not a word she would say.)

Secondly, Mom is full of ideas and willingness to see things through. I can remember many times coming to my mom with a homework quandry and she would stop what she was doing (always with the "doing") to help. Poems got written, sewing projects put back together the right way, meals saved, YW activities planned, algebra problems got worked and so on. And always with humor.

Mom is funny. She is always one to look at the bright side and share a giggle whenever there is one to be had. My favorite 'making mom laugh moment' comes from back when I was a teenager. I was reading the Reader's Digest anecdotes to her so we could both laugh. The phone rang just as I was getting to the punch line. I hurried and said it just as she picked up the phone to say hello. Instead of talking, she was laughing too hard to say anything. Good times.

Mom knows what's important and doesn't sweat the small stuff. (A trait that our other January birthday people are also known for. Coincidence? I think not.) Running a little late? Oh well, just do your best to make up for lost time and leave a little sooner next time. Bad hair day? Could be worse and really, you're just making every other woman feel better about herself (though, to be clear, my mom doesn't have bad hair days -I'm talking about me). Make-up on wrong? -no biggie. It's just make-up. Gravy not your best? Well, one thing in your meal should be less than perfect -that way you're not showing off.

Speaking of gravy. And now for a list of some other extraordinary talents:

scrumptious cook
sewing dervish
crochet-master
grower of flowers and plants
tender of many a happy grandchild

Last but not least, my mom is an excellent friend. Movies, books, frozen yogurt, quick shopping trip, you name it and she's up for it. And all the way there or during are so many things to talk about and ideas to explore. She's up for it all. I love that about her.

Happy Birthday (1/15)!

*See also Reagan's great post

Holy Crap! It's Been A Long Time....

2009-01-09T15:15:00.008-05:00

No pictures. No news. I got nothin'. Sorry folks. My computer is sick.

(Shhhhhhhhhhhh, I slipped away to use another computer. I hope mine doesn't find out)

In lighter news (hehe), this is the year that MissKitti declares she will lose 40 lbs! Yay for me! Please keep any doubts on the possibility of that happening to yourself. No negativity, please. We are all lovers here, yes?

This year (Dec '08), Grace did her best to turn our Bible-reading of the Nativity Story into a talk about sex. "Yes, but how did she get pregnant?" and "But, why wasn't Joseph involved?" —"Look honey, Bible scholars throughout the ages, not to mention inquiring minds, would love to know the answer to that one. WE JUST DON'T KNOW."

Next was, "Okay, but how are babies made, again?" Finally we had to gently but firmly state that we could discuss that at another time when we weren't desperately trying to give justification to all the gift sending and receiving, as well as all the other hoopla of our pagan xmas practices. "Yes, Grace, there is a Christian holiday in here somewhere. Just keep digging, we'll get there eventually."

And you know, we did. I loved opening gifts via webcam/Skype with the lovely and talented Halverson, Richardson, and Diaz families. I got to talk to almost half of my family members (which I count as outstanding). And we got to spend the day together, in our jammies. (We have a strict pj's-only rule for Christmas day. Seriously.)

It's 2009. Central PA is expecting 6-8inches of snow over the weekend. My back and ankle are back to their regularly scheduled programming. Good things ahead.

Anywho, Happy New Year to all! Best of luck with all your resolutions. I have high hopes for us all.

How Could I Almost Forget?!

2008-12-22T15:41:00.004-05:00

!! HAPPY 49TH ANNIVERSARY, MOM AND DAD !!

I'm so glad you're still going strong and more in love than ever. Thanks for living in such a way that everyone can see how much you like each other and are glad to be together. Enjoy your celebratory date.

You have taught me so many things about marriage:

do nice things for each other: get the door, plant flowers, make lunches, train the kids to clean up after themselves;
work together at something: gardening, canning, camping, backpacking (even if someone keeps pretending that there's a bear in the bushes), family stuff;
go on dates regularly;
"Couple Time" is important, call it what you will—"nap time," "we need to talk alone," "don't knock on the door or you're in trouble time"—just have it;
always treat your spouse in such a way that they will always know they are loved;
don't leave the house angry;
sleeping on a problem is often a good idea—or space, whatever;
don't air your dirty laundry with everyone in the family—speak well of your spouse at all times;
forgetting a birthday or anniversary is not nice but it's also not worth punishing a spouse for—assume everyone is doing their best and some things just get forgotten.

My favorite concept is the idea that there is no one person out there meant only for me. There are many people that I could choose to be with and be happy. The important thing is to decide well and then keep on choosing to stay married. This set my mind at ease from a very young age. Knowing that my husband would be up to me and not the universe was very comforting. And look how well I chose!*

I'm so glad that you're both following your dream to serve missions. Thus combining your love of service, learning new things and making new friends. I'm so proud of you for putting yourselves out there, struggling to learn new languages, fit into new cultures, taking cinnamon rolls and Red Feather stories to the world.

Again, happy anniversary.

________________
*Ed. note: Universe 1, Kitti 0, Justin ∞

But Enough About Me

2008-12-22T15:26:00.002-05:00

Firstly, you're all such lovely people. Thanks for your sympathy and sorry to be all 'poor me'. Things are fine now. It's just nice to get out of my own head every once in awhile. Okay, enough of that.

Merry Christmas everyone! I'm bound and determined to not only take pictures this year but to post them as well. I hope everyone else has that goal in mind because I can't wait to see what y'all do over break.

My best and brightest wishes to all for a lovely Christmas and happy New Year.

Can I Just Tell You...

2008-12-18T15:31:00.005-05:00

The difference it makes to not be in pain? HUGE. That's the difference it makes.

Last night was dark (both literally and metaphorically). Life is just so terrible when you can't walk. Grace was trying to cheer me up by offering to time* how long it took for me to walk from the kitchen to the office. At two, I had to ask her to stop. Concentrating on staying upright when there's a little voice counting out, "one, two …" is really more than one can be expected to handle at such times.

I started to think, it's too much: Christmas, work, cleaning, cooking, living, finding joy, blah, blah, blah. Then there's the stand-by, "I never should have gotten married or had a family. I'm bringing them down. I can't live like this...." and so on.

(I never voice this out loud because then this conversation would ensue: K:"I'm bring you down." J: "What?! That's crazy talk. I'm the one bringing you down." K: "You? No, it's me. I'm cramping your style." J: "No, you're insane. I'm the party pooper." K: "Shut up. It's me." And so on. You can see that this is going no where. Also, J would never call me insane and I would never say "shut up" to him. Random strangers and other people we're mad at but never each other.)

Today I saw the handsome and talented Dr. A for my little toe and my ankle. He did a little fixing, some talking, a lot of planning and I left his office feeling so much better.

I went in thinking something had better get cut off or I needed a cane or heads were going to roll. Seriously. My feet are a hot mess. (My poor little tootsies.) Even Dr. A agreed. Then he so nicely said, "Here's what we can do about that..."

Woohoo! That's what I was thinking, going back to work, still limping but without the "I'm going to kill someone if they so much as look at me wrong" kind of pain. Yay! Sunshine and daisies. It turns out when you use orthotics and braces in-tandem they work so much better. Synergy, how I love thy name!

But really, I feel so much better. I have a ton to do up until Xmas vacation and now I feel like I can do it. (As opposed to thinking, "there's no way in h***" but finding a way to do it anyway. The "can-do" attitude totally helps the process.)

____________
*(She LOVES to know how fast she can do things. We time everything around here: getting dressed, dumping the garbage, laps around the quad, drinking milk.)

Note: Sorry Mom, it's true. I totally swear in my head when things get rough.

Holiday Bark-Off

2008-12-18T09:29:00.002-05:00

At work today we are having a Bark Throwdown. Bark is another thing I didn't know about before moving to PA.

Melt chocolate chips, add almonds or crushed candy cane or anything else you can think of and spread out on a cookie sheet, lined with wax or parchment paper. Allow to cool in the freezer. (Or if you live in PA, put outside your door for a few seconds.) Once completely cooled, break into pieces. And there you have it, Bark.

Here's the one I did (P.S., they all had to be original recipes -no internet cheating):
1 bag 60%cocoa Ghirardelli chocolate chips
1/2 chopped macademia nuts
6 caramels (chopped in quarters)

Melt the chocolate. Add the stuff. Spread on parchment. Freezer for 5 minutes. Break and (put in a) bag.

I haven't actually tried it yet -it was 8am when I made it- so maybe it won't be great. Well see.

What I really want to know is, have you heard of bark and have you ever made it? I don't know if bark is just not a west-coast thing or if I was hanging with the wrong crowd.

Maudie Jane's Birthday

2008-12-12T14:45:00.004-05:00

Yes, it's true. The Best Little Sister I Ever Had is turning....something. Happy birthday, Maudie Jane (on Monday)!

Now for the roast. Or some less embarrassing stories.

As children, there was of course, the fighting of many varieties: fist, feet, yelling, tickling (I'm so so sorry for that one), name-calling, food (I wish we'd done more of that), throwing, etc. Sad times. Sometimes we were enemies.

Also, don't forget the rush to the best spot at the dinner table (always next to Dad -why was that?), the licking of the plate to ensure no one else took the spot and the calling of the couch corner on Saturday mornings.

Sometimes we shared: interests, rooms, barbies, candy, friends, dressing Tyler up as a girl, ideas (remember the pretend play with the girl who always got everything but was never spoiled?). Good times. Sometimes we were friends.

Then we grew up to be teenagers and there was the borrowing and trading (sometimes not admitted to until much much later): clothes, hair-stuff, shoes (not as much), styles, friends, babysitting jobs, the car, wild stories (mostly on the part of MJ), jokes -I love the hilarity of MJ, music (it's true, MJ introduced me to Nirvana and Green Day). Good times.

Then I went to college and we forgot that we were ever frenemies and became just friends.

Favorite scary story: I called from UT, one night when you were home alone. You were totally freaked out because someone kept calling and hanging up. I told you to go over to our friends house and you took the land-line outside with you so that I would know you were okay--all the way to the car. But as you got in the car, you dropped the phone and shrieked a little and the phone cut out. All I heard was a shriek and the phone went dead. Scariest 30seconds of my life until you called to say what happened. Phew. The End.

Then we grew up some more and now there is only sharing and sharing.

favorite books
secret favorite books
sometimes only "ok" books
texting and phoning
love of fine yarns and cheeses
husbands who love the Wegman's bakery
so many stories and so much more laughter
sometimes tears
sometimes soda through the nose
still clothes (now through our kids)
and on and on

I love you, MJ. Happy birthday.

Belated Homecoming Parade Pictures

2008-12-09T16:53:00.002-05:00

Penn State knows how to have a Homecoming Parade. And the 2008 version was no exception. We staked out our plot of sidewalk a mere six hours before 'go' time. Good thing too. Not five minutes later and the whole area had been staked out by other eager beavers (er, eager lions?), also wanting a good place to watch. Phew, that was close.

I'm not even ashamed to admit that I got kinda choked up when the Alumni Band went by. Loud music, played by PSU-loving old people? What's not to love?
And we all loved Charlie Brown.
You're seeing the crab of The Maryland Chapter of the Alumni Assoc . Seriously, there were at least a dozen different State chapters of the Alumni Assoc. represented in the parade. Even Utah had people to march in the parade. They don't kid around about football.
The fanciest floats were all from The Greeks. Very impressive and mostly appropriate for young children. And they all throw candy. That's really the point, right?

I put this one in mostly to show what a poor camera-womam I am. Poor Jose, I didn't mean to cut her off. She was a HUGE hit at the parade. All the floats (going by us) were targeting Josie with their candy. I think she out-collected both Grace and Dane by about half.

And that's all folks.

Harry Potter On Hold

2008-12-09T16:45:00.001-05:00

It turns out that reading a story about big, dark, invisible ghosty-things, to an eight-year-old, with an imagination, at bed-time can sometimes be a bad idea.

The Gracetress has been having nightmares. Guess who else hasn't been sleeping?

Needless to say, HP #'s 4-7 are on indefinite hold. Poor sweetie. We're on to happier stuff.

Prince Caspian, here we come! Or Ella Enchanted. Or Something.

My Back Is Killing Me

2008-12-04T13:45:00.000-05:00

And so the dearth of posts.

More when I can sit for longer than 10 minutes without wanting to die.

Harry Potter Party 3

2008-11-25T15:25:00.004-05:00

Here at Casa Halverson we are reading book 3 of HP. When we finish we will be having a HP Viewing Party.

Our first HP Viewing Party included popcorn and blankets on the couch. Oh, how inexperienced we were.

The second HP Party included black wizarding robes, Hermione-accidentally-turned-cat-face-esque Ears, and again, popcorn. We had learned.

The third viewing approaches and, as yet, we have nary a plan. Help me out, folks. You know the book: think escaped prisoner, wild animals, time turners... what else? I don't know which direction our décor or costumes should take. What would you do?

Keep in mind, it will be The Gracetress who will don said costume or be in charge of the décor. She loves this stuff. J and I are merely the Procurers of Movies and Things. I just like to have a few ideas in my arsenal to throw out there when she brings it up.

Ideas, anyone?

A Tale Of Two Bras

2008-11-25T15:23:00.001-05:00

Yep, that's right. I said bras.

This Spring I finally admitted to the universe that all was not perfect in my life. In fact, it was time for new bras. And a fitting to be sure that said bras were doing their best jobs: to lift and separate (don'cha know). Very important. I bought three and life returned to its regularly scheduled happiness.

This Summer, however, what with The Wee Beasties Incident and all, a tragedy occurred. I accidentally threw all three new bras into a super hot wash load that happened to also include Bright Red Things. Yes. My new beige, neutral-colored bras. Hot Water. Bright Red.

Sadly enough, one did not make it; both wires mysteriously missing, strange blue/gray/pinkish color, one of the hooks was broken. Did I mention there were also jeans in this load. And also, this was an Accident (read: not on purpose. I would NEVER do this on purpose!).

And then there were two.

The other two came out a lovely shade of mauve and only missing one wire between the four possible (if you're following). Fortunately, I found the rogue wire and put it back. Phew! But then I didn't have any appropriately colored bras for white shirts. Because really, nothing says "I dressed in the dark" or "I'm a skank so look at my bra" faster than a dark bra and a light shirt. (again, don'cha know).

Well, maybe you can see where this is going. I HAD to bleach one of them. Yes, I did. And it did lighten it. It also sped up the decline of said bra, about one-hundred fold. (insert head thrown back in a wail)

This month that rogue wire decided to go, well, rogue again. Only, it didn't just poke out. Oh no. It poked in. Ahem. Very uncomfortable. Things must be done. Or thing. Whatever.

And now I have new bras again.

What have we learned?
A) Never wash bras on anything other than delicate cycle (or hand wash, if you're not lazy or pressed for time like me)
2*) Never wash with Bright Colors
D) Don't Bleach Your Bra. It doesn't like it.

*Sorry, MJ, I totally stole this but it makes me laugh every time.

For The Ignorant and The Haters

2008-11-21T14:10:00.001-05:00

See what I did there? I'm that good.

RD -this thread is for all those who have not read the books, never intend to read the books, and will never even pick them up for perusal. No never. Yea verily.

So, this is the thread where you get to vent all your frustrations with the aforementioned books. That's how much I love you. I'm providing a safe-zone for criticizing something you've never experienced.

I'm the best wife ever.

Wha???

2008-11-21T10:06:00.000-05:00

People. If you read the book, please go see the movie. I need to have more people to talk to.

Go. Now.

Come back.

Discuss.

Thank you.

I'd Like To Buy An Indulgence,Please

2008-11-19T11:27:00.002-05:00

Wrong religion? Darn it.

It turns out that what I really want is not so much to confess my meanness as to receive absolution. J pointed this out to me last night. And it's true. I just want the guilty conscience to go away.

I need to go back to meditating. The thing is, it's hard for me to sit still for long enough to really have a meaningful experience. I think about Enos praying for a whole day and I just don't get it. What did he say for that long? Did he meditate for part of it? How did he fill the time?!

How do you all quiet your mind? How do you make yourself sit still? Or maybe you don't have to make yourself - you lucky dog. Still, I'm looking for strategies for meditation.

If you have any...you know where to find me. I'll be the one running in circles.

The Holiday For Lovers

2008-11-19T11:20:00.005-05:00

Yep, you guessed it. Valentine's is just around the bend. Time to get started planning. We're T-87 days until the big event.

So. Ideas anyone? Big plans? I'm sure if we put our collective heads together we can share the wealth of ideas.

Let's everyone getting lovin' and then we can get back together and plan.

No, really, Justin outdoes me every year. I need to step it up this year (well, technically next year but, whatever).

More to follow.

**Edited to add: The truth is, J makes the bed for me nearly every evening because I can not sleep (no, not ever) in a messy bed. The sheets have to be perfectly aligned and I can't/don't want to do it myself.

Also, on bad days he puts my shoes and socks on and even hooks my unmentionables.

So, when it comes to V-Day, if no flowers or chocolates are forth coming...well, I'll take the day-to-day kindnesses any day and buy myself the damn flowers.

That said, J still puts on a good show, more V-Days than not. I'd like to out-do him some day.

Confessions of A Secretly Mean Person

2008-11-18T16:10:00.004-05:00

It's important to me that you understand that I can be a mean person. Why? Just because. Maybe so you all will have lowered expectations and then when I do something nice you will be pleasantly surprised. There's just too much pressure in being known as a "nice person."

Sometimes I'm not nice!

I've done some mean things in my life. For some reason, they always come back to haunt me at night or when I slow down (metaphorically speaking) for too long. Naturally, I try to keep busy.

I HATE having my meanness come back to haunt me! Doesn't everyone? Sometimes I wonder if anyone else has been as mean as I have. Any of the really nice people I know (I mean you), who I think are wonderful — have you been mean, ever? Probably not.

If the truth be told (and it is, right here), many of the mean things I have done involved boys*. It just seems a more grievous sin to be mean to my own sex**. Don't we have it hard enough already? Unequal pay, subordination and then meanness from other women?! No. It is too much. We have to stick together, ladies.

We already have the built-in fights: college or not, married or not, kids or not, more-than-one or not, stay-at-home or not, preside or not, breast-feed or not, SO MANY THINGS. To borrow a phrase from the beloved Lola, we should be lovers, not haters.

This post has evolved into something I had not anticipated. Really, I was planning to confess all my meannesses and have done with it. Instead I want to ask, why can't we be friends?

No, really.

Women of the world, why can't we be friends? What gets in the way of us accepting each other? Beside the whole issue of not everyone will like us, individually. What is the reason that we can't decide to accept all women as they are? (Whether or not they accept us.)

Okay, turning the pointer back to myself: what's stopping me? I think firstly I'll need to tone down my sense of outrage and self-righteous indignation. That's going to be a tough one. I really enjoy the outrage.

Next... actually, that first one is a doozy. I'm going to work on that for now. Less outrage, here I come.

*Since writing this sentence ten minutes ago, I have been reminded of the many women/girls I have been mean to. In my defense, growing up with more sisters in the house than brothers puts one at a disadvantage when the meanness points get tallied. I'm just saying....

**Upon further reflection, if the above is not is not accurate (I have been mean to women and men equally), then I guess I'm an equal-opportunity-mean-distributor. Whoa. Watch out.

Various and Sundry IV

2008-11-14T13:22:00.004-05:00

At some point, you'll learn to skip over these posts as they're not very interesting, even to me. Until then, while I have someone's attention...

Where would one find an anthology of fairy tales? Not the traditional Grimm Brothers or Hans Christian Anderson. I'm thinking more Middle Eastern, Russian, African or even Nordic. I want to check out some new stories or different versions from ones I've grown up with. Any ideas?

Also, I found some fun new (new to me) books: The Ordinary Princess, by M. M. Kaye (I think this was recommended by amazon) and The Lightning Thief, by Rick Riordan (thanks to D.F.D. for that one). Both are great for kids, and apparently for moms pretending that they are reading, in advance, for their kids but are really just reading for their own pleasure. Good for them, too.

I came home from a girl's night, last night to find Grace still awake. She called me up to see her and had a very serious confession to make. It turns out that J had fallen asleep while they were watching a show together and Grace switched it to a TiVo'd Project Runway. "Mom. I knew it was getting late but I just had to see the clothes! Then I knew I should tell you. I stayed up until 9:23. I'm sorry." Dude, I stay up for the clothes, too.

In Twilight news, I won't be going to the midnight showing of the movie. What kind of fan am I?! The tired kind, I guess. How sad for me. So, confess, who's going to be there at midnight?

What Elephant?

2008-11-10T23:11:00.003-05:00

This is true: until this election period, I always thought that the donkey was for the GOP and the elephant for the Dems. How did I mix that up? Embarrassing but oh, so true.

Moving on from things I don't know.

In light of recent events, you may or may not have been reading Føfee. If you have, you may have been surprised, disappointed, interested, freaked out, or relieved at what you have read there. I don't know. You don't have to tell me. Clearly.

The purpose of my blog, however, has been to keep in touch with family and friends, post about The Gracestress and to express my many bewildered and bewildering thoughts on all things not political. Naturally, I slipped a little with the "not political" in the last couple of months—I am human.

J, however, has set no such constraints on himself and I admire his honesty and transparency in sharing his thoughts, ideas, frustrations and loves. I generally save my politicking for his blog.

What I have to say is this: I don't want my personal beliefs or disbeliefs to be a reason that we can't all get along. I can't stand the idea of offending anyone and driving a friend or family member away because of something I say or agree with (thus the aim at posting noncontroversial, one might even say milk toast, blog posts).

Isn't it possible for us to have differing, strongly held beliefs and continue to discourse? Or at least continue to make polite conversation until such time as we remember that we have many other things in common: books, movies, books, life experiences, books, friends, perhaps clothes (sorry, I'll return what I've borrowed, eventually).

Everyone here has always been kind, loving and above reproach. So I'm not really addressing this to my lovelies. I just know that both the election and Prop 8 have been a really big deal for a long time and we all feel differently about each of those things. I hope that won't stand in the way of the continued sharing of funny stories, the telling of deep, dark secrets, and the various and sundry other things we talk about. Not to mention the pictures. Oh, the pictures.

I love you all. I'm striving to be more honest about who I am. I'm still figuring out where I'm going with all of this. (If you're thinking, "A hot place," stop that! It's bad karma!) I'm thinking about Gandhi and MLK, Jr a lot these days. I'm thinking a lot about President Hinckley's call for greater decency and understanding. I'm pondering his invitation to welcome all truths into our communities.

Here I am.

My Fair Gracie

2008-11-10T22:57:00.003-05:00

Grace and I had a Girl's Day on Saturday. We went to the library, dropped stuff off at Goodwill and perused their aisles a bit. We got our nails done and had lunch at a pizza place.

We went to the mall, picked up a new pair of "church shoes"—if the shoes are not designated as "for church only and forever, no, don't ask if you can wear them to school again" then they get worn to school and scuffed up and then the mom isn't so happy anymore. Flip flops (albeit nice ones) aren't cutting it, what with our colder weather and all.

We stopped in and got some sunglasses for The Gracestress—got to protect those baby blues. We met our favorite people at Sam's and got ourselves invited over, which apparently was in Grace's master plan all along. Good thing it worked out. Thanks, guys.

We ended by stopping in at Target and I let her pick out a dollar slinky. All the way home she sang, Rogers and Hammerstein-style, "The slinky is the greatest gift. The greatest gift of all, the slinky is." And so on. In her most soulful, sincere voice. Also, girl's got volume. And there's no end to the lyrics once she gets going.

Had I known that the slinky would be the hit of our 12-hour day, I think I would have gotten it a little earlier.

But seriously, isn't this the baby going for the gift box all over again? When will I ever learn?

Yes We Can

2008-11-05T09:45:00.000-05:00

I'm so happy right now.

Too Verclempt

2008-11-04T16:42:00.003-05:00

I already couldn't sleep last night as I considered the outcomes of today's election. J did his best to talk me down and then couldn't sleep himself. Poor guy. For the record, J was the one reminding me, "family before politics."

Fortunately for family relations, he also suggested it would be in poor taste to title my next blog entry, "If you voted for McCain, we can no longer be friends". He assures me, on either side of the aisle, what we really need is to get along and strive for understanding before guns.

A few other people had these ideas in mind as well. I wanted to point them out, in case you haven't already read them.

Big thanks to Christian for sharing this. I'll need to see if I live close enough to anyone willing to admit to my face that they voted opposite me. And I'll need to play nice. Maybe I'll wait 'til after the election to see how I'm feeling about this one.

Also to Darin and Dave for sharing this. I LOVE this post and agree with so much of it. Sadly, as always happens, it was taken in the wrong way by some. However, I think it's a fantastic way of broaching what Christian suggested in his post.

And because I so often agree with RD. Not so much conciliatory but certainly well-thought out. Would you expect anything less of the man I love?!

Anywho, BBQ anyone?

Also, tomorrow, let's all go back to being the best of friends. Happy voting.

A Question and A (possible) Confession

2008-11-01T09:29:00.002-04:00

Question: Is is possible I was subconsciously influenced by the works of S. Meyers when choosing my current hair color? Just a thought that occurred to me the other day.

Confession: I think you know.

PS -Maudie Jane don't pretend you haven't had the same thought.

Hey

2008-11-01T09:21:00.004-04:00

Hello there, all. I seem to have lost a couple of blogger weeks. Busy life, cranky body, Halloween, you know the drill. To Erika and Nicea, I missed you guys too.

As a peace offering here are a few never-before-seen pics of Frida Kahlo as a child:

And with her dear friend Diego Rivera:

Street Cred

2008-10-15T13:13:00.003-04:00

I've noticed an unexpected side-effect of dying my hair; Grace's friends think I'm very cool. Hey, whatever it takes. I'm clearly not going to be the mom handing out condoms or buying them beer, but I can totally keep it real in the hair department. Nice.

Grace is the smartest, bestest, most beautiful daughter ever. Yes, she is. Of course, yours are too; let's not fight. Last night Grace and I had a conversation about wanting to grow up to be beautiful. She's concerned that it's not going to happen:
"I mean, Mom. I look like a little kid. I don't want to look like this forever."
But then she said:
"I just want to be respected for who I am. I feel like my friends don't let me just be myself and respect me."

Um, yeah. That's what we all want. We then talked about all the people who love her and respect her. If you're reading right now, your name was probably mentioned (unless I don't know you, in which case, I'm sure you're a lovely person and maybe your name will make the list next time). Thank you all for being on that list. It meant a lot to her to hear your names.

I remember this time in my life so well. Of course I wanted to have friends and fit in. Of course I wanted to be beautiful. (I also wanted to always wear my older sisters' clothes.) The struggle for respect among friends was a hard thing to go through, and even as an adult it can be unpleasant.*

I wish so much that I could convey to Grace how little the spats she has with friends will matter as she gets older. She won't care when she's thirty if she didn't get to hear the secrets the other girls were telling each other. Being told she's not rich enough(?!) isn't really a big deal (yes, a little girl totally told her that. You better believe I wanted to call her up and say mean things, but water under the bridge. Not to mention, who even cares about that in third grade?!)

But that's not entirely true. The person she becomes and the coping mechanisms she develops as a result of her childhood experiences will shape the adult she becomes. We all had to go through it, right? We all survived. We're all mostly nice and normal. Kids are resilient, right?

I don't want Grace to feel that she has to fit a mold and act in a way contrary to her nature to be accepted. Cue appropriate books, movies, conversations. What have you, did you, will you tell your daughters (okay, and sons too) when this stuff comes up?

I really wish children were born with the collective understanding of both their parents. Children would have more perspective on the short span of childhood. Maybe they would enjoy it more, knowing that life only gets more complicated. Think how wicked smart each new generation would be. Nothing could possibly go wrong with that.

Until then, we're going to need so many more conversations.

*BTW, I have awesome, wonderful, lovely, wicked smart friends. Thank you all.

A Farewell to Like and MissKitti Goes Brown

2008-10-12T17:03:00.005-04:00

I say the word 'like' entirely too much. How embarrassing for me. In an effort to stop embarrassing myself I am trying to only use the word 'like' in case of emergency. It's a lot harder than one might think.

Who knew that my inner child is actually a teenaged-valley girl? Yes, it's true. So. Please bear with me if we are talking and I suddenly seem tongue-tied; I'm merely trying to say something without the use of my secret favorite word.

What word can you not live without?

And. Me with new and improved color:
Yep, that's right. I'm a newly minted brunette. I totally admit to being inspired by Lauren's own fabulous brown locks.

New Information on SIDS

2008-10-08T11:36:00.003-04:00

Click on the title to read the article, if you feel so inclined.

Interesting. Also, I'm so happy to see that SIDS-related infant mortality has gone down.

Conference Weekend?

2008-10-06T09:58:00.001-04:00

While listening to conference on Saturday morning, first talk of the day,

Grace in sotto voce, "Mom, I just filled FIVE MINUTES of time! Just like that! I filled five minutes."

Um. Yeah. I didn't get to listen to much conference the weekend. I do remember a talk on hope. Would anyone like to fill me in on a few details?

In Other News

2008-10-03T16:33:00.001-04:00

GingerGold is the new way to go in apples. Honey Crisp is a close second and a nod goes to Pink Ladies.

Any other honorable mentions?

Well Played, Joe Biden

2008-10-03T13:51:00.003-04:00

And to S.P.- not so bad. She clearly had talking points that she was asked to stick with: energy, taxes, the word 'maverick', and being middle-class.

Hated the winking -I found it both annoying and insulting, but whatever. The bottom line, she didn't provide SNL with as many jokes for this week. Definitely a plus. And now we are all aware that she is a middle-class mom trying to make ends meet (yes, heavy sarcasm intended).

Senator Biden -he was able to answer the actual questions with specific examples, less skirting around the issues. He addressed criticism towards McCain, which is appropriate as SP hasn't been on the radar long enough to be anything other than a face (sorry, but it's true, unless you live in Alaska and I would totally say this even if she were a he).

All in all, a good debate and it left me with the same impressions that I had to begin with. Biden good for the job, able to reign in the speechifying. SP needs more experience, also one hell of a fighter.

I've discussed the experience issue with coworkers and we all agree that there is a certain amount of on the job training. A learning curve, if you will. One can't know what it is to be President or VP until one has walked in those shoes. Granted.

However, there needs to be a certain base of knowledge already in place to effectively build on. In the case of SP, there's no shame in not being familiar with foreign policy or the Bush Doctrine. However, being as she's running for VP, she needs to already know this stuff. She doesn't have time to play catch-up. Just my opinion.

I appreciated that Biden acknowledged that, while he does come from more modest roots, he is now well-off and does not fit into the 'middle-class'. Also, that he admitted that the office of VP doesn't really get to set policies or legislate. Important information to understand.

Who did you like? What were your impressions? More importantly, Can we still be friends?

Please Watch The Vice-Presidential Debate Tonight

2008-10-02T10:11:00.000-04:00

Then let's talk tomorrow.

A Woman In Grey*

2008-09-30T15:57:00.005-04:00

First of all, go read this interview. Secondly, Jessica Day George rocks. Even if I didn't love her books, which I do, I would buy them. Just to support her literary view of women. I approve big time.

The interviewer gets JDG to talk about what she doesn't like about how women are sometimes portrayed in literature. This is my favorite passage:

JDG: When the girl does save the day, but does so by, essentially, becoming a man. (William Shakespeare, she’s talking to you!) Dressing as a man, short hair, ultra-butch, sometimes even having to conceal her identity and live as a man completely, in order to earn the right to fight her own battles. No. NoNoNoNoNo! There is no reason why a girl who also enjoys high fashion cannot pick up the candlestick and knock the evil wizard unconscious. There is no reason why a woman cannot be a military strategist and still knit as a hobby, or have kids, or enjoy riding off into the sunset with a tall handsome guy on a white horse when the battle is won. So I write my heroines the way I like to think I am: smart, funny, tough, and well-dressed! In short: normal. It isn’t a fluke when a girl saves the day, she isn’t a freak of nature. She’s a heroine, the equal of a hero.

Seriously, go read the interview if you haven't. It's not long and you might even like it. Also, I have it on good authority (another awesome author, "Hi Michele") that JDG is super nice. I always love to hear that.

I've talked on and on, ad naseum, about wanting Grace to have positive role models in the books she reads. I've been reading up a storm in preparation for her soon-to-be great love of reading, just in case. I'm collecting books and lists of books like mad -thank you everyone for contributing to that cause.

Back to the quote. "It isn’t a fluke when a girl saves the day, she isn’t a freak of nature. " And this is often the case. When I read about this strong, normal, heroine -she is unusual within her society. She stands out. Is this because a woman such as JDG describes would automatically stand out in a real world or because she needs to stand out as the main character? Which is it, do you think?

I'd like to hope she stands out only because she needs to for the purposes of storytelling.** I like to think that this strong, normal heroine is part of a society that produces women just like her and she is what she is. Am I wrong to hope?

I'm finding more stories to suit this vein of thinking and it's great. Hermione is a start. Miri is another (Princess Academy -it's not Disney, don't get turned off by the title). You can read it in every one of JDG's stories.

So, anyhow, I loved this interview. I'll keep looking for the SIW -strong independent woman (thanks Lauren and Eric for that phrase) in books and real life. But now you know what I think.

*as opposed to black and white (you now, helpless or uber-witchy)
**did you get that, J -I actually used the phrase 'purposes of storytelling' please don't shun me later

Talk To The Hand Smurf Goes Native

2008-09-29T08:19:00.002-04:00

I don't know what that means but it amuses me.

On Saturday Grace and I went downtown with Camille and Kgordee for a little shopping adventure amid the football crowd.

At a random jewelry shop, Kgordee found a brain-teaser-type toy and quickly picked it up and solved it. He started to show Grace how it worked and couldn't seem to get it to work as quickly the second time. Finally, Grace lost patience and here is what she said,

"Kgordee, why don't you buy it and take it home and work on it. Send me a letter when you solve it."

And she moved on. Um, ow. Better watch your back, Grace.

Also, should you come to visit between now and election day. Be prepared to answer Grace's questions regarding who you will be voting for. Then be prepared to defend your answer if it's not Obama. I swear we did not put her up to this. (But I must say I am pleased.)

Tagged By Moddy

2008-09-24T15:35:00.002-04:00

Because I can't resist answering questions, taking quizzes*, making up answers:

What was I doing 5 years ago?

Working part time as a research dietitian, helping Grace get used to her new daycare, starting to come out of my clothing funk, crushing on Justin.

Pet Peeves
-being cold in the morning when I have to get out of my warm bed
-clothing tags -they feel terrible against my skin
-crusty people
-people who hold grudges -c'mon, forgive and move on, stop with the stink-eye already!

Pet Peeves Related to Reading (yes, really, what?!)
-(stolen from Moddy) when the library doesn't have the book I'm dying to read
-not being able to get the book I want IMMEDIATELY (or faster)
-not owning the book I'm dying to read
-this is an oldy but goody: pictures of people on the covers of the books I'm reading -eww, let me just imagine it

Things I would do if I were a Billionaire**

Don't think I didn't have this planned out years ago. Of course, I was just thinking a million would do.

So, all the usual stuff: houses for me and mine, cars, trips, charitable contributions, personal library to rival that of the one in Beauty and The Beast, trust funds for the kids (there was always the plural in mind).

Moddy hit on a great one: socks. Totally. All the socks.

I think billions is too much to spend. It would have to be spread over a lot of people and we could all come up with our own ways to continue to spread the wealth. Charter schools, literacy programs, etc.

Oh and I would want to fix the next presidential race. Would billions be enough?

Favorite Foods

Always the Mexican

*I think this might be me trying to make up for being such a poor tester in school. Seriously, I can talk myself out of a right answer faster than a speedo-wizard.

**I think the correct answer here is "nothing different, I am perfectly content with my life", but I'm not and therefore I want.

Favorite Conversations

2008-09-24T09:51:00.003-04:00

This morning at the bus-stop:

Grace: Mom, yesterday I was a good example to a bee.

Me: ??

Grace: Yep. I just sat still and showed him he didn't have to sting me. Then he went away.

Last night at dinner:

Grace: 'Eeney-meeney' isn't fair any more. It used to be far but now it's not.

Me: ??

Grace: Because look: [goes through 'eeney-meeny'], see it always ends up on the other person. It used to be fair but now it's not. With 'bubble-gum-bubble-gum' at least you can put two feet in. That's fair.

Me: okay.

The Internets Would Like To Welcome Miss Moddy

2008-09-24T09:49:00.001-04:00

You can read more here. I'm so glad you've come to play.

In Which MissKitti Profoundly Apologizes To The Universe

2008-09-22T11:13:00.002-04:00

I am SO sorry.

Okay, the guilt of not speaking in glowing terms about my calling is killing me. Killing Me!, I say. The shame is too much. I must make amends.

Really, all there is to say is that the children I taught are each lovely in their very own ways. Each possess charms, talents and, abilities that are uniquely their own. When pressed, I say they're elegant. (thank you, Jane Austen)

Each class member I've had is very intelligent and certainly very capable. Whether I could interest them enough to join in the lesson was always variable.We had some good discussions and some mediocre ones and there were some discussions that should have happened that didn't.

No really, lovely children all. And I'm sorry for not saying that to begin with.

In Which MissKitti Returns To The Adult Class

2008-09-22T08:06:00.004-04:00

I'm not going to lie, folks. I'm pretty excited to be going back to Relief Society.

I was called to be the RS Secretary on Sunday. Sweet. (I hope.) I have no idea what all that entails. I'm sure it will be great, whatever it is.

For the next little while, I'll be playing double duty until someone is called to replace me as teacher to the ten-year-olds. Everyone assures me this will happen quickly. I hope so -no RS until then.

It's not that I didn't love my calling in the Primary. Or like it, often. The presidency and other teachers are totally great and sweet and very helpful. And I often enjoyed the children. I also really liked singing time.

However, it turns out I don't have a lot in common with ten-year-old boys. Other than books -they gave some really good reading suggestions. Fablehaven, anyone? Artmeis Fowl? (To be fair, Burton and Tracy have been recommending these for years.) Spiderwick. Unfortunately, the Book of Mormon isn't on their list of "must reads".

So, while books other than the BoM can take up a portion of the lesson time, at some point we're going to have to get to the whole point of their being in Sunday School. Yep. And then the sound effects start. And the crawling around and under the chairs. Sometimes the throwing of things. The spontaneous shouting or calling out -not to be confused with speaking in tongues. Sweet boys, all, just still working on impulse and volume control.*

I've started to see my class as cosmic justice. I was not what you would call a quiet and sedate child in my Primary-going years. Oh no. I remember many Sundays having to sit in Grandpa's chair, after church, to practice being reverent.

Quick note on 'grandpa's chair' for the uninitiated: my Grandpa was an amazing carpenter-wood worker. He often built things for his kids and grandkids: beautiful cedar chests, plant stands, roll-top bread boxes (Mom, I really want yours), toy boxes, many things. He made us two oak chairs. Very functional and sturdy and lovely to look at. Also, not especially comfortable if you're a little kid and your legs don't reach the floor and the seat of the chair hits at an awkward spot on the back of your knees. And the backs are hard. People with bad backs love these chairs.

So. If we didn't sit reverently in church -all three hours- we had to sit in Grandpa's chair when we got home. Half-hour, hour, whatever. We learned to be reverent, let me tell you. I think my parents were on to something. Surprisingly enough, I really like those chairs now.

Moving on. I spent a lot of time alternately visiting the Bishop's office (who was my dad for five of those years) and sitting in Grandpa's chair. Which translates, roughly, to me not being a favorite with the teachers in Primary. Bless their little hearts.

Anywho, I'm sure I'll take another (many more) turn(s) in Primary. I'll try harder to be a better teacher. More fun lessons and all that. But for now, WAHOO! I'm going to Relief Society!

*if you're the parent of any of the above, and I don't think you are, don't feel bad. i'm sure my kid is giving her teacher a run for her money at least occassionally. we all raise our kids the best we can and hope they don't torture their teachers. no hard feelings.

Sometimes I Wonder

2008-09-18T14:13:00.006-04:00

Are people really only mean because they are insecure? Or are there just mean people who also happen to be insecure?

Because I've met some mean people and they really seemed to think they were awesome. Maybe mean, insecure people are also very good actors.

Someone should study that.

Various and Sundry III

2008-09-18T14:13:00.003-04:00

It turns out that grass tea tastes better with other herbal teas mixed in. So far I have tried: lemon, mandarin orange, orange spice. All greatly improve the flavor of grass. Just so you know.
Cereal, when purchased in small, individual-sized boxes, tastes way better than the same cereal in a larger box.
At least, they taste better if you're eight and your mean old mom is making you eat some thing for breakfast and the dumb breakfast cookies (yes- breakfast cookies, made by Quaker and they are yummy, with fiber and whole oats) aren't very appealing and she refuses to buy cereal straws because something about "just like candy" and yogurt is not appealing this week. Yeah.
Plus-sized jeans are not just bigger in the waist, as I previously thought. If you get them for a regular sized girl, thinking they will give her a little more room in the waistel region, then you will be wrong. They will be at least a full size too big and look similar to saggy-baggy elephant skin when worn to school.
And then you'll be kind'a sad that you didn't try them on your daughter two months ago (when they were on sale at gapkids) when you could have just returned them. Sigh. At least she can wear them for the next couple of years.
You should always check under your kids sweaters before they go to school. If not, you might discover, on arriving home at the end of the day, that your child has in fact thrown a sweater over the shirt she wore to bed that she wore under another sweater so that I would not notice that she was wearing the same shirt to bed that she wore to school that day.
For at least the last half of the day she will have taken her sweater off so that everyone will know that her parents let her go to school for two days in a row with the same shirt on. Naturally.
Apparently, it was very comfortable. And it was from Grandma Natalie. She really likes it. When questioned about this, your child might respond, "What?! Oh, I forgot."
You might then considering questioning your parenting skills. But don't give into it. You're just making all the other parents feel better that someone else misses things too. And you're making it easier for your kid's teacher to pick your kid out of a crowd. Good times all around.
Would you count the tomato sauce on a slice of Sbarro's pizza as a serving of fruit or vegetable? Because I was leaning toward vegetable but I don't want to anger the fruit party.
Tomato. Tomahto.

Speaking of 19th Century Novels...

2008-09-17T14:38:00.004-04:00

Take the Quiz here!

I've always found Elinor Dashwood to be a perfectly lovely woman. And she always looks like E.T., in my mind. Could be because I saw the movie before reading the book.

So. Which Austen heroine are you?

Thanks so much, Erika, for sharing. I love these quizzes.

And Now For An Inflammatory Post

2008-09-17T09:44:00.002-04:00

Actually, I meant "anti-inflammatory". But whatever.

Surely I can't be the only one considering aching joints these days. If so, well then move right along. This post is not for you.

The following has to do with dietary practices to help reduce inflammation. Which should help alleviate soreness and joint stiffness. Which would help the (above-) average arthritis suffer to suffer less. Good idea, no?

The Arthritis Foundation puts out a magazine every couple of months that shares arthritis-related studies and research that may be helpful to its readership (that's me). This last installment featured several useful pieces of information, of which I will be sharing two or three with y'all. Good stuff.

Before I begin, let me just state that the information shared is based on scientifically conducted studies by scientists, who are not me, and I do paraphrase. If you'd like real references, please follow the links and then follow those links. You will see the words "may" and "might" because these people are cautious and also because they want to cover their hienders against lawsuits.

Also, please understand that I'm not recommending the replacement of medicines, only the addition of good dietary habits. They can work in tandem. (I would never stop taking my meds. They make me feel good, why would I do that?!)

Now, on to the helpful interesting stuff:

An apple a day really is good for you. See here:

"Apples also may help fight inflammation. They lower levels of CRP – a marker of inflammation that can spike during a rheumatoid arthritis flare – according to a review of data from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey, a government database. And you don’t even have to take the time to slice an apple: Along with those who ate apples, people who ate applesauce or drank apple juice tended to have lower blood pressure and a smaller waistline than those who didn’t consume apples."

Higher amounts of fiber = better for you:

"Fiber is good for the heart, may prevent some cancers and now appears to lower C-reactive protein (CRP), an indicator of inflammation found in the blood. A high CRP level signals general inflammation and could indicate anything from an infection to rheumatoid arthritis to heart disease."

Also, the tested amount of fiber was 27-28gm/day. Just so you know. Side note: there are many things that amaze and delight me about my mom. One of them happens to be that she is the Fiber Queen. She includes more fiber in her diet (30g for breakfast) than anyone I know. She is Awesome. And she doesn't have arthritis. Coincidence?

Probiotics = happy digestion. Probiotics being the good bacteria in your digestive tract. Not really inflammatory-related but interesting, nonetheless. I'm always interested in keeping my GI tract happy and healthy.

Green tea: a natural medication? Inquiring minds are working on this one. It looks like including green tea in the diet may help to reduce the effects of RA. How nice would that be? Very. I know how my biologic drugs have helped, which is to say SO MUCH. Having a natural addition to that may very well put me into running marathons. You never know. (Actually I do know -I hate running, even before RA.) Maybe I could do a bike race with Burton. We shall see.

What about the WoW, you may ask? To that I say, indeed. I follow the word of wisdom and I also want to take care of my body. If green tea will improve my body's ability to function, then I will drink it. Methotrexate is a drug used for abortion -I have no qualms taking it. If you have a compelling argument to the contrary please let me know. (I'm not saying it's impossible, I just haven't thought of one I would accept.)

Okay. Now what I want to know is, how soon can I expect to see the benefits of my good habits?. I ate a FiberOne bar for breakfast washed it down w/ a DanActive drinkable yogurt. Then I had a cup of green tea (which tastes like essence of grass -eww). I will be eating two small gala apples with my lunch.

So. I should be running circles around Grace by dinner. Right, guys? Guys?

Things I've Learned in PA II

2008-09-16T16:16:00.002-04:00

Red-up - means to tidy up, to do a quick cleaning before guests arrive. Not to be confused with deep cleaning or Spring cleaning.
Run the Sweeper -same as to vacuum
Chipped-ham BBQ -traditional food to be eaten while watching a Steelers' game
Ham Pot Pie -surprisingly is not a pie but whoa, it is good, homemade noodles included

Just so you know.

Anyone Can Be President?

2008-09-16T15:27:00.003-04:00

I don't accept the notion that having a president you'd want as a bar-buddy is a good idea. If s/he's really intelligent, has a good range of life experiences, great ideas and means to get them done -well, I imagine s/he would be interesting as a dinner companion. And that's great.

However, if our first criteria for president is that s/he be just like (the collective) us -we totally deserve what we get. Which in my mind, is a country at war and a failing economy. Oh wait.

I'd like a president who is willing to talk to my higher instincts rather than "meet me at my level". I'd like the president to see the big picture of our country's needs. I'd also like to know that s/he can get members of both parties to work together for the profit of The People. I'd also like to know that the president can play nice on a global scale.

Given all these high-minded ideas, is there a candidate to satisfy?

A friend of mine, K., gave me an article from the Parade (in the Sunday edition of the paper). The article is written by Doris Kearns Goodwin, entitled, "The Secrets of America's Great Presidents". It's a look at what qualities are important in a president, using Abraham Lincoln and Franklin Roosevelt as examples. It's an excellent article and I would encourage anyone who has access to this week's Parade to look it up.

Just in case you don't get the Sunday paper (I don't), the main points are listed below. An American President should have:

The courage to stay strong -A.L.'s rise above poverty, FDR's rise above paralysis
Self-confidence -both former presidents chose for their cabinets people who disagreed with them politically and vocally, so as to have all sides represented and the best ideas put forward
An ability to learn from errors -both presidents admitted errors and changed policies as needed
A willingness to change -see #3
Emotional intelligence -A.L. "shared successes and shouldered public blame for failures from subordinates"; FDR was able to encourage others to rise to their potential, to do their jobs well
Self control -A.L. would write "hot letters" when angered by someone else and then set it aside to deal with the issue calmly. He would apologize for offenses given; FDR was noted for his calm under calamity, reasoning over the next steps to be taken
A popular touch -both presidents made themselves aware of what everyday citizens needed and expected from their governments, they were accessible (as much as possible) to their country-people.
A moral compass -A.L. refused to give up on emancipation; FDR chose to support England against Hitler; both because they felt it was the right choice
A capacity to relax -FDR would host a cocktail hour in the evening with a strict no business policy; A.L. was known for his sense of humor and long-winded tales
A gift for inspiring others -both presidents were able to "convey their convictions with stories and metaphors, as well as a profound sense of history and a love of poetry and drama."

Marvelous, I know. Again, Doris Kearns Goodwin is the author and the whole article is worth reading.

Anywho, I feel inspired to go look closely at both candidates and make a choice.

Yes, I Can

2008-09-15T14:04:00.007-04:00

Okay. I've thought long and hard about this. I was never going to touch politics on this blog. (edited to add: that's not entirely true. It was always in the back of my mind. I just didn't think I'd really do it.) However, a line has been crossed and now I'm mad. SO, knowing that the following may or may not jive with your personal view of all things political; read at your own risk.

I wanted to write a post about a person who shall not now be named (rhymes with "tail'in) -I don't want to add to her attention grab. I am sick of her assertions of things that are twisted truths (one might also assert, outright lies).

Perhaps I should give her the benefit of the doubt -ignorance regarding the facts, unfamiliarity with the issues, whatever. Given that this is an election year and she is actually on the freakin' ticket, not so much.*

The aformentioned "twisted truths" are various and sundry statements made regarding Obama, assertions about McCain's character (it's true, there's no love lost there, but still) and her own political leanings. Also, taking earmarked money for something, saying 'no thanks', keeping that money anyway and using it for something else does not equal change or mavrick-ness, or anything other than outright dishonesty and shadiness. I'm just saying.

In an effort to remain more positive (because that's what I do), I shall instead provide for you the facts as they stand on one specific issue: Obama's tax plan. Decide for yourself, but please use correct information.

Obama's Comprehensive Tax Policy Plan for America will:

Cut taxes for 95 percent of workers and their families with a tax cut of $500 for workers or $1,000 for working couples.
Provide generous tax cuts for low- and middle-income seniors, homeowners, the uninsured, and families sending a child to college or looking to save and accumulate wealth.
Eliminate capital gains taxes for small businesses, cut corporate taxes for firms that invest and create jobs in the United States, and provide tax credits to reduce the cost of healthcare and to reward investments in innovation.
Dramatically simplify taxes by consolidating existing tax credits, eliminating the need for millions of senior citizens to file tax forms, and enabling as many as 40 million middle-class Americans to do their own taxes in less than five minutes without an accountant.

Obama Factsheet
Key Facts about Obama and Taxes
Information courtesy of Jill Gochanour (HarrisburgPAforObama)

Other areas in which I agree with Obama:

free agency
individual responsibility to our country
individual responsibility to our communities (community organizers, anyone?)
belief in the need for real change
speaking well is not a sign of the devil -it just means you can speak well and have a good command of the English Language (albeit, not necessarily the Queen's English)

For any other questions, please seek the following websites:
Obama -granted, if you live in UT, it doesn't really matter who you like, but tell your friends anyway
McCain -I will say this, his menu page should be very stirring to LDS. ("Called To Serve, anyone?")

Also, feel free to email if you feel the need to set me straight.

*and please know that I realize both sides are trying to look better than the other guy. I'm just more inclined toward the other, other guy.

Things I've learned in PA

2008-09-15T13:54:00.003-04:00

Did you know that black and red, when worn together, are "ho" colors? Me neither. But now we all know. Be sure to dress accordingly. (Unfortunate, really, because I love pairing red earrings with an all black outfit.) Perhaps I've been sending the wrong message all these years.

Maybe there are loop-holes to this rule. Anyone?

Also, to anyone who has known of this rule and didn't set me straight, "I thought friends never let friends go out looking like a street walker?!" Where's the love?

My Own Personal Ebert and Roper

2008-09-08T14:06:00.006-04:00

Alternately titled: I hear voices.

I've been told that we are each our own worst critic. I sincerely hope so. My inner critic is usually pretty brutal. I have to justify and explain my every action -to MYSELF. Except that the voice of my inner critic usually takes the form of characters from the books I read. And many times the male characters. Hmm. What does that say about me? My need for approval from guys? Something terrible, I'm sure. But let's talk about that another time.

Every waking moment of my life (and some times in my dreams) I'm justifying my actions. Answering to the critic in my head, "I did this because...", "I chose that because...". It's tiring and yet it's very hard for me to not do it. The need to explain or offer apologia (correct use?) seems to be a basic component of my make-up. Maybe someone should research that.

I can't really say when I started doing this 24/7. I don't think I always did. Perhaps it started in part because there have always been so many things I've wanted to do or be: a good singer, a dancer, concert pianist, actress, model, rocket scientist, English Lit professor, a super hero (think Wonder Woman -complete with looking hot in hot pants and go-go boots). So Many Things. When the impossibility of most of those things crashed down around me, perhaps I had to think of reasons why.

When a boy I had a crush on didn't notice me -I needed to know why. When someone was mean at school -again, why? And so began my constant search for, and answer to, my own questions. I guess at some point those questions took more of an inward bent. So now I still wonder why people do the things they do (and incidentally experience more outrage and self-righteous indignation when I disagree) but I'm far more critical of my own "what for's".

Which is odd because, as irritating as this is to others, I also think I'm a perfectly nice person and who wouldn't love me. Really. I generally expect that people will like me and they usually do. At the same time, however, I'm always afraid of offending or disappointing. Weird. Conflicted much?

Anywho, back to the inner critic. I have a constant stream of dialog in my head of what I'm doing and why and, more tiring, what I'm NOT doing and why. Doing the dishes but leaving the stove-top messy. Sweeping but not mopping. Straightening but not vacuuming. Getting up early to exercise but not for long enough OR eating the calories I burned off. Wearing make-up or being natural -wanting to be natural but not loving the look. Making Grace's lunch but only including a vegetable rather than both fruit and veg. Passing my classes but just barely. Graduating but with no minor. Ad nauseum.

And then there's the inner critic comparing me to the characters that I read about. Not brave enough, not strong enough, not born in the right era, not not not. But, given that I think I'm great, I'm constantly arguing back. Yes I am, yes I am. I'm always trying to tell myself that I'm okay as I am. What I do, whatever I do, is enough and it's fine.

Sometimes my happy voice wins out and sometimes it doesn't. When it doesn't I tend to want to avoid people. One less voice to answer to. If that makes sense. This is probably another reason why I don't like talking on the phone. (actually, I'm always looking for excuses for that one. I just don't. That's why.)

It's tiring never being alone in my own head.

What do you struggle with?

Chasing The Dragon

2008-09-05T09:26:00.006-04:00

Reading a novel is sometimes like sex.

And begin.

In my current world, there are two types of books: books that are satisfying and books that are not. Things were not always thus. It has just recently (read: last year or so) come to be. And due to the aforementioned summary I will also say this: there is only one type of sex: that of the satisfying nature. In case there were any questions. Oh and also, I am promiscuous with my books only. Fidelity in marriage (or whatever the appropriate wording is).

My reading process is as follows:

1. Hear/read of a new book; anticipation starts

2. Search for the book; mounting anticipation and excitement

3. Obtain said book and begin; experience joy of reading and excitement as the plot unfolds and the characters are revealed

4. Halfway through the book, I am feeling (if it is):

a) Very good — twinge of sadness that it’s already half over, slight wish to prolong the inevitable finishing and yet unable to slow down, still happy, still excited

b) not so good — hope that it will get better, desire to start skimming for the good stuff, annoyance at that thought, determination to see it through (which wins out in 75% of the cases)

c) terrible — I’ve been skimming since the second chapter in the hope of finding something redeeming (in which case I would start the book over and re-read — this rarely happens), at the half-way mark and it’s still no good. I skip whole chapters as I’m skimming, in a hurry to get it over with and be done, (Note: I still take credit for having read the book because I at least can discuss what I don’t like about it and technically I have experienced the book, albeit not as the author intended or would have hoped (that’s the authors fault, y’all; s/he should have written a better book)

5. Five pages from the ending:

a) very good books — well, let’s just say I’m torn between HUGE excitement to know how it ends and a tiny bit of sadness and regret that it’s nearly over (which continues to grow the closer I get to the end)

b) Not so good — at this point I know if the books falls into either a) or c)

c) terrible — I’ve already skipped to the last page and read it thoroughly to see if I missed something profound about the plot (unlikely — but I will plan to talk to J about it, just in case he’s read it and can tell me what really happened and what his opinion is. These days he hasn’t read most of what I’m reading because he’s not interested, which means the book really does stink. It used to be that we were more in sync and a good discussion would ensue.) HUGE regret that I’ve wasted time on this book — I can’t actually remember the last time this happened, Maudie Jane or J can you help me out there?

6. Finish the book, YES! So great, revel in the joy of a good book, pause to relive the highlights, consider re-reading it immediately, flip through it for my favorite parts, mull it over for a few days, consider waking J up to talk about it (even if he hasn’t read the book he is all too happy to hear about it and discuss the topics it has brought up. See why I love this man?!)

Most (the good parts) of this process reminds me of something…wait for it…oh yeah…sex.

So, you can see there would be a problem if most of the books I’m reading lately are not satisfying. I’m accustomed to being satisfied.

I read a good, even great book, and still I feel like it shouldn’t be over yet. I’m left wanting. A little part of me dies (or doesn’t, if you’re still with me) inside. (No, I’m kidding, but it made me laugh to write it).

So. Being me and being married to my own personal book guru, I talked to J. Why am I not satisfied with my books?!! (Yes, I totally wailed. And cried a little bit, too. I’m way too invested in my book experience.) Why am I not happy when I finish a book I enjoyed?!

And thus began the conversation in which we talked about brain candy and reader-involvement and depth and great writing. J’s theory, which I agree with, is that I don’t have to invest much in what I read and I’m only getting out of a book what I’m really putting into it.

True. Even books that leave me devastated and sad, if they are well written, will also make me feel satisfied. Like I accomplished something by reading it or learned something or grew.

Good examples of this are: Blindness –devastatingly beautiful
The Brothers K –same
King Lear

Many of the books I’ve chosen this year give me everything I need to know on a platter. I don’t have to search for anything or stretch within my own experience to relate. I finish a book the same person I was when I started. Entertained? Yes. Satisfied? Not so much.

Admittedly, the stretching and learning/growth is not always what I want. Sometimes it’s too much. When we lived in UT, there was a period when I read Schindler’s List, Angela’s Ashes and The Brothers Karamazov all within a short period of time. By the time I started Crime and Punishment I was overwhelmed. Words were exchanged. There were tears (on my part). A book was thrown. Yes, it’s true — don’t judge me — it was a rough couple of months.

After that, the reading of those types of books has been more interspersed with lighter reading. Then, as my life has seemed more complex, sometimes even hard (okay, don’t laugh, but sometimes my life seems hard. Hey –no laughing), brain candy books is about all I can handle. So really, they do serve an important purpose.

The summer that J and G spent in Idaho is a good example. I missed them and didn’t want the complication of heavy reading. Also, I love reading about Regency England and I love a good romance and I found a whole slew of books by the same author to hold me over until my Sweetie came back to me. For decency’s sake I threw in a couple of Jane Austen’s. That way if anyone asked what I had read lately I could tell them without blushing. Oh, and I love Jane Austen. There’s always that.

Side note. Let me tell you what’s embarrassing: covering your book jacket with a homemade paper-bag book cover. Not to protect the binding but to protect yourself from having to see the cover. Yeah. Not a shining moment in my personal history. Also, I hate when books have pictures of people on the cover. I want to decide what the characters look like — not depend on some book-cover-design-artist (sorry if that’s what you do –but listen to the people, just leave the cover blank excepting the title. If a book is good enough, you don’t need to wow the audience with shiny pictures). If I want to see pictures in a book then I will buy a picture book. End rant.

For awhile, I have been able to content myself with what I consider crossover books: young adult and older-children books. Books that have great stories, are well told, books that don’t just tear your guts out and ask you to examine them. However, being as this is a newer area of focus for me, there is a lot of uncovered ground. And sometimes in the covering of ground, one is likely to step in a cow-pie or two. Or maybe just a puddle.

Actually, that makes it sound like I hate the books I’ve been reading. Not so. This is just the resentment talking.

I have gotten so fully away from those books, as previously mentioned, that I didn’t even know where to start. I mean, Jane Austen only wrote six books, Jane Eyre has no sequel and Blindness can only be seen so many times. I know there are many more classics and master authors out there but, again with the over-whelming-ness of it all. Because the other part of the problem is getting my heart in the right place and my mind aligned to something deeper. I have to be Ready.

Which is J’s cue to step in and say, “Why don’t you try…?” Lovely man. Offering me a novel I can get invested in, think about, discuss and love.

And maybe even take to dinner…

The Gracestress Starts Third Grade

2008-09-03T16:05:00.005-04:00

That's right, y'all, THIRD GRADE. Once again, the proud parents showcase (can I use that word?) their lovely daughter:

(Special thanks to Kate and Maddie for shrinking their new dress so that Grace might have it. She's a huge fan.)

But first, let us read a book. A little warm up for the big day.

(Thank you, Grandma Natalie!)

All Too Brief and Not Nearly Enough Pictures

2008-09-03T09:05:00.009-04:00

Once again, I'm going to start off with apologies and excuses -because that's how we roll around here. What?!

Firstly, I'm very sad to say that I didn't get to see all my friends and lovelies on this trip. Not enough time and I couldn't stop being tired -always. Weird. But, anyhow I wish I could have seen so many more people.

Secondly, I didn't take nearly enough pictures. Upon reviewing my pictures, it turns out I didn't get any of Moddy and missed a lot of cousins. I'm going to take the positive view on this and just be happy I remembered the camera at all -since it's a long standing Holmes' tradition to forget it in the first place.

Now for the pics.

Cafe Rio, post Temple trip:

Meeting the lovely and oh so sweet Natalie (who we LOVE):

Grace and Lo in the sandbox:

Family Dinner(s)*:

*there were actually many more of these pics but as they involve people eating and I want to remain friends with said people they shall remain unseen

Cute Cousins (yes -there are way more cute cousins than I have pictures -I'm working with what I have):

Cute Justin take us to the airport (thanks, Justin):

Suddenly, my font appears bold and large. I don't know why and can't fix it. Just know that I'm not, in fact, shouting or trying for the dramatic. No special emphasis intended (that I know of -perhaps my computer knows something I don't?).

Playing Make-Believe

2008-09-02T16:32:00.008-04:00

On the Farm:

At the Grocer:

Making the News:

Building Stuff:

Picnicking: Theatrics:

Going Places:

Thanks to the SLC Children's Museum (and, of course, Michele and Regan) for a delightful day.

This Holmes Is Going Home

2008-08-22T14:10:00.003-04:00

Pictures in a week.

Favorite Memories Take 1 or This Post is All About Moddy

2008-08-20T09:45:00.004-04:00

Hey.

In an effort to be positive and to have something consistently new to write about I am going to post favorite memories of my family members. This ensures two things: 1) positive words and messages, 2) at least ten new posts. (I recently wrote about my dad and I won't be including myself -far too many memories to list, therefore, only ten. That's nine kids plus Mom.)

Moddy's birthday was on Monday. I was totally going to write her age but in the interest of her not killing me (not that age is anything to be ashamed of), she turned 29. Not to mention the fact that she's only two years older than me.

Happy Birthday, Moddy!

Firstly, Moddy keeps me informed and in touch with what's happening with the family. She makes sure everyone is included and knows what's going on. In a family as big as ours, we all need Moddy.

Okay, memories.

Every year, growing up, I looked forward to Christmas shopping with Moddy. We'd wander around the SR Plaza looking for the perfect gifts and trying to hide each other's gifts from the other. Then we'd stop in at Chick-fil-A. Moddy introduced me to the surprisingly wonderful combination that is BBQ and mayo. (I hate mayo, folks, but seriously, this is good) With waffle fries and chicken nuggets. To this day I can't eat those things without having a Christmas/ Moddy memory. Good times.

Also, Moddy was always the designated gift wrapper for Mom. I don't know if she loved it or not but I was always a little envious that she got to know what everyone got. I can't believe she never told or used that knowledge to her advantage. That's probably why she got the job.Totally awesome.

Moddy always has cool friends. She attracts the best people to her. In high school and jr. high, I always wanted to be friends with her friends. Even at EFY, which was like five days, she would make these great friends. I think it's a matter of awesome people attracting other awesome people. And she's still good at keeping in touch with many of them. Which amazes me because I had great friends in school too, but can't seem to keep in touch to save my life.

When Moddy was at TCFKARTIWOECR (the college formerly known as ricks that i will only ever call ricks), I got to visit her for a few days. She was the best hostess ever. It was over or near Easter and she totally made me an Easter Basket. I loved that Easter basket! And I felt very cool getting it from her. Then she took me to my first rodeo ever and even sneaked (spell check tells me this is correct but it seems very wrong to say 'sneaked') me into a COLLEGE DANCE with COLLEGE BOYS. Can I just tell you how excited I was about that?! Very. She knows how to make a little sister proud.

Okay this next one is me being mean to someone else but I still don't like him and I loved that Moddy inadvertently did it so I'm totally going to be mean for a minute. When Moddy first met my boyfriend from high school (yes, I only had one and it was a HUGE MISTAKE) she thought he was his little brother. Sorry Moddy, if you were embarrassed about that at the time but it was so funny, in hind sight. And it's true, he looked like a little kid.

Anyhow, back to Moddy memories. Two other random things that I love about Moddy:

she was the first to make friends with my brother's wife (then girlfriend) and start hanging out with her. And then she let me hang out, too. Moddy has good taste in friends. We LOVE my brother's wife! (We love all our brothers' wives, this story just happens to be about one)
she knew about me flying in Summer's mom's airplane when I wasn't supposed to and she didn't tell Mom (hi, Mom - sorry about that. I'm sure Grace will pay me back.)

Last but not least. In jr. high, Moddy had a pair of blue plaid pants (stop what you're thinking, they were totally cool. So cool, in fact, that when she gave them to me a year later I was very excited about it. I still remember them, that's how cool they were.) When I first arrived as a seventh grader, I loved walking about behind Moddy (a ninth grader) and saying 'hi [Moddy]' as obnoxiously as possible.

So, I'm walking one day and see blue plaid pants and long brown hair (which was totally awesome, btw) and ready myself for the requisite obnoxiousness. Only it turns out, after I've yelled hi, that it's not Moddy at all. It was some other person. Yes. I was very embarrassed. However, she was friends with Moddy, of course, and told her about it. Later that day Moddy assured me it was very funny and not really that embarrassing at all. Thanks Moddy, for making a little seventh grader feel better.

That's all for now with the Moddy-Love. I hope you had an awesome birthday!

New Hair

2008-08-19T14:14:00.004-04:00

Edited to add: I feel like I'm written these same words or ideas before but couldn't find the post I thought I'd written. I'm going to sum up. Then if you've heard it all before or haven't but really don't want to waste your time, please go to another blog. Maybe I should always do this -summarize my posts. Nah.

In summary - I like new things....blah, blah, blah....there must be something wrong with me....blah, blah, blah....what things do you like?

And so.

I love to get my hair cut and highlighted*. I'm not as blond as I used to/want to be anymore. I do mean that literally, not figuratively, so stop smirking all you blond-teasers. Because I want, therefore I should.

I tell my self I need to have my hair done as often as I need to. I deserve it, why shouldn't I have hair that I like? This is after I tell myself that cute/trendy shoes aren't so great anyway and it's not that big a deal if I'll never be as tall and willowy as other people I know. See where I'm going with this?

I used to do it a lot with food. "I can have whatever I want", "I earned it...", "I'm too tired to cook", "I said 'no' to that other thing I wanted...". I try to keep eating to hunger-related issues these days. (The exception being the time of the plague. And there isn't anyone who can make me feel bad about that. Why yes, pizza does cure cramps. Diet coke with lime totally gets rid of a headache. Why do you ask?)

I would like to think I use food less as a reward now because of my amazing personal insight and acceptance. I no longer need food to make me feel happier/less bored or to distract me. I would believe that, however, I think amazon book sellers everywhere would laugh their heads off. All the way to the bank. And my local Lane Bryant store has seen a fair amount of use over the last few years. Again with the liking to look nice.

Am I compensating? Justifying? Does it matter?

What are your favorite 'must haves' - the things you can do something about? What are the things you want but do not get to have? Things you can not have due to genetics and/or circumstances beyond your control.

My list is long. Here is a sampling: lots of super cute shoes and even shoes with (gasp) heels, red hair (Anne Shirley, anyone?), curly hair, small fingers, endless energy, and so on. There's even a little part of me that wishes I were a long-distance runner.**

There are, of course, the private things that I'd rather not post to the whole world. For that list I would have to refer you to my super-secret, locked-up diary.

And to end on a positive note, I am thankful for lovely big girls writing books about other lovely big girls. Thank you Jennifer Weiner.

I am also thankful for great hair. Natural, bottled, whatever.

*By the way, if you live in the area and don't have a favorite hair person -I do and I'll pass on her name if you email me. Love. Her. She's also very affordable and a great friend.

**If you're wondering why running is impossible for me I would refer you to my awesome post about what it was like to develop rhuematoid arthritis at age 18. Unfortunately, I haven't written it yet and I feel my readership^* should only have to put up with a certain amount of 'poor me' so it will not be getting written.

^*Isn't it sweet how I assume I have a readership? Bless my little heart.

My Girl Got Baptized!

2008-08-12T15:03:00.014-04:00

But first she turned twelve:

wait no, I mean eight:

and had her special breakfast (not in bed, because she woke up before mom and dad. What?! We were tired):
and opened presents

and Justin stared down some butterflies:

and went to an Activity Day Girl's activity (in which they gave her a fun candy bar card):

THEN

Grace got baptized, by her dad, on Saturday at 2pm:

And I gave a talk.

Grace's friend Sadie came with her family. These girls really love each other. Huge thanks to Sadie's dad, Steve, for the beautiful music and to Carrie, for the opening prayer. I gave Grace a choice of who she wanted to do what and she was very definite about this.

Grace with Dane and Josie. Her bestest friends (together with their parents, too) and the longest (but not as long) still in State College with us. Dane gave the best talk on baptism (totally upstaged me), Cass gave the closing prayer and Shawn was one of the ordinance witnesses—Grace was so happy about this. Thanks so much to Shawn and Cass for taking the pictures and passing out programs and giving me props. You guys are awesome! (but you already know that)

Grace had a good couple of days. Justin and I are only mildly exhausted. Our house needs a good cleaning and there is a sweet teddy bear that needs a name. All in all, not too shabby.

Modesty: a re-post

2008-08-07T14:35:00.003-04:00

This is a four-year-old post I wrote over on Justin's blog. (also, I think Justin may have helped with the wording because some of it seems more sophisticated) It's a topic I've been thinking about again and rather than reinvent the wheel, I'm going to plagiarize myself. Can I do that? Well, I'm going to.

Behold, a voice from yesteryear:

Lately I've been thinking about what to teach Grace about modesty as she gets older. Right now it's a matter of, "put your shirt down, please don't take your clothes off" (actually these days - 2008- it's 'more about covering her body with sunblock and covering her clothes for painting), but some day I'll need to say more.

I don't like the school of thought that says girls need to dress modestly so they don't cause young men and boys to have impure thoughts. Honestly, they're (men/boys) going to have their own thoughts whether or not a girl is dressed appropriately or not. It also feeds into the cultural norm that girls are responsible for the moral well-being of boys. I totally don't buy that argument. Whatever happened to free agency, or choice and accountability? People are responsible for their own thoughts.

This is what I believe: thoughts about sex and what not are natural and happen with or without provocation. What you do with those thoughts (entertaining them, embellishing and whatnot) is really what can cause problems or not. And that is the responsibility of the individual, not anyone else.

I want to teach Grace to dress and act modestly for her own sake. To show respect to her body because it's her body. I want Grace to love her body and be thankful for what it does for her. I hope I can convey to her that keeping it covered and out of harms way (literally, not metaphorically) is the best way to show self-respect. I don't want her to have issues regarding the right body type or size (although this almost seems like a rite of passage for most girls.)

I also don't buy into the argument that less clothing is more empowering for women. I've been trying to figure out where that comes from and the conclusion I've reached is this: men can get away with wearing less because in theory they have less to cover. Therefore, if women want to be more empowered they should also adopt the social norms for men. The idea that men set the standard for what's right or good really rankles with me. (I should admit here to being a somewhat angry person--something I need to work out.)

It's not that I think men are any less good or righteous than women they just aren't any more so either. There are far better ways of being powerful: taking charge of a situation, being in control of oneself, asserting your feelings and needs, etc. Women dressing less to be more powerful is playing to the lowest common denominator. We can do better (and many already do.)

This is not the point in which I start a bra burning. I would just like Grace to have fewer hang-ups about her body than I did and do. Really, isn't that what every parent wants? For their child to be better prepared, better at everything than they (the parents) are?

One reason I've been thinking about this is that my rules for Grace's church dress has changed. Up until the last year or so, she's been allowed to wear sleeveless dresses to church and church activities. She appears modestly dressed to me so I don't worry about it. I'm also more concerned that her underwear not say crazy things like 'eye candy' and what not. (seriously, right? some of the "little girl" clothing lines are a step away from $2 hooker)

Lately however, it's come to my attention that none of the other girls at church, of Grace's age, wear anything sleeveless. In an effort to avoid comment or Grace's feeling on the 'outs', I've explained to her that she can't wear sleeveless clothing to church anymore. I just put it as 'that's the way it is'. The fact that neither Justin or I wear sleeveless anything helps with this argument -meaning there is no argument. I still buy her sleeveless clothing for play and school. Also, I tend to make a bigger deal about the potential for sunburn than modesty when it comes to clothing choice.

It's hard for me to know which of my feelings are religion inspired, upbringing/parentally inspired, or just plain caving to the popular opinion on church dress standards. How do I sort that out?!

What are your rules (or what will they be/were they)? How do you make distinctions or draw lines? Or do you?

Oh yeah, and today I'm thankful for waffle fries.

Today I'm Thankful For

2008-08-06T10:29:00.002-04:00

Girl's Night

We saw Mama Mia. It's true Pierce Brosnan should not ever sing. But, it's Remington Steele and really, I'll forgive a lot from him. Just like with Bruce Willis of Moonlighting fame. Good times. Anywho, the movie was fun and the girls they are great.

Blah, Revisited. And The Whole Issue Of Always Wanting More

2008-08-05T15:22:00.003-04:00

Moddy talked about feeling blah not too long ago. Today I would like to say 'me too'. I feel blah. (Actually, I just typed 'blad' -and that really does describe my feeling blah and bad. sigh)

Perhaps I'm just going through the let down of anticipating a book for AGES and then getting to read it and now both the anticipation and the reading are over. I can never go back to the waiting and not knowing again. Poor me. Poor person who got what she wanted the minute it was available. Boohoo. And who even got to read it The Same Day. Again I say, boohoo.

Since Saturday (of The Big Read -that Saturday), I have read: Ever by Gail Carson Levine and The Swan Kingdom by someone else and started Princess Ben by Kathrine Gilbert Murdock. I have put The Wolves ... series and The Dark Is Rising series on my list at the library (thank you, Sherry Carpet).

I'm also expecting the next two Fablehaven books in the mail any day now.* And I plan to pick up several more Artemis Fowl books at the library any day now. And I just learned of the Redwall series (why have I never heard of this before?!?! Grace will love these!!! yelling intended) And. And. And.

Perhaps you are seeing the problem. Always wanting more to read. Always wanting. Always getting. No reason to ever be sad or blah.** And yet. I keep touching on this topic of wanting more and the need to acquire things and then not really discussing.

I don't really know what to say about it. Other than this: People and relationships are more important than things. This is true. Things are fun to have and to get. Also true. I feel that I need to be satisfied with what I have and stop looking to acquire. Yes. But still I continue to acquire. How does one go about stopping that habit? Other than to just stop, which as everyone knows is easier said than done.

Perhaps what I will do is this; I am not going to buy anything for myself today. There. I can do that. I'll try making the same promise tomorrow and the next day. Let you know how it goes. Oh yeah -and I'll think of what I'm thankful for.***

In happier news: The Gracetress turns eight on Friday! She will be baptized on Saturday at 2pm -refreshements to follow. Tacky or not, please consider yourself invited.

We -J and I- even managed to explain that we're not doing a birthday party this year because we want the focus to be on her and being baptized and not let a party get in the way of that. Which is really a topic for another post. The incredible part is that she agreed to it without any drama. I know, right! She is amazing, that lovely child of ours.

*Sorry, Justin - I was going to mention those when they got here. Have I ever mentioned that I have a book-owning addiction? Well I do and I haven't been keeping it very well in hand of late. It's my cheetah destiny. And sorry that you're reading about it here on the blog for the first time. At least it's not a break-up note or something of that sort. You love me.)

**No, I'm not pms'ing or dealing with the plague. In case you were wondering.

*** Blueberries.

The Big Read

2008-08-01T14:38:00.002-04:00

If you're super excited for tonight at midnight or tomorrow morning as early as the local bookstore opens, well, me too. If not, then I'm very sorry to have troubled you.

To all those who know what I'm talking about: Wahoo! The day has finally come! (I'm very excited, if you can't tell.)

And let us all get reading and reconvene in a few days time.

Happy Release Day Eve and to all a good night.

In Which The Gracetress Has A New Hair Cut And Mommy Has A Girl's Night

2008-07-29T10:53:00.011-04:00

On Saturday, Grace got a new haircut. Boy is she excited.
Oh wait.

Okay now, she is excited....

And now....

Yep. She still likes it.

Meanwhile back at the bat cave, Mommy was having fun with friends...

No worries, all, I was drinking diet coke (the modern milly's beverage of choice).

Fun With Books

2008-07-25T15:23:00.003-04:00

I am loving the exploding genre of young adult and older children's books. It's so fun to relive a simpler time without the complication of having to live through it - again. If that makes any sense.

The discovery of new ideas. The struggle with adults and their choices. The excitement of first or new love - as can only be described by a teenager. It's a great time in life, that often is only appreciated once it's past (and one can rest easy it will never come back). Not that I want to go back to high school or junior high. Let us not be ridiculous.

I'm not talking about the classics, either. Purely the brain candy. There might be a discussion topic or two thrown in but nobody will be writing term papers about these books. These are the ones that end well rather than with a bunch of half-naked boys running around an island trying to kill a pig or a boy named Piggy (was that his name?). You also won't find handmaidens or WWII tragedies in the books I'm reading.

Fantasy. Adventure. Drama. Magic, sometimes. Happy Endings, always. That's the key. There must be a happy endings. And it can't be after a character I loved has died and everyone is making the best of it. Smiling through tears. No. That won't do at all. If someone dies the reader had better well be assured that the character is not in fact dead but in a in-between world and will be choosing to come back to finish off the bad guy (you know who I mean).

Yes. Fun books. It's all I seem to be into these days. I even checked out some real books and let them sit on the shelf until the due date and then returned them (GASP) unread. It's true. I checked out The Book Thief and it also sat on my shelf until it was recalled. Then suddenly I was interested again because, if someone else really wants it - it must be good -and I better get reading - library fine or no. However, even that faded when I realized that this was a very sad book. Great. But very sad. It too, went back to the library unfinished.

I can't do sad right now. Or heavy. I tried Slaughterhouse Five. Nope. Great writing, too heavy. And bitter. Oh the bitterness! Back to the library. Even the Secret Life of Bees is sitting on my shelf patiently. It came with such high recommendations that I went out and bought it. Some day I will be ready for it and it will be ready and waiting for me. Not today, though. Not even tomorrow.

I'm really hoping it's a phase. Because, seriously, I need to read books that I can discuss without a little shame or apology. Or maybe (as Justin has suggested oh so many times) I need to change my elitist attitude and just accept all books as valid and just be happy to be reading. Which is it? What is your feeling/attitude toward reading? Do you set expectations for your reading lists? Please share.

And because this post is not nearly long enough, here are a few of my favorites over the last six months or so. You can also check out my list at goodreads.com.

Shannon Hale
Stephenie Bray
Scott Westerfeld
Gail Carson Levine
Libba Bray
Cornelia Funke
Beverly Cleary
JK Rowling (yes, I re-read them)
Spiderwick author that I can't remember right now
Jessica Day George

others that I can't remember

and so on...

Watch Your Language Please

2008-07-22T14:48:00.004-04:00

That's what I've been told. Grace asked me to not say "crap" anymore because she might say it if she hears it too much. Also, no more saying the word b**t**d.

So, how much is "too much"? And let's be clear. I've only said the "b" word in front of Grace once. (That I know of. Or can remember.)

I was playing Zelda last week and the red phantom guy got me. Without thinking, I immediately called him a "little b**t**d". Grace asked what that meant and I explained that it meant I was mad. Then she asked why I said it and I told her about being killed and losing a WHOLE minute.

"You're right, he is a 'little b**t**d'."

Ooops.

"Um Grace?, you really shouldn't use that word. I shouldn't use it either. Little kids who use it will get in trouble."

Justin went a step further and explained where that word came from and the historical context in which it was originally used. He wanted her to understand why people still use it as a bad word and that it really shouldn't be used as a bad word anymore since those social norms have changed. (Fortunately)

Yes. It's true. I need to clean up my language. It's a shame, though, 'crap' is one of my favorite go-to words. Stay tuned and I may share some of my new ones.

**Edited to add: Justin reminded me that the main reason he wanted Grace to understand why we don't call people the "b" word is that it makes people feel bad. And more especially back in the day when being called a 'b' or being labeled as one would affect your status in society.

All The Fun You Can Handle

2008-07-15T14:26:00.004-04:00

Also formerly called "Mother-Daughter Day" at Arts Fest. Behold:

(For those of you not in the know, in pics 2-4, Grace is standing under slowly filling buckets of water. They all eventually fall and the process repeats. Hot summer day. Cold buckets of water randomly falling on you. What's not to love?)

Terrified of getting a face full of water. Terrified of not. So much fun.

Don't tell me a good time was not had by all. I'll never believe it.